


Take My Heart (•GonKillu•)

by GonKilluLuciel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: BoyxBoy, Gay, Gonkillu - Freeform, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, bxb - Freeform, gonxkillua, hxh - Freeform, killuaxgon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25786552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonKilluLuciel/pseuds/GonKilluLuciel
Summary: They met in a bar, hooked up the night, and woke up in the arms of each other. A Sergeant in Military Ranks, Gon Freecss, and a Medical student, Killua Zoldyck, with two different sadistic backgrounds were bound to be in the same bed before a huge apocalypse.Project MC-5, a laboratory virus, was let free to eat the brain of humans and let them rot but stay alive. A war weapon that destroyed the whole world to make it a surviving hell — Malice.•••Gon couldn't look at Killua's traumatized eyes and he didn't say a word. Blood dripped down from Gon, and everyone was hypnotically silent."No one could survive the weapon without some sacrifices, right?" Killua's lips pressed to a thin line to prevent trembling. He only nodded, bangs covering his agonized eyes merrily."You're an idiot," Killua mumbled, longing to hear Gon's profanities, but the latter wasn't saying a thing. "But maybe that's why I love you…" Gon smiled, and it was a mix of sarcasm and pain. "I will repair you, Gon…"Everything was followed by Gon's painful scream...
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 67
Kudos: 77





	1. Sinful Beginning

**PART I: LOVE BENEATH THE FLESH**

It ticked off by a swift of air, lurching and swaying deliberately under the plasma-like sky. Raindrops were the drops that smothered the land with slow kisses that augmented with faster ones. Ultimately, the rain was pulsing on the dirt and awakening the fragrance of the welcomed winter.

December is a month of agony. Humans consider it a Christmas! To spend it under the blankets, next to the Christmas tree. It is a holiday to feast your eyes with holiday crackers _with family_. It's a month of agony for people who were lulled by sin, the people who mourned a loved one, and the people who left their family for none.

It's a day where a lonely individual meandered the empty street like any desperate human. The street that lured every devil, gangster, and pocket thief. Said individual staggered forward, giving a hopeless vibe of loneliness. He didn't give up on his life like other people because he never trusted in what's beyond a life such as this one.

All he wanted was a small glass of whiskey or vodka to burn his insides, maybe he will feel alive again?

The only sounds occupying his ears were the calming ticks of the rain and the splashed puddles by his boots. Though, it was all interrupted by the sign of a rusty bar. Its neon lights were indecisive about whether it should turn on or off, triggering slight irritation for the individual's eardrums.

Ignoring the illuminating lights of the neon beer that hung above the entrance, he grabbed the rustic knob and twisted it sluggishly. The door squeaked as if screaming from back pain. It opened and swung aside, allowing the entrance for the young adult. Once opened, the whiff of alcohol enveloped him, sending him to a stillness of wrong desires. All he needed was to forget his pain.

He finally put a foot on the old, imperfectly elastic wood and clomped towards the bar. The stench of cigars and cigarettes consumed the place, and it was oddly mixed by the essence of women of the night. He wholly ignored the action happening in the bar as a bunch of teens were rocking the night with their seductive moves, and adults surrounded the largest table, snickering like no tomorrow. 

It means nothing to this lost individual who lost a person he dearly loved. He was joyful like these people, but he understood that joy will end at some point to be attacked by the penetrating sadness. Eventually, he couldn’t pry into others’ fun time, so he slumped his head down and cried. 

Maybe the alcohol started affecting his brain. The night was passing by, but to Killua, it felt like a minute still. He couldn’t even remember how many shots he had drunk. He was under the legal age of drinking, yet he was drunk and nearly wasted. Rock blasted along with the screams of the fake people. They danced, jumped, and laughed while the albino young adult settled on drinking and mourning the happiness that he had lost a few days ago before Christmas. Being in a relationship, but truly loving someone who doesn’t care is the worst. Killua, the young adult, faced such wrath. 

The dance floor was fused with bodies, overwhelming lights of all hot and cold colors danced around the place. It messed with the cornea of the eye and blinded its pupil’s sight, yet it took a lost person to another dimension. Killua never noticed someone sitting next to him. Jabbing and mixing blues with jazz and rock, the DJ did a great job of hurting a drunk’s brain. Killua groaned, ruffled his messy silver hair, then sniffled. 

He knows what will make him better; it’s a little shot of his whiskey. Alas, he didn’t find the glass despite swinging his hand in every direction. It irritated him, so he sputtered nonsense and swung his arm vociferously as if the glass might appear. Steadying his weighing head on his propped arm, his other flailing arm suddenly grabbed something else. 

Although he was drunk, he knew the thing he grabbed wasn’t his whiskey. He bestirred his eyes open to stare at his side. It was blurry, but he was sure that the person was annoyed by Killua’s touch. Killua ruffled his hair with his arm and stared at his hand grabbing the tan hand of the man next to him. 

He didn’t know what was so funny, but he giggled. “You… You look funny.” 

The person next to him didn’t reply. He just stared at his shot before pushing Killua’s hand away; he was able to see Killua’s wet eyes, so he decided not to make a fuss out of it. On the other hand, Killua groaned and squeezed the man’s hand again, which annoyed the man vastly. “Don’t touch me.” The harsh husky tone aroused the broken albino who bit his lip, still steadying his head on his propped arm. The subsequent silence between them gave Killua the chance to clear his vision and eye the man next to him. Propping on his arm gave him the full advantage of taking the man fully in. 

His spiky black hair suited the rocking atmosphere. It was a little messy as little tufts dangled from each side. He wanted to put his hands on it and pet it although it looked like a cactus from another perspective. He bit his lower lip harder when the man slugged his shot, then exhaled loudly after receiving the sensation. His knitted eyebrows and squeezed eyelids let the albino melt at the sight. 

Finally grasping his glass, he sipped slowly, eyes not leaving the man next to him. He was waiting to see more of him. Probably his eyes or much, much more…

The music shifted to a calming tune, slumping the tense shoulders of the young adult. He couldn’t fight the urge of putting his head on the man’s shoulder since he liked how muscular he was. “What are you doing?” His husky voice snapped him out of his abeyance all over again. He raised his head up and steadied it by his chin on the man’s shoulder, so they were eye to eye, breaths hitching, and clouting each other’s faces. 

“You have incredible eyes,” Killua mumbled, dominated by the fire of the man’s amber eyes. “They look so warm but arousing.” The man frowned and tried pushing Killua away. Nonetheless, Killua clutched the man's bicep tightly, stubborn to not let go of his new source of warmth. 

“What do you want? Kids shouldn’t be in a place like this. Go back to your home.” He heard that alluring voice again, ordering him as if he was concerned about his well-being. Killua looked back up seductively, eyes full of lust and want. 

“Stop being a daddy and warm me now.” Killua’s trembling tone caught the man off guard. He coughed and regained his posture shortly before staring at the torn young adult. He looked so broken and in need of someone to take care of him…

“I’m Gon by the way.” Succumbing to the given aura from the hot albino, he revealed his name, which drew a huge smirk on the drunk albino’s lips. 

“Killua.” Gon nodded and stared at the largest table, where tough men were playing and laughing loudly. When they didn’t notice him, he grasped Killua’s hand and snuck to a nearby motel a few feet away from the bar. “Where are you taking me, sexy man?” Killua staggered and bumped dazedly into Gon. 

He was chilled due to the sudden decrease in temperature. Because of smoke, sweat, and alcohol, the bar was warm. However, Gon snuck them out of there to the cold atmosphere all over again.

He is supposed to give the albino warmth, not coldness. Jogging the stairs and dodging several trips, both of them were drunk and probably wasted.

Seconds later, both of them reached the number of their room. They eyed each other lustfully. Killua leaned on the wall, waiting for the older one to unlock the door.

He wants to forget about who broke his heart in such a holy month. Rain excessively hammered outside as the duo stepped inside.

Gon took off his shoes and went to inspect the raindrops on the foggy window. The burning wood from the tiny chimney in the room cracked the silence and collaborated with the sound of the knocking raindrops on the closed window; the soft sounds were calming and often mixed with the sound of thunder.

Killua plopped on the mattress with a little escaping moan and waited rather impatiently for his hook-up sudden date. "Gon…" Whimpering slightly, Killua switched to lay on his stomach and raised his head to give the raven-haired a slutty pout.

The latter turned to him, eyes darkening desirably at the vulnerable boy. Laying like this on a mattress while they're both alone is a big crime. "You want me this bad? You're such a slut."

Killua sagged his head at the rough, cheap mattress and groaned. "I'm depressed and cold. I want you to take this away."

Gon didn't wait for another explanation, he scampered towards the bed and crawled over the albino. "You asked for it."

Plopping on his back to face the one topping him, Killua smirked alluringly. He wrapped his arms around Gon's neck, forcing the older down for a hot wet kiss.

Running under the rain to get to the motel was, kind of, a good idea. It aroused them of how wet their clothes had become. 

Gon slurped into Killua's lower lip who moaned loudly at his attitude. They were grinding their bodies heatedly, which ignited Gon further. "You're a slut." Gon broke the kiss to mumble, but Killua grabbed his face and forced him down for another kiss.

The turn converted to Gon who moaned lowly at the harsh kiss. Minutes passing and the excessive make-out session was never-ending. Gon took out his tongue to inspect the boy beneath him.

He was panting vastly, pupils romping significantly at the sight of the older one. Gon's eyes jolted down to his puffed lips, where he licked them sensually, noticing his pale face that was now blemished in red. He relished the change and wanted to cherish this unique cuteness. Eventually, he swooped on Killua's neck hungrily, sniffing the perfect odor of him before pecking it continuously and alluringly.

"You're so good…" Gon needed to admit it, so he conceded by telling Killua this into his ear. The latter shivered and consented.

"Fuck me. Fuck… me."

Gon breathed out rigidly, then took off Killua’s purple turtleneck. The enthusiasm for inspecting the skin of the albino was curling up into Gon. His body is so clean and smooth; there isn’t a mark, nor a hickey. Gon tilted his head sexily, still eyeing the upper half of Killua’s body who trembled at Gon’s hot stares. 

“Y-You like what you see?” Killua sputtered lowly, eyeing Gon stealthily. The latter was riding his palm on Killua’s soft skin and enjoying the smoothness of it. 

“You seem so raw… so raw and smooth that I feel bad marking you.”

Killua groaned impatiently and grabbed Gon from the collar of his oily-colored shirt, forcing him down again and kissing him hungrily. Their lips moved in an adequate rhythm as if they were born for each other. Gon’s taste was everything Killua admired since the day he broke up with his unfaithful boyfriend. 

He will absolutely regret losing his virginity to Gon, the stranger, after holding into it all these years. Nonetheless, when someone is broken, they will stop thinking about other things. Their overprotectiveness will be transformed into hatred towards that thing or object and they will likely want to get rid of. 

Killua’s virginity to him, just became this type of burden since the day that it was the reason for breaking up with his first and forever love. 

Gon broke the kiss and stared at Killua again. He was sobering up and started to get aware of his surroundings. The beautiful boy underneath him was sniffling, cheeks blemished in red, and eyes full of fake lust. He wanted Gon to fuck him, but Gon was settling on teasing still. 

The thunder roared outside, and the fire dimmed in the tiny, old chimney. Killua pushed Gon down and crawled on top of him. If Gon doesn’t want to take the lead, then Killua will do it. Without a warning, he smashed his lips against him mid-sentence and he leaned back. Unashamedly undressing Gon’s thin shirt and throwing it aside, Killua stared at how Gon turned away bashfully. Although it wasn’t Gon’s first time, something was holding him back. 

Maybe Killua’s tears and how broken he sounded? He wants him but also doesn’t, so he resigned to Killua’s lead. 

“Are you sure?” It was everything Gon was able to come out with. He mumbled it as it all depended on the upcoming answer. He knew that Killua is probably a virgin due to his sloppy kisses and rushed sexual moves and that drew him slightly away. 

However, Killua smiled and continued until he got to Gon’s pants. The albino’s hands shook with anticipation and his head was filled with crazy thoughts. Half of them were horny teen thoughts while the others were Killua hesitating and blaming himself for the coming outcome. Before he could even think, they were naked. The sapphire-eyed 19 years old young adult stopped before Gon touched his nipples as he noticed his hands coming closer.

“Teasing me?”

Killua smiled “Of course baby… of course. It’s my turn.” Gon cut the cocky drunk albino by kissing him vigorously, and Killua’s heart skipped three beats. His stomach fluttered when Gon groped his chest and squeezed his nipples.

“Rock me, daddy. Please. Make me scream..." Killua mumbled and licked his lips, sending jolts of heat towards Gon’s member. A little boy got him hard, how shameful. He stared with his deep hazel eyes that melted the cold inside Killua’s freezing irises, giving the sign that the teasing just ended. His warm flesh took over and his energy soared through the vulnerable hot albino.

Switching places all over again, Gon’s hands pinned Killua to the bed and his toes curled nervously. He didn’t leave any part of Killua’s body untouched; Hickeys colored Killua’s pale body and accessorized the smooth skin of his. He arched his back when Gon pounded into him. Killua screamed out and dug his nails into his back. Gon groped Killua’s ass while pounding and thrusting faster and faster. On the other hand, Killua was biting his lip hard until the pleasurable sensation shot too hard and hot liquid devoured his hole. The albino shivered in delight when he heard Gon breathe out rigidly. The instant Gon took off his member, Killua fell into a deep slumber. The older stared at Killua’s wasted figure before fixing his position and relaxing next to him.

He found a half-full bottle of whiskey in the cabinet next to the bed, so he poured himself a glass to continue his drinking night. He couldn’t help but stare at Killua who was sleeping on his stomach, snoring softly. Gon will cherish this nightstand and what happened in it. Everything about it and the beauty of Killua that won’t leave his mind for a while.

Morning light washed the darkroom the way the soap expunges dirt from the white laundry. A new day of survival although winter made it sound so numb. 

Usually, mornings are full of life. The sound of children running around, pets, joggers, and more are mixed together, but today's been silent. What woke Gon up this time wasn't a sound of annoying neighbors, a street fight, nor his phone ringing. It was the sun only. 

And in his messy life, that's unusual. He hummed sluggishly, frowning at the trespassing light through the thin blinds. He emerged his fingers into his hair and moved slightly. What should he do with his life?

It took him a moment to shed the haziness of sleep from his brain, knocking out the visions of his bloody dreams and allowing reality to be unlocked again. Indeed it was a heavy slumber, drowning Gon to the bottom of his nightmares. Fortunately, he was able to open his eyelids and stare at the brown cleft ceiling.

It took him a second to notice that he was in an unfamiliar room. His eyes slightly widened and snippets of memories from yesterday were flooding back into his memory. Finally, he got the courage to look next to him and see the epitome of beauty peacefully asleep, both of his hands under his head and a string of saliva staining them and the corner of his lip. The second thing he noticed was their naked bodies. The blanket only covered their lower half, showing the pale skin of the young boy next to him.

Gon's throat went dry when he knew what he did with him as he also remembered that the boy was probably a virgin. "Shit."

Eventually, the upset by his actions decided to have a shower. The memories from yesterday were making his body heat up and he didn't want his hormones to go insane for that boy again.

Killua blinked the sleepiness after a while of Gon going to have his morning shower. He shuffled underneath the cold blankets and shivered at a sudden pain. “What the—” He moaned lightly and touched his hip. His mind was extremely foggy and he wanted to throw up how much he drank yesterday. “Wh-Where am I…” He murmured hoarsely and rubbed his throat before looking around. He slowly sat and winced before he noticed that he’s naked. His heart skipped a beat, and he covered his mouth shockingly. “Wh-What did I do… Oh god… Oh god…” 

As if they were shut before, his ears finally heard the streaming water in the nearby room. Killua stared at the old closed-door intently with a sick pale face. Whoever the person that fucked him while being drunk is there having a shower…

He hugged himself and soon jumped at the sound of a ringing phone. He stared at the phone on the other nightstand, vibrating and ringing like a maniac. Killua gulped and looked at the closed door of the bathroom. It’s the phone of the stranger who did it to him… It stopped ringing after a minute passed.

Killua breathed fearfully and clasped the blanket to cover his chest when the door of the bathroom opened. “Oh, you’re awake.” 

Killua didn’t dare to look at the man coming towards him. He was scared and it didn’t help to ease his trembling. “I… I think you don’t remember what happened last night.” 

Killua flinched, eyes welling up in tears. He was a virgin… He took his virginity. 

“We were so drunk yesterday, it sucked…” Gon excused, but Killua never looked at him. It made Gon feel even more guilty. When he was going to say something else, his phone rang again. He let out a sigh and rushed to answer the call.

“Yes, sir.” 

Killua finally raised his face to take a glimpse at the person who marked his body; the first one to mark him ever. Gon was wrapping a towel around his waist and his hair was down and dripping.

 _“Where were you the whole night?!”_

“I had some private business when I was off duty. Is something the matter?” Gon was able to hear the sound of a frustrated yet worried sigh. 

_“It’s the secret weapon…”_

Gon’s eyes glimmered before he eyed Killua from the corners of his eyes. Killua shivered and looked down, avoiding Gon’s frown and covering his chest with the blanket and tightening his grip on it. 

“What about it?” 

_“Horrible news. I can’t talk via the phone and the communication service will be cut soon! Listen carefully to what I will have to say!”_

“I’m all ears, sir.” 

_“The virus spread between civilians, and affection is taking place horribly. It’s spreading so fast!”_

“Wh-What! Our civilians—”

 _“Yes, Gon. You have to come to the base fast! It’s chaot—”_

“Hello? Sir?” Gon took the phone off his ear and stared at the signal. There isn’t any signal anymore. Gon grunted and dried himself as fast as he could. 

Killua was staring at him confusedly, tears staining his cheeks as he looked at Gon who was cursing under his breath. Killua noticed the clothes Gon was wearing. It’s a military outfit.

He was fucked by a military dude?! 

Gon stared at him and saw Killua staring with a blush at Gon who wore his clothes without shame in front of the young adult. “Why are you still in bed?!” 

“Wh-What?” 

Gon finally heard the soft not-drunk-anymore voice of Killua. He was able to see how broken he was, so he sighed. “Wear your clothes fast, we are leaving.”

“E-Excuse me—”

“Don’t ask any questions. You have to stay with me from now on.” 

“I- I have a life, not like you—”

“There is no life anymore. It is a survival from now on.” Killua examined Gon’s serious reaction and wondered if he was joking, but there wasn’t any sign of a joke. 

Survival...


	2. Shell-Shock

The storm was whistling outside, and the window was shuddering from the knocking air. Dark-consumed clouds covered the light of the sun, and the little wavering light from the candle wasn't enough to light the whole room. The wood in the chimney turned to ash, and the humidity went the whole way down.

Staring at each other menacingly, Killua sank deeper into the blankets and glared at the flaring eyes of Gon. "You're not going to come with me?" The raven-haired soldier muttered, eyeing the embarrassed and naked young adult.

"Why would I come with you?! I don't even know you!" The albino hissed at Gon's glare who focused on the small tufts that were sticking in all directions. It made the youngster sound much sexier. "It was a nightstand, nothing more. That's not enough to order me to go wherever with you."

"As you wish. Stay here and get sick like other civilians."

"What does that mean?!"

Gon turned towards the door, gave Killua a meaningful look before closing the door behind him with a barely audible thud. The albino was frowning at the cracked wooden door before he decided to have a shower.

His body is sore, especially his lower half, which was a pain moving around. He limped towards the bathroom door, sulking at the rusty knob and the little splinters of paint falling on his fingers.

The door groaned from old age when Killua squeaked it open. His bare feet touched the warm ground of the bathroom since Gon just took a shower. The steam didn't blow off completely and the mirror was foggy, so Killua couldn't see his reflection nor the hickeys marking his whole body.

A shiver ran down his spine because of switching from the cold room to the hot bathroom. He limped towards the shower and turned it on, adjusting the water, and getting in.

Unfortunately, his peace only lasted for two scrubs and one hair rubbing before the door of the bathroom banged open, slamming the wall behind it. Killua squeaked and covered his naked body once met with the cold air again.

He stared embarrassingly at the panting Gon who sounded extremely anxious and serious. "Get the fuck out and wear your outfit, FAST!"

Killua shivered. The tone he was met with wasn't the tone that he can deny. It wasn't the tone of the stranger he once did it with; it's the tone of a soldier who is expecting a yes as an answer only.

He gulped and obeyed once Gon rushed out of the bathroom. Killua closed the faucet and Gon went back with Killua's clothes in a hand while the other was holding a revolver.

Formerly, he stood on guard near the bathroom door when Killua started drying himself and wearing his clothes back. "Wh-What's happening?" The albino wasn't sure if he should ask or not, but he managed to murmur in the form of a soft stutter right after he buckled his pants. All he was met by was a rigid shivering huff.

He frowned, curiosity getting ahead like it always does for any human. Killua wanted to know, so he decided to ask. Alas, time wasn't in his favor…

Suddenly, a creature broke the wooden door of the motel room, groaning and growling like a dead rotten piece of a legend. Killua's lips were parted and he was taken by the moment when the rotten creature appeared at the door of the bathroom and attacked the soldier who was on the lookout.

However, Gon was expecting some unwanted visitors, "KILLUA! It's no time for being shocked!!!! Stay away!" The albino was in a fatal shock, a part of the well-known shell shock.

Seeing something this horrific, attacking someone awfully near you is exceptionally frightening. Gon shot as fast as the creature hovered to bite Gon's head. It moaned, awakening Killua from his temporary shock. "Wh-Wh-Wh-What is that?!" He screamed, bumping into the sweaty shower wall after taking steps back from the struggling creature.

The shot hit his eye, yet he was still moving. His crystallized wide and white irises without any pupil inside were unnerving. Gon took slow steps backward, the revolver was still hoisted steadily and pointed at the terrifying creature before them.

Another thundering shot in the other eye, then another, then another, and finally the creature fell down. Gon stared down at him, heart throbbing in agony and a new fear that he hadn't developed before.

—The fear of killing the civilians who he always protected.

The creature shrieked as if he was a phone buzzing and vibrating. He was still alive, buzzing, and growling.

Gon clicked his tongue and hissed at the horrific scene before him before he clutched the frightened albino's hand and rushed out of the bathroom before the creature could regain his ability to walk on his depleted legs because of the bullets.

They were holding hands and running for their lives; Killua was hyperventilating and squeezing Gon's hand, seeking his protection.

Their feet thud vigorously on the motel's old ground and the two males sought the haven. Once they hit the gates, a sensation of chillness numbed Killua's wet head. His teeth clattered and breath hitched while Gon breathed and looked around the muddy and wet ground for any place or transportation to leave the place.

"Wh-What's ha-happening?" Killua asked again between pants, wiping his face from the sweat because of the combination between hot and cold.

"We are in a major problem, Killua." The soldier replied frustratedly. "We have to leave this place fast. I never knew it spreads this fast…"

"What's this? What was that? What's happening!? I'm so scared!" Killua's voice cracked at the realization and the bizarre emptiness of the streets.

They shouldn't stay here much longer. Gon tugged Killua's hand and started moving cautiously on the concrete road. The younger was shivering, teeth were still clattering from cold, and his wet hair wasn't much of a help either.

On the other hand, Gon's energy was radiating heat throughout his body. His consumed fear was a good source of energy as he learned to ignore it because of his military training. Secrets upon secrets were shared with him, and they were all treacherous and in need to hold a composure straight. Killua's cold hand was enough to alert the older of Killua's state, so he took off his jacket and handed it to Killua who stared at it then back at Gon.

"Hurry up, we have no time to waste." The younger nodded and accepted the generous present merrily. He put it on and clutched Gon's hand again, looking around him to spot at least one person in this chilling morning.

Cars were abandoned, houses' doors were opened, bags and papers were everywhere on the ground. Upon investigating and inspecting the scene in front of him, Killua noticed a truck, painted perfectly with military colors. He allowed himself to sneak a look at Gon's bright features when his eyes interlocked with the approaching truck. He was glad to see that truck, especially the number tagged on it.

"GON! HOLY SHIT, YOU ARE GOOD!" The driver yelled enthusiastically, slamming the door open and jumping towards his dude. They fist-bumped before murmuring slightly. The murmuring didn't last for half a minute as if talking about if it is okay to take Killua in with them. "Come on in, we need to move before we face a new obstacle. We were searching for you and investigated the area twice! There are citizens inside, better go there with the others and take care of them."

"Are you sure that no one is infected?" Gon asked concerningly.

"Yeah, we did a thorough check. But in case any turned, just shoot. There is a load of bullets inside as well."

"Ok, good."

Killua was dragged again towards the end of the truck. He was confused about the turning and everything he just heard; it made his anxiety break and give him a new best at shooting up.

Eventually, Gon knocked on the metallic doors of the truck and waited for a second straight for them to be wide open. "Gon! Come in, fast!"

Helping Killua up, he went behind him and participated in closing the doors again. They were finally in a safe place, but is it really safe? That is what Killua was contemplating.

The engine roared louder and the truck moved, disturbing the balance of the shocked Killua who limped and was ready to fall. However, he bumped into Gon's solid chest who wrapped his arms protectively around him. "Don't worry, you will be safe and we will relocate all of you to a safe place soon." The passive speakers heard what Gon said as his soft tune and reassuring words calmed their throbbing and tightening heart.

Whatever is happening to them at this moment is not a good thing. It's like hell has come down to earth.

On the contrary, Killua's cheeks blossomed as he stared at Gon who was still wrapping his arms around the fragile albino. They shared a connecting look before Gon led the shocked boy to the side of the truck to sit down along with other rescued civilians.

"Can someone explain to us what's happening here?!" One of the civilians spoke loudly. His irritated tone messed with everyone's eardrums as well as his fat belly and bushy eyebrows that messed with the eyes, not to mention the killing stench of people who never washed in like a week or even a month.

The raven-haired sat next to Killua, arms steadied on the knees and dangled inside the V-shape of his propped legs. He pierced his military look into the man who shut up and looked down in fear. "We are as confused as you, but don't worry. The base is trying to figure it out. What I know and that I can share is that we are under a crucial plague."

"So it is a disease?! My husband just turned into a monster! What disease is that?!" A woman wailed angrily, trying to show her pain of losing her loved one in front of her eyes. "He was bit by another feral creature and… and my husband tried biting me."

Civilians' eyes held worry as they stared at the shivering madame who was sniffling and covering her face. Gon sighed and looked down at his arms. This tragic secret weapon was supposed to affect the enemy, so why is it being used on them?

What mistake did they cover for?

Guilt manifested into Gon's veins. He never thought that protecting something this dangerous will lead to hurting his people, the ones he trained to defend due to his extreme patriotism.

His lack of savvy led him to protect the weapon that will destroy his lovely land and the whole world altogether.

Suddenly, a soothing hand followed by a warm voice awakened Gon from his dark and cold stance. "Um? Are you okay?" Gon turned to the source of this calming voice to find deep worried cerulean irises staring at him. "You suddenly went silent."

"I'm okay. Just thinking." With two little phrases, Gon cut the conversation short.

"A-At least can I know your name?"

"You don't remember anything from yesterday, even my name?"

Killua looked down guiltily, cheeks heating up again at the mention of the night before. "I-I was so drunk."

"Okay, my name's Gon."

Killua nodded and exhaled his nervousness before sitting on his knees, his fists curled up on his thigh and his eyes full of dedication that didn't quite suit his blushing face, but he looked cute to Gon who was eyeing him admirably. "Th-Thank you!"

Gon's lip twitched as he couldn't surpass his smirk from showing and painting his face into that smug look."For what?" Although he knew the answer, he just enjoyed the crimson color in the younger's pale cheeks. Messing with him is something that he knows that he will enjoy their whole encounter until they separate again.

"F-For not leaving me there… A-And… s-sorry for being a jerk."

"Apology accepted and don't thank a soldier for protecting his pedestrians." Killua sighed in relief once he took that out of his heart, but he couldn't sit back in peace because the truck suddenly juggled, throwing people on each other, and for Killua to land perfectly into Gon's lap.

"What's happening?!" Gon yelled in hopes for the driver to hear.

"A zombie!" And the latter… yelled.


	3. Inner Solidity

Ever heard of the noisy silence? It is when everything around you is silent, but your ears are screaming with a sound that is not even a sound. A roaring sound of the endless fear.

The fear of the apocalypse.

Uncertainty engulfed them like a rope tightening on a man's throat. It's suffocating, horrendous, and unbearable. The outcome of it is intolerable. The only way to get this pressure out is to cry. However, when trauma and pressure meet together, the only way out is death.

Some of the audience curled frightfully after the shocking news. There wasn't any time to think, not a millisecond. Tears were stuck in almost all of their eyes. Killua was clutching Gon's wrist, and Gon's throat went dry.

The one who yelled about the appearance of the defiled human was the driver. If he died or transformed, they will all face their doom. The tension was high, and the screaming silence was intensive. All eyes were piercing through the one who everyone thought of as the leader. Aka, Gon. It all happened during the part of the second where Gon sprinted forward after absorbing the terrific information. Sweat mixed with humidity and the stench of feet and dried blood played with everyone's nose, forcing the atmosphere to be too grim.

He reached the little rectangular cell-window of the driver, leaving Killua behind with the dull passengers who definitely lost the cause of humanity and sought survival even if it meant to be a pet for the 'new generation'. "Are you okay?! SWERVE!" Seeing the zombies lining in front of the truck, getting out of their buildings, Gon screamed. To the driver's shock, he swerved maniacally, crashing the side of the truck to hit all the zombies at once. Passengers wailed and were stacked over each other when Gon clutched the window to keep his balance.

"Gon! THE ROAD IS BLOCKED!" The driver alerted anxiously, and that feeling was mixed with drastic apprehension. It was only one mutilated person; how come they suddenly got stacked as if they were waiting for the truck?

"DON'T FRET! You swerved, go back to where we started!" Gon instructed, tightening his grip on the thin metallic lines of the minuscule window. His sweat was glimmering under the little lamp of the front seats.

"BUT—"

"JUST DO IT! THERE IS NO WAY WE CAN HIT THEM AND PASS!" Stating the obvious, Gon cut the driver off and reminded his friend in duty how hard and extremely weighted these creatures are.

"DON'T PASS THEM!" The extremely tan soldier who was protecting the passengers alongside Gon interrupted, "They are very strong! They will fuckin' break the truck!"

Gon nodded agreeably to the driver who was looking at Gon from the cell-window before escalating backward, escaping the limping creatures. The tension was tedious as the passengers were scared of moving a finger, nor returning to their places. Killua fell down on his side as well, propping himself up with his arm and stared at Gon expectantly.

The raven-haired eyed him knowingly under the juggling and vibrating of the roaring truck, his heart softening once their eyes met to melt in affection. He just pitied everyone in this truck, including Killua. He even pitied himself and every deformed human because of the war weapon. The truck flawlessly swerved and the driver escalated to the starting point.

While riding, little strands dangled out of Killua's hair, covering one of his eyes as his tufts got messier, but he never took his eyes off Gon. The truck was escalating at a high speed, but the road was straight, so Gon was able to walk forward and crouch down next to Killua. "I said it and I will say it again. All of you are protected, so you don't have to fear anything." Gon said in a hushed calming tone, specifying Killua out of everyone else after inspecting the hidden fear into his deep sapphire orbs. "I want you to be strong, kid."

Killua's cheeks reddened when the one he hooked up with just called him a kid. He didn't say anything because he couldn't. His tongue was tied, so he only listened. The other passengers returned to their spots, either hugging their children or hugging themselves and crying.

"You have to know that from now on, you have…" Gon trailed off slightly, taking a breather before looking back at Killua's cold gaze, "You have to kill to live…" he mumbled, eyeing Killua pitifully whose lip trembled.

Killua only stared, face as pale as ever. He stared, and sadness was the only emotion that was perfectly shown in his sapphire orbs, which glistened purely under Gon's heavy-with-guilt stare.

Once he didn't get any other reaction, Gon helped the thin albino up and led him back to an empty place to sit. His hair was still wet, so Gon went to his friend while trying to keep his balance, to have one of the spare towels. "We don't need anyone to get sick… his hair is wet." He pointed at Killua who was hugging himself and nuzzling into Gon's jacket, shivering.

"Sure, Gon. I will give you one. But what about you? You are in only a shirt, not even long-sleeved." Caleb, the tan soldier, said after handing a cheese sandwich to a little boy.

"We, soldiers, are trained for this. Remember, Caleb?"

Caleb sighed and nodded before shuffling into the emergency supplies. He took out a tiny towel, then threw it to Gon who snatched it with ease.

The raven-haired didn't waste any time as he headed towards the shivering Killua and gently threw the towel over his head. On the contrary, this move alerted the albino who was still scared of everything he was going through, so he looked up at Gon, one of his eyes was covered by the towel. His cute-ish and confused face let a blush slip into the strict face of the soldier who pointed at the jacket Killua was wearing and where he had droplets of water on his shoulder. "Your hair is dripping, dry it off. I don't want you to get sick."

He didn't wait for a reply, so he left back to guide the driver on a secret route. It wasn't a secret; it's just not too known for outsiders in this neighborhood. 

"Ray, stay driving until you see a tight corner on your right."

The red-headed driver didn't even nod. He was facing a lot of tension for one day after seeing the virus in its true form. "Gon…"

"Yea."

"What's this?" His voice trembled, little of his red hair was shown under the cap of his military outfit while his knuckles turned white. He was pressing his palms on the driving wheel as if it would get loose. The unholy question was asked by everyone, but little did they know about the truth.

"Although we didn't know about how dangerous this was, we had a hand of protecting it." The hazel-eyed soldier, Gon, muttered to his driver and didn't make anything better. The one driving bit his lower lip to ease his guilt and fear. "All we have to do now is resign to our duty."

Ray finally nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling. His eyes weren't leaving the road before him.

"We have to protect and rescue everyone alive. We have to get them to safety even if this costs us to shed our own blood." Gon guided merrily.

Finally spotting the right corner, Ray drove to the right but hit the brakes to scare the passengers all over again. "What's wrong?!" Gon yelled but noticed Ray's stabilized expression.

"Look."

One word was enough for Gon to try looking at the front view despite the little access between the metallic lines that were blocking the window. He couldn't help but let out an audible yet a silent gasp. A pregnant woman was attacked by three deformed humans.

"I'm going." Gon didn't hesitate to go towards the weapons in the truck despite the yells of Ray. 

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU CAN'T! THEIR POWER IS INHUMANE! GON!"

Gon took the rifle and a small-sized box of bullets for the hunting rifle before eyeing Caleb who was sweating. The people around them were shockingly silent as their man who protects them will come out and protect one of them.

"Caleb…" Gon pointed at Killua, but his eyes were fixated at his friend. "He's my responsibility. I got him into all of this, so if I didn't come back, take care of him." 

Caleb nodded firmly and Killua just stared fearfully. The hazel-eyed was heading towards the giant doors while instructing Ray the latter, "DRIVE AWAY IF YOU SEE ME FAILING!" And with that, he opened the door, adjusted the rifle, and jumped out of the truck.

His tanner friend, Caleb, rushed to lock the doors again when Killua stood up and stared with a pale face at where the recently acquainted-with-soldier vanished. The towel fell on his shoulders as he stared at the rustic doors of the military truck.

This truck they were riding in was the type to transport military resources. It was always prepared and ready for any transporting in case the country faced any type of war.

"You're leaving him there? Alone? HE'S FIGHTING ALONE???" Killua's shuddering voice ran through the metallic walls delinquently, accusing the soldier who left his friend in the front lines, all injured and lonely while facing danger bravely without any backup. Gon wasn't injured, but loneliness can be an injury for soldiers during the war.

Caleb turned sternly at Killua who was breathing hard. "I think you barely know Gon. He won't be killed because of a fuckin' retard creature. That's all I can tell you." He rubbed his buzzed brunette hair, staring away because he couldn't handle Killua's menacing glare. The silver-haired was gritting his teeth vociferously. 

He shivered and ran towards the little window, digging his fingers between the slots while trying to look at the fight. He was wishing what Caleb had said is true, and he prayed for it to be true.

Gon rushed to the front of the truck and crouched on a knee. "FUCKERS! I'M HERE!" Attracting the attention of the creatures, they turned towards Gon who already adjusted his rifle and was ready to shoot.

Aligning to R, Ray reversed backward, so their truck won't be affected.

One-click was fired, piercing through the creature's head. He growled while the other two were limping towards him at a decent pace. Gon thought that he got rid of one, but he was surprised that the leaning creature who was shot continued to move while his head hung on his back with a broken neck. "They don't fucken die?!" Gon murmured shockingly.

He reloaded his gun and shot the nearest one, but the same thing happened and the second-shot creature continued his way towards Gon.

Caleb, Killua, and Ray were looking anxiously at the fight before the truck. Killua was vibrating anxiously because he couldn't just stand and watch when terrible thoughts of seeing a person defending him are getting torn to shreds.

His life is as important as everyone in the truck. Realizing this truth, Killua backed out of the window silently and turned towards the door. Once he was ready to run, a hand clenched his wrist and threw him back to fall under the small window. Killua squeaked and winced at the action before looking at Caleb's dangerous glare.

"Where are you going?"

"Doing what is supposed to be YOUR duty." Killua hissed angrily, intimidating the soldier before him.

Caleb's eyes squinted, then he crouched down, menacingly glaring at the rebellious albino, "Don't cause trouble, kid." Caleb reached his hand to grasp Killua's cheeks and jaw, making a scary atmosphere out of his threatening, "My job is to protect everyone here. Gon said that you're someone special, so stay still or I'm forcing you to."

Killua pursed his lips and tightened his fists on the metallic ground of the truck. Suddenly, both of them heard a scream, and Killua's eyes widened.

He didn't want to know to whom this scream belonged as he stood up and ran, pushing Caleb aside, then pushing the doors open before jumping empty-handed.

His heart was hammering as he heard another groan. He continued running to be followed by Caleb who also jumped off to catch Killua.

After reaching the front of the truck, both of them saw Gon and a creature just mere inches away. One creature was crawling on his arms as both of his legs were shot while the other was limping on one leg with a broken neck and head falling on his back.

Killua shivered but his attention was attached to the nearest healthy creature that was dangerously near Gon and ready to bite him out.

He saw Gon's rifle away and Gon was defenseless. Caleb pointed his gun at the deformed human and shot, but it sounded as if it's a bug bite to the creature who continued going towards Gon.

Killua started looking around for anything to help when Gon was yelling for them to go back to the truck.

Caleb wasn't ready to leave neither Gon nor Killua around, especially when both of them were defenseless.

Killua ran and grabbed the rifle, ignoring Gon's pleas to stay away because all the creatures are still alive and dangerous. Killua's eyes turned to the pregnant lady who was unconscious on the ground, then he pointed the rifle towards the zombie coming for Gon.

It was almost too near as the creature raised his hand to claw Gon's face. Caleb shot maniacally to no avail, screaming for Gon to run while the zombie crawling on both hands was coming to Killua but was too slow. Killua clicked his tongue and surrendered; shooting is not effective, and it only slows down the creature.

He switched holding the rifle to grab it from its muzzle, pointing the butt and the stock of it to the front instead, which means he was holding it the reversed way. He didn't waste any time, startling Caleb when he saw him running towards the zombie and hitting him with the Stock directly on his neck. "DIE!"

Gon was speechless, seeing the fragile albino hitting the head of the zombie by the stock of the rifle. He hit and hit and hit, but that didn't kill it.

At least it slowed the reaction of the zombie who growled threateningly. Gon took the chance to kick the jaw of the creature with his boots. His growls became boisterous. And once he raised his arm to attach it into Gon's flesh, Caleb shot it, deforming the palm even more.

The raven-haired soldier jumped out of the way and was free to climb back into the truck, but his eyes spotted the brave albino who was looking at the pregnant lady. "Forget it! She's probably bitten!" Gon yelled, grasping Killua's wrist, but the latter refused to budge.

"IT IS A PROBABILITY! SHE MAY BE ALIVE!"

Gon clicked his tongue and stared at the three zombies. As if they were trapped in the Bermuda Triangle, Gon decided to break the invasion by running straight.

Killua's eyes lightened up when Gon decided to rescue the lady and was ready to follow. Alas, Caleb cut his plans short and carried him on his shoulder before running towards the truck. "LET ME DOWN!" Killua thumped on the man's back, but Caleb was way too furious to let it go.

"SHUT UP! YOU TROUBLEMAKER!"

"I RESCUED YOUR ASSES, BITCH!"

Successfully going back to the track and knocking Killua out cold, the albino collapsed with one professional hit in his neck. Gon kicked the nearby zombie and winced at how hard it was before approaching the truck, the lady in hand. 

"DRIVE!" Receiving Gon's order, Ray escalated fast, avoiding the zombies as if riding by his heartbeats.

Settling down while panting, Gon rested down next to the pregnant lady whose belly was swollen and glanced at Killua whose head was resting on the wall, still catching his breath.

Caleb was looking between the two while bending down and panting. The two of them had a weird bonding, something more than being acquaintances, but he couldn't identify it. And Killua wasn't the type that Gon would like to hang out around, especially that he doesn't meet their age requirement.

The people around were looking at the trio astonishingly. They were the heroes saving that woman and her baby. "Killua…" The sexy tone that silenced the thoughts of everyone sputtered. The mentioned person turned to the calling soldier, raising an eyebrow in advance. "Thank you."

Once Gon showed his gratefulness to the albino, little pinkish hue painted the pale canvas-like cheeks, making it bloom under the destructive weather of depressed people.

It gave a little positivity to the atmosphere that warmed several hearts at Killua's innocent expression. He didn't call him a kid, nor said any other humiliating name. 

Just Killua.


	4. Off to a New Reality

The rain rattled on the military truck softly—tunefully pattering while the truck moved steadily towards the haven. The street was empty akin to a haunted city, and the buildings were abandoned as if it was bombed horrendously. No sign of any life— not a single infected human. The dirt of the street is puddled by the winter's tears and the damp, chilly air chilling the spines of the survivors. The wheels reverberated, passing by the still buildings. Ray, the redheaded, drove consecutively. The engine roared smoothly, and the wheels rolled recurrently.

After the dreadful fight towards redemption, the trio rested next to the unconscious lady. Gon sat up, inspecting her next to him. He was making sure that she was not infected.

Eyes touring every strand of her hair till her pointy nose, touring her wet black eyelashes and lithe cheeks, which to his dismay were smooth and clean though a tiny puddle of dirt rested on her chin. Hardly investigating the spot, he stopped being a creep once he wiped it off and scoured it between his fingers— convinced that it's only mud and nothing petrifying.

His careful pupils trudged down towards her neck (scrutinizing for bites), breasts (visually measuring the heart rate), and belly. Her violet dress was soaked because of rain, and her long black hair was stilled like wires. He analyzed the legs under the watchful eyes of Killua, who was trying to develop a concept about the new reality.

"So?" The extremely tan soldier butted in, eyeing the hazel-eyed with a concerned look. He squatted down, arms resting on each thigh and inquiring about Gon's detailed report.

"She's fine. I can't see any bite, blood, or any suspicious liquid on her skin." Gon reported, breaking the contact with his friend to look down at the breathing lady— chest rising and falling calmly.

"That's great," Caleb mumbled, kneading his chin thoughtfully. His consistent breaths calmed Killua down, who was taking the scene all in. The former retreated after, checking up on civilians when he knew that a child was squirming because of his need to pee. Descending to years behind reality, it felt as if the world was going backward. No more electricity as everyone assumed, no more hot electronic baths and water, and no more internet and online gaming— reality seeped into the brains of the survivors deliberately, smoothing the minds like a sheet of blankness.

"We are going back to the medieval era, Caleb." Gon said sarcastically all of a sudden, implying his motives, but passing them to his friend-in-duty. He ruffled his hair and trudged away from the unconscious lady, who's been unconscious for several solid minutes.

"Yeah…" replied Caleb, who let out a weary sigh while grabbing a pot and pointing at it. He stared at the confused boy, who was expecting to go to the bathroom. "Here's your little toilet."

Gon snickered lightly, passing by and leaning towards the window. "Tired?" He muttered knowingly to his other co-soldier, whose arms were jittering before the driving wheel.

"Just unnerved." Mumbled Ray, and sighed. He was exhausted; his droopy eyes barely saw the road before him. Gon was ready to switch, but a hand clutched his wrist and silenced him. He looked towards the warm pale hand that grazed his skin perfectly and left hot traces, urging the soldier to take a look back at its owner.

"You're injured." Killua faltered, eyeing the little injury on the soldier's bare forearm once he rotated the inspected arm.

"Oh, that. Don't worry. When the infected person swung his heavy arm on me, I defended myself with the rifle. That thing was so strong," Gon sighed and leaned on the metallic wall, fully turning towards Killua and resuming. "After the contact, my rifle was tossed away, and I fell. I hit my arm with the defense of the truck."

Caleb's ears pried into the conversation since he was making sure that Gon won't be a sudden danger to them. If that hit was due to a zombie clawing him, then they would have another talk. "Gon, disinfect it." Butting in, Caleb interrupted.

"I was going to tell him that!" Killua scoffed, "You lazy soldier," he muttered, intimidating the brunette who just ignored.

Taking Gon by the arm, Killua forced him to sit down. He turned questionably, ready to ask about a disinfector and some bandages. Before he could mutter anything, Caleb was already ready for them. He was going to bandage Gon's arm himself since he wasn't thoroughly convinced by Killua's ability to do such a thing. Nonetheless, Killua chewed his inner cheek at the challenge the brunette was giving him. Snapping like an arrow, he hurried towards his prey and yanked the medical kit from his hands.

Both the soldiers eyed Killua concerningly, "What now?" Asked Caleb. He rolled his eyes, too fed up with Killua being like a stick in his ass. Gon was staring between the two and smiling. He could recall the first day he met with Caleb.

Challenging sparks intensified whenever they were in the same area, eyeing each other mercilessly. They started off by being enemies, more likely rude acquaintances. Caleb was a good challenge to Gon, who lived on an island his whole childhood and teenhood. That's why— that's why Caleb always set him off. Gon was the best when it comes to strength and physical military training in general. However, after the sudden appearance of Caleb, someone was able to put up with him. Hell. He even beat Gon.

"Listen, you hoe, you barely are able to do your duty right. Leave patching the shit out of these people for me." Killua challenged, disrespecting the outfit the brunette was wearing, and looking down at him as if he's just a bug to him.

"What—" confusedly cut by Killua's scoff, Caleb only stared at Killua who inspected Gon's injury. It wasn't anything big— not anything that Killua cannot handle. 

"Now leave the professionals for their work and go fix yourself some vitamins and materials, so you can stop cowering when a retarded, sick human comes your way. Maybe it will help your adrenaline and jittery legs." Sitting on their knees (Caleb and Killua), Killua took a thread from the kit to thread Gon's injury. The former was highly confused by Killua's retort. No one ever said that to Caleb; he is the shiny, strong, mighty Caleb. 

"You? Professional?" Standing on his feet, the brunette scoffed, rolling his eyes harshly at Killua.

"What? Now you want to be a narcissist? You really think that you are the only one who can do things?" Busy with cleaning Gon's injury, Killua retorted back. Little hisses escaped Gon's lips, however, Killua did look experienced.

Caleb opened his mouth for another flying retort, but he closed it again when nothing came out. He only cares about Gon's well-being. And he doesn't want Killua to hurt him because he just wanted to be like a hero. Alas, Caleb knows what Killua meant. He was really cowering when he let Gon fight the three infected people right there, completely relying on him as if he's a Disney character like Superman or Spiderman. He wanted to believe that Gon is one in that stance.

Caleb wasn't ready to hit the civilians of his country. He wasn't ready to kill. Their country is strong, so they've never encountered a serious war. It is unfortunate that their first kill will be the civilians they protected for years. He looked away shamefully, allowing the win to be claimed by the silver-haired, who was focusing on bandaging the fully cleansed injury. Gon's arm was steadily disinfected and neatly wrapped in the bandages. 

Smiling curtly, Gon's eyes interlocked with Killua's, "Thank you." Expecting to see a blush, Gon waited patiently and eyed the changes of Killua's pale cheeks.

"D-Don't mention it." The albino turned away, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes coyly. He wanted to do something for Gon who didn't leave him there to be attacked by that scary human. "It's a thank you for taking me with you."

"Told you, it is my duty." Smiling politely to each other, Killua stood up to hand the kit to Caleb, the one who's been silent for way too long. Killua apologetically eyed him, drawing the kit closer. "Sorry." Muttered the albino and clutched the kit harder, chewing his lip at Caleb's torn and ashamed gaze. "I'm majoring in medical studies." He clarified, shrugging awkwardly, then drawing the kit closer to Caleb who finally accepted it.

"Should've clarified that sooner," Caleb mumbled and shrugged too. He took the offered kit from Killua to return it to its place, leaving the albino alone —not quite considering the survivors next to them— with Gon.

Once rested and calm, Gon turned to Killua who directly looked away, blushing madly after being caught staring. He heard a hefty snort from Gon, visibly imagining him shake his head. "Be easy on Caleb. I see how hyped you are to help us in this crisis. But, Caleb isn't your enemy." Saying this statement himself is unbelievable.

Gon reached a state where he started to hate Caleb. The man was intimidating, triggering Gon on everything. He couldn't help but shake his head at the memory when they turned to frenemies. 

A saying worked on them, and it says: your enemy's enemy is your friend. Caleb and Gon shared one— a little racist. Both of them came from a tropical island, similar and sharing the dark skin tone. Gon's was lighter, but the racist himself wasn't stable. He was a racist on basically everything. Nonetheless, he had some powerful backup. His dad was a sergeant, so no one dared to talk to him.

Gon despised Caleb because he was excelling—more than him at least. It wasn't a great reason to hate someone, but he was naïve, that's that. Amongst all the pros and cons, Gon admired Caleb even though he was shattering his pride in being the best in everything that was considered direct attacking, specifically. 

At a time, the racist actually tried humiliating Caleb. For some reason, Gon disliked it. Not only because it is racism. It was the first time Caleb let loose and lost a spar. As if it was the best chance to strike, the racist actually hammered his insults down. He mocked literally every strand of Caleb's appearance and personality.

Although he didn't look fazed, Caleb's eyes were emotional, which was controversial. Caleb never allowed his emotions to pillage into his eyes; he believed in the eye-language. A lot of people can understand you just by looking at your eyes, so he trained himself to be still for war purposes.

Gon disliked it. Caleb, who beat him in everything, was humiliated because that certain soldier can't even rise to his level, so he dared Caleb to stoop down to his. It was the hour of collaborating, to teach that soldier a lesson.

Killua pouted, staring at Gon's fading discipline. "He has an impact on you or something?" Killua inquired at the fast forgotten conversation. Gon only hummed, sinking in the sea of memories.

"He's an idol to me." Killua only hummed in return, resting next to Gon, who was resting his head on the wall. 

Another hour passed, Ray was getting tired, so he switched places with Caleb, who continued the path towards the neighboring city. All of them were hoping that the nearby city would be safer. 

Nonetheless, there is something weird going into this city. _Where is everyone though?_ Gon thought. He clutched his hands together and squeezed, focusing his pupils on his scarred fingers and thinking intently.

Killua was fast asleep on his shoulder, which warmed his heart. Besides, he was worried about the disappearance of the infected creatures. His eyes stared at Ray's back, piercing into the sleeping soldier and biting his lower lip. If what he thinks is true, then they might be greeted with the infected creatures of the city all at once.

They've been riding for an hour and a half if Gon's mental calculation is correct, which probably isn't, and since Caleb dominated the wheel, it's been around half an hour. Knowing that it is known by now, the storm nearly died down. Only light rain ticked on the truck and the view wasn't foggy anymore.

He laid Killua on the ground quietly and walked towards the cell window. "Caleb, let's take a rest." 

His co-soldier communicated by raising an eyebrow. Both of them know if they stopped driving now, they might face unseen danger; they can't risk it.

"Please… There is something bugging me, and we have to talk about it before we drive to the unknown." Gon mumbled, but the attention was already drawn to him. Caleb parked on the side of the street without muttering any word, while Gon awakened his redheaded co-soldier. They have to discuss a plan because going to the unknown could be a lot more dangerous than they have expected. All of them had seen how the virus was widely spread, and because of this, they have to understand and take precautions over the roads they will take.

Forming a little circle, the three soldiers sat cross-legged, eyeing each other and waiting for Gon to start. The civilians were listening and staring, trying to comprehend the situation more clearly. "We need a map." The hazel-eyed muttered, rushing to the materials they stocked ahead of time and taking out a brand new map. Caleb was waiting patiently, an arm rested on his thigh and the other propped his body on the ground. "Here," Gon spread the map, searching for their location. 

Ray tried to shake the sleepiness away, so he can focus on the strategy they will be plotting. "Okay?" Once Gon pointed at their location, Caleb questioned. 

"We are here, in this specific neighborhood, next to a fucking bar. And there is not even a single infected person." Going straight to the point, Gon demonstrated. "This area is supposed to be crowded. However, we only encountered a few."

Caleb kneaded the short facial hair on his chin thoughtfully while Ray stared blankly at the map with lips parted confusedly. Gon was eyeing the two with a frown, brows knitted anxiously as he tried deciphering the odd situation they are in.

"It means something. Infected people whose brain is infectious can't think. They are brain dead, working based on the virus who is basically a laboratory bacteria— made up to be a weapon. That means those people are already dead."

Caleb pursed his lips, looking down at the map and all the illustrated buildings around the road they were in. Ray's heart was beating, considering the fact that he's the most cowardly between the three of them. He kind of analyzed Gon's words to find the solution even before Gon's ability to spit the conflict out.

"I want to ask." Started Gon again. "Yesterday, I… I was busy. So, I didn't get the chance to watch the news or any of that shit. Did the government announce anything about the infection?" Gon asked carefully.

"Yeah! Reporters went live over the first few infected civilians. The live recording didn't last for long and it was cut midways." Ray interrupted, "The recording was aired early this morning."

Gon hummed and was ready to talk again when civilians started murmuring, agreeing that they watched the news and some of them were already frightened. Gon was listening to them, as he developed a conclusion that most of them didn't leave their houses as early as the news was aired since half of them didn't believe in such news. 

"This explains my theory," Finalized Gon, ready to explain his theory to his co-soldiers. "Since the news was aired, civilians went into a state of panic. Plagued are very common recently, however, this one is kind of unique and unusual. If some picture or video clips were attached to the live report, then it might have increased the panicking state of the civilians."

"Your point?" Caleb asked, and Gon rolled his eyes. Caleb's not functioning lately.

"So, you mean that they might have run away to the next city…" Ray concluded and nodded. 

"Civilians traffic. We have to avoid that as much as possible."

"Crowd… probably everyone on the borders of the next city is infected by now…" Caleb muttered, clapping his hands angrily. "How the fuck we didn't think about that? The road towards the next city is probably closed by now." He complained, looking at Gon for any solution or backup plan.

"Let's take the mountain's route. It's not far away from here." Suggested Ray, staring at the map and pointing towards the road leading to the third city. "Passing two cities away from the infected city is safer than going to the neighboring one. The virus is really strong and is spreading very fast."

"I agree. The mountain highway road." Gon turned to Caleb and instructed, so the tanner nodded firmly and jogged back towards the wheel. "We also have to get a lunch break."

"Leave the lunch break until we reach the mountain!" Caleb yelled, putting the seat belt on, and revving the engine. 

"Yeah! But let's break into a supermarket or something, we need food fuel!" Gon yelled back, hearing a faint got it while Ray crawled back under a used beige blanket to sleep again.

The silence around them was screaming danger. The Christmas song of the year is 'death'. Everyone expected to see the first snow this year huddled up with their families, or even partying with friends. No one expected that they would celebrate Christmas with dead moving bodies. The dead bodies of their husbands, wives, moms, and dads— even children.

The sun moved stealthily down— even its existence wasn't as bright as it used to be. Whether it is because of winter, or because of the apocalypse, the sun was afraid of disturbing the survivors and their shattered thoughts.

On the right, a woman crying over her infected husband who tried attacking her— she wished that she wasn't a coward. Maybe she was with him in a green meadow away from this hell. And on the left, a man who lost his purpose of life long ago, seeing new light in this apocalypse. Maybe after this, he will find a job? If he stayed alive, that is.

Pessimism finally strangled optimism, slaughtering it away from this specific city. Heaven is waiting away— maybe they can finally build a new life somewhere else?

But, what if the whole world is now infected? It is impossible. The virus shouldn't be this strong.

Suddenly, a person whimpered, groaned, and shuffled. Gon's eyes pierced directly into the action, spotting the pregnant lady stir into her sleep. He walked cautiously, holding a pistol he yanked from the weapons' box and pointing it towards her head. 

She bestirred her eyelids open, looking at the dark ceiling of the truck. She sensed movement although she was lying down. Gon's arms were pointedly stiff towards her, eyes glimmering like a predator who was ready to shoot. She turned around, spotting the threateningly close hole of the pistol before her eyes widened in fear.

Her humanistic reaction calmed the atmosphere, relaxing the soldier who finally got his position down. He curtly nodded, allowing the lady, who's now sitting, to take a look around.

Her swollen belly was inched forward— probably in her fifth month or so. "Don't worry, you are safe now." Reassured Gon, taking steps away and back to where he was sitting. 

"Where am I?" She inquired, looking at Gon pleadingly.

"In the middle of an apocalypse." Is all Gon said when they stared into each other's eyes knowingly. He didn't have to explain further, considering the fact that the woman was already attacked and rescued.


	5. Deeper into the Unknown

The daylight had dwindled to a barely perceptible lightening of the gloom. The sun deflected deliberately into the sky, flying in the air freely and witnessing the apocalypse underneath. It was saying goodbye for the survivors, afraid to come back the next morning. Concealing themselves into the truck of iron in what could be any part of the labyrinth, the sun outside shrank, retreating behind the shabby, industrial buildings; it left the shadows as remains before it completely demolished. 

Dusk, for the first time, was an allusion, declaring the beginning of the spooky night. It was warning the survivors from the mysteries of the night as if they are in a game and ready to undergo the process of a blackout. 

The familiar truck rested beside the passers' road, waiting for its passengers to get out for shopping—a sneaky kind of shopping. They formed a circle inside, soldiers, looking at each other knowingly. "Let's get what we need and get out of here as fast as possible." Gon rambled, looking straight into his co-soldiers' eyes. Sweat slid down Gon’s forehead, glimmering at the seeping light of the cell-window.

"How much time do we have?" Asked Ray although he is the one who should be calculating their moves. In an apocalypse, it can be hard to get things right because survival chances can vary each minute…

Their lives shouldn't be depending on calculation only. Sometimes they should risk it, going crazy as if screaming out their pent-up sentiments. "We have to be out of the city and on the mountain road before it's night time… We can't risk facing one of them at night," Caleb replied, rushing towards the door of the truck and eyeing everyone inside. "Hey, are all of you expecting to sit there without helping us?" 

The survivors looked at each other worriedly, then stared at Caleb again. As expected, excuses hammered down, and Gon ignored almost all of them; it was getting noisier with each excuse coming out. He wanted to be done with this mission instead of wasting the time on bickering. As he trudged by Caleb, he spotted a pale young male stretching; Killua was hoisting his arm high, tightly gripping it by the other to do some wild stretches— Muscles should be stretched out before action. On the contrary, Gon pushed the doors slightly for a sneak-peek. "It's safe, for now."

Killua and Ray joined next to the doors, eyes blazing and the body's warmed up for such a fast and heavy activity. Some men already got up to join in addition to a few brave women. Caleb wasn't pleased with the people sitting down as if they aren't a part of this group and waiting to be fed like pets instead of working to gain. Suddenly, and before Caleb can start a fight, Gon blurted, "I thank everyone who is ready to jump in hell with us to provide supplies for our long trip, thank you. Nonetheless, for everyone who's not willing to help, it's fine. Your call. But, you're not having lunch, nor supper today— excluding children, old people, and moms."

He waited for a second for his words to sink in when Killua turned around to inspect the effect of Gon's harsh words. He didn't wait for the full effect to take in, so Gon jumped off, followed by Caleb and Ray. Killua soon followed, which motivated other survivors to jump off as well, trying to rescue their meals for the day.

One after the other, triples after the others, groups, and groups; every capable person was out of the truck, leaving the moms, elders, children, and the pregnant lady all alone. It was a fast go off, so nothing should happen to them in the meantime.

"Get everything you think is useful for a trip without gas and grilling! Such as canned food! Don't hesitate to bring marshmallows and any kind of food that can be grilled on fire pits! Move on!" Gon instructed, getting inside the supermarket, the rifle hung on his back.

Shadows of the dusk painted the place in gold. Glass was shattered everywhere as they got further and further away from small neighborhoods to the larger city. He inspected the place carefully with his co-soldiers, raising a silencing hand to the whole team. The survivors who were rescued weren't a lot, but they must be effective…

Silent steps went inside the shattered door of the market. Their boots faintly thrashed and crushed the glass underneath. Gon's rifle was hoisted in the air steadily, as he looked around like an eagle. His sharp hearing was listening to beyond the voices as silence started doing the waves of weird unnatural voices. He turned his tense neck to the other side, survivors and his coworkers were looking around behind him as fear was devouring them like a tasty meal. 

Once Gon made sure that the place was safe and clear, he motioned with his hand for everyone to flood it. They took Gon's sign directly and jogged, snuck, and trotted around the wide supermarket. Gon walked around, still inspecting the narrow areas thoroughly. He was walking inaudibly, staring at the aisles and avoiding the fallen snacks. The place looked damaged by an earthquake, but Gon deeply knows the reason why. Going further towards the bustling city indicated how dangerous the situation had become. He looked up at the hung sign of the section he was in, noting that he’s in the meat section. Protein is important; they need it if they want to survive the deadly apocalypse, and who knows when they will be able to crossroads with another safe supermarket? He investigated around, ignoring the gushing pants and seeping fear that was coming from the hesitant survivors. They were taking Gon as cover since he proved himself as the strongest among the soldiers— filling the baskets with meat, a fat man yelled at them to get stored meat instead. 

“Bitches! Stored meat can last longer! Stop filling the baskets with shit that won’t last for a day!” Gon turned towards him, eyes glimmering angrily at his snarky tone. He didn’t care about what all of them wanted to fill their baskets with, but they shouldn’t yell in an abandoned place like that. The man wisely shut up, staring at Gon while putting his hands on his mouth. He bowed down before trotting away. 

On the contrary, Killua sprinted towards the fridges holding an empty basket. He filled it with beverages as liquids are the most important throughout the whole process. He stashed the beverages into the basket, noticing unboxed ones over the fridges. He knew that gaseous drinks aren’t going to help everyone that much, so he chose juice and every bottle of water he could find; that’s why he needed the unboxed beverages that were stored high over the fridges. Thus, he rested the basket down and looked around for a ladder or anything to reach out. However, there wasn’t anything helpful amongst the mess. Killua tried and scrutinized left and right for someone’s help, which caught the attention of a nearby soldier. "Want some help?" Caleb suddenly passed by, holding giant unboxed chips and other snacks. Killua’s helpless situation and his need for someone tall made the boy scoff at the mocking gaze of Caleb, who was waiting for something to mock Killua with; Caleb isn’t a bad guy, he just holds small grudges. 

"I can do it alone," The beautifully dangerous albino mumbled once his cheeks reddened from the mockery of the person before him. He tried to reach the box above alone once the request was denied. Alas, he wasn't tall enough nor Caleb was. 

"Don't be like that. We need to be fast, and help is important to finish up tasks like these." Caleb reasoned and Killua was defeated; both of them knew that fights can be skipped for another time, and they have to combine their work to achieve a faster result. That’s why Killua snuck a guilty look at Caleb before nodding, so the latter bent down for Killua to climb on his shoulders before standing up again and walking closer to the fridge.

Killua adjusted his sitting position, and his hands rested on Caleb’s buzzed head. The soldier didn’t object and waited for Killua to pick up the wriggling box safely. Once it rested into his arms, another survivor tagged along to take the boxes from Killua —one by one— before Caleb set him down on the floor. "Thanks." Mumbled Killua, which earned him a nod from Caleb, who busied himself with the box of snacks.

Separating ways again, Killua jogged towards the truck to put what he gathered and to go back inside. The process took longer than it should take, but everyone was filling the truck with supplies. Gon's patrol didn't go smoothly as he expected, nonetheless.

He found a human, half-eaten flesh, laying on the ground. He stared shockingly at the woman, whose stomach was wide open, intestines peeking out, and face wholly distorted. "What—" He wasn't able to continue.

She was still, not moving, but once Gon said something, a little growl escaped her non-existent lips. The gum of her teeth was showing as Gon straightened his rifle, taking steps back. He was in the grains section, where no survivor came to yet. Only the possible solution to this outcome was the possibility of the infectious disease spreading between the customers. Chaos was followed, hurting this lady like everyone else, however, she was completely wounded, which is a probability of multiple attacks at once. She turned, but she couldn’t move to leave with the others on a trip of turning humans too. 

Suddenly, her shoulder moved up as if she was trying to get herself up. Then, her other shoulder moved up-down; she was entirely abused by the zombies. Gon's steps went rigid as he turned his previous way, jogging professionally with the rifle to yell, "RETREAT!" 

Noticing Gon's nervousness, everyone scattered outside with what they have, leaving the infected woman into the market, trying to get up for a chase. Caleb jumped into his seat, waiting for everyone to get in and listening to the doors close shut, he revved the truck like a motorcycle and accelerated.

Upon taking their breath, Gon was looking around in case they missed someone there. His first person in mind was the white-haired, but the young adult was there safely, a hand on his heart. He was gathering his breaths and wiping the sweat off his face. Ray helped him to count the survivors again, and everyone was safely placed in the truck.

"What did you see there?" Asked Ray.

"A woman. She was half-eaten. I thought she was dead until she started growling." Explained Gon, resting his head on the metallic wall.

"Holy crap." Replied Ray, wiping his face and feeling the shivers throughout his body. It was like a jumpscare, and everyone's heart was beating rhythmically. 

"This indicated that there are infected people somewhere around. DID YOU HEAR ME CALEB?"

"YEAH. Let's head to the mountain road THIS INSTANT."

Replying to each other, Caleb and Gon, Killua busied himself with inspecting the hyperventilation of the pregnant lady. He is a medical student at one of the best universities ever found.

It wouldn't be hard to notice the inconsistent situation of someone too close to him. He stood up and walked towards her, crouching down to her level as she turned to him questioningly; she wasn't able to open her eyes as wide as a normal human. "Are you alright? You're sweating profusely." Killua asked, shivering a little at his anus from a previous encounter and since he crouched down.

He ignored it, however, it was too hard to focus on the pregnant lady now. "Y-Yeah. I… I feel cold."

Gon joined the scene and crouched down, staring at the lady concerningly. "What's wrong?" He asked while rubbing his bandaged arm absent-mindedly, and Killua just shook his head.

"I guess she caught a cold." Assumed Killua, who stared worriedly at her swollen belly.

"Are you sure she is not infected?" Asked Gon, eyes glimmering mischievously at Killua who frowned and ignored Gon's piercing gaze.

"I don't know the symptoms of this plague since a certain soldier isn't telling us about it," Killua said, taking the hand of the lady to measure her heartbeats. 

Gon waited patiently, impressed by Killua's experience until the pale boy sighed and opened his eyelids slowly. "Her heartbeats are slower than it should be for a pregger."

"Oh?"

"We have to make a warm meal for her and some tea— that would combat her cold."

"Alright. We will take a break once we reach the mountain. Once we make sure it is safe enough, we will light a fire and make lunch for everyone." Reassured Gon before standing up and looking at everyone, "Does anyone know how to cook? I can, but I'm not very skilled at it though. We need someone who can cook with the right amount or some shit."

Several survivors raised their hands, so Gon smiled gratefully before staring at Killua, the one who just disappeared and was away next to the supplies, rummaging through them until he got a blanket. He knew its place when Ray took a blanket for himself to cover up while taking a nap.

Putting the blanket on the lady, she thanked him and sank deeper into it. The hazel eyes were following the pale boy around since he was concerned about his well being. He suspected that Killua is a virgin, but nothing would confirm it yet unless he heard the answer from Killua. But, in the worst cases: if Killua is a virgin, then Gon has to help him out as well since he must be sore by now.

He sat down next to the settling boy, still gazing at him when Killua tried to ignore the obvious Gon, and Gon’s eyes were piercing through him. "Don't worry. I'm not eyeing you or anything."

Killua coughed at Gon's sudden clarification and stared at him embarrassingly from the corners of his eyes. He tried giving him the vibe of 'I don't believe you' through his eyes, which Gon got and smiled at. They were beautifully squinted from aside, staring at him judgingly with little parted lips, freezing from the cold temperature. 

"I want to, uh, apologize." The tan soldier started, fully aware that Killua already feels embarrassed because of his gaze upon him.

"For what?"

"Yesterday—"

"D-Don't… I-It's alright, damn." Killua covered his face, hiding his embarrassment. He tried not to show this to Gon— not to show him that he remembered everything from last night during their stay at the supermarket— all because of the physical activity that energized his memory. However, he turned erubescent so fast that he is sure Gon is now suspicious.

"Um. I hope that you feel okay after what happened though. That's what I wanted to say." Luckily, they weren't the only ones talking. Chatter was everywhere around the truck as everyone started to warm up to each other.

They finally knew that the snarky man with a big belly, who has feet stench from before, is called Tonpa. The woman who was nearly bitten by her husband is called Ponzu. They were introducing each other, but Killua didn't pay attention to everyone talking.

"Thank you for checking up on me though." Mustered Killua shyly, twiddling with the sleeve of Gon's jacket. He was still wearing it and nuzzling into the soft, warm fabric whenever he felt cold. "Are you alright with staying in a tee only?" It was Killua's time to worry.

"Totally. I'm totally used to that." Replied Gon confidently, giving Killua a masculine grin that made Killua's heart skip two beats.

Killua looked away, cheeks flourishing harder, and heat rising faster. He wanted to stop being embarrassed, but last night's events weren't leaving his mind, making it harder to look at Gon in the eyes.

"You look like you're having a hard time looking at me now. I… I… you remember?"

Okay, now Killua wants to die. "Wh-What? I- I don't know what you're talking about…" Gon only smiled and shook his head.

"Yea, okay. Just rest now. I think we are going to reach the safe road soon."

Killua only nodded shyly, looking down at his lap, so his bangs can cover his face. His cheeks are so hot, and he's sure that Gon is eyeing him still. He doesn't know how to feel about Gon eyeing him like that— uncomfortable? Embarrassed? He is just not used to having that much attention even from his ex.

He understands that Gon couldn't take his eyes off of him since he remembers how much of a big hoe he was the day before. He understands that Gon thinks of him as a person of hookups. Maybe he’s staring at him because he knows that he can get him whenever he feels like it? "Um, Gon?"

The dazed soldier was startled upon hearing his name. He hummed back, indicating that he's all ears and wishing that Killua won't accuse him of looking or being creepy; he was daydreaming. He's just worried— worried that he hurt a boy in such a prosaic situation, that's why he is looking and daydreaming.

"I-I… um... Yesterday…" Killua started although he told Gon to forget about it; he had to explain something important to the man he hooked up with, just in case he tried to do it with Killua again. "I'm not that kind of person." Mumbled Killua, embarrassed about the whole topic.

"What kind of person are you talking about?" A little juggling disturbed their conversation since the truck passed over a bump, however, Gon didn't let his focus loose.

"I—" Killua stuttered again, so he coughed and hugged himself tighter as if he is naked under Gon's gaze. "I'm talking about, uh, hookers."

It took Gon a moment to understand that the pale boy is ashamed of what they have done the day prior. He didn't want Gon to come at some point, harassing him or calling him a hoe because of a nightstand. The soldier's eyes squinted eerily before he looked away, lips pursed and fists formed. "And," Replied Gon fastly, "I'm not a man who hooks up with hoes."

Killua coughed, shivering at Gon's hard tone, then nodded with a little 'great to know.' Their short conversation was awkward, but it shed a light on their personalities as well. Killua felt that he knew Gon better but not enough. This 'trip' into the ocean of the apocalypse may take longer than expected, so he wanted to understand everyone clearly.

He wondered about Gon, but Killua isn't a person who trusts others easily. He just wanted to know who would rescue or help them when they are in danger, and who would ditch them to rescue their own lives. Thus, he can make a conclusion about whom to help and whom not.

The thought about trust reminded Killua of something he dearly forgot after everything that he went through. He remembered the reason why he got drunk, the reason why he went to a bar that cold night, the reason why he hooked up with a stranger; he remembered his ex.

_Where is he now?_ Killua thought. He was playing with a strand of his hair, looking around aimlessly, parting his lips again of how numb they were. He couldn't help but remember the hot touch of his ex on his skin, the soft touch, and the one that always got aggressive a minute later. "Killua?" 

"Huh?" He turned towards the calm voice, shaking it out of his scary daze. Gon's hand was resting into his shoulder, and his eyes were forming a gate for Killua to sink inside. He was cold, and Gon, again, was his source of warmth. 

"You're shivering." Pointed Gon questioningly. He knew that it wasn't cold because of Killua's horrified expression. So, he just hugged him soothingly. What was so sudden, Killua clutched Gon's olive-colored tee, nuzzling into Gon's broad chest to continue his shivers silently. Gon resigned, allowing the albino to isolate his thoughts away. Perhaps he was scared of the infected people, or their talk about the prior sex reminded him of a bad memory. Either way, Gon will be there for him, patting his back slowly and waiting for Killua to calm down again.

The ride was getting bumpier with each minute, and the road was getting higher with each bump. Gon assumed that the dirt of the road subsided and the earthy pathway just began. He stared at the tired look of everyone as it was hard to make out their faces in the newly dark truck. Night time trespassed stealthily as no one ever noticed until it was pitch black. 

A few were taking a nap while Gon rubbed Killua's back whose breath was consistent; he was fast asleep and Gon was grateful. The first night in the apocalypse just began and he knew it won't be easy. Nothing will be easy from now on, so they have to figure out a plan to get them to safety.

Hopefully, the country they're aiming for won't be affected. He rested his head on Killua's fluff, enjoying the sensation of his soft curls against his face.

Ray already turned on his flashlight to check up on everyone around him. Of course, it will rest on Gon's figure, who was hugging out a civilian so endearingly. "Wow." He muttered, which alerted Gon, who straightened again; he was thankful for the darkness that hid his blushing face. "You two are closer than I thought."

"He looked scared so…" Mumbled Gon, trying not to wake up the sensitive person between his arms.

"Oh? So you hugged him out… nice. Hug me when I'm scared too, please. You know how scared I could get." Ray sarcastically replied, and Gon rolled his eyes.

"Jokes on you, I only hug short boys." Gon's sarcastic comment made Ray flip from laughing— not literally. The sound of his snorts decreased the amount of gloom in the truck. Some people giggled at the sound of his snorts and Gon only smiled. "You're going to wake everyone up."

"They should wake up anyway," Caleb interfered sternly. His voice was dim but loud enough. "We are high enough to take a break and eat. We are reaching a cottage nearby. Someone's there because the power is on, which I highly suspect because there is no power, I suppose."

"We need to check that out before we get in trouble." Replied Gon as the grim of the situation inflated in the truck again.


	6. Goodbye, Savil

The truck rested on the earthen road, finally killing the engine for calmness and stillness to extend through. Everyone was counting their breath since it was audibly irritating under the heavy silence of the night.

Inside the truck, vivid faces looked at each other, sweat scent mixed, and the atmosphere was just too grim. It didn't last for long when Gon laid the sleeping albino down to stand up. His hard boots thumped lightly against the metal, thick hands clutching the doors to stealthily open them. They only made a squeaky noise once left alone, so the soldier could jump and be followed by the red-haired co-soldier. 

Eventually, fresh and clean air bumped into Gon's features, who generously inhaled the breeze of the mountain. It was what his lungs needed, stung, and burnt for. Eyes closed, he enjoyed the sensation filling his trachea for some slow seconds. His sensitive ears could sense the movement behind, inside the vehicle. He turned to look at his friend, Ray, who eyed him as intensely. Nodding to each other firmly, their boots finally ingrained in the wet soil while moving ahead.

Caleb was waiting for them a few feet away, so they joined with him, getting ready to stumble upon a horrifying creature inside the cottage although it looked abnormally normal in an abnormal apocalypse. The soil's scent in winter, as Gon describes it, is ethereal. It makes his mind rest from thinking and contemplating. What about the sound of the grass smashing underneath their boots? Often, it was considered irritating, but to Gon, it is repetitive and calm enough to remind him of home.

Motioning for his co-soldiers to take each side of the door, raising their weapons and getting ready, Gon knocked. It slowed down for a bit, confusion numbing his senses. He's sure that power was cut off from Savil, this city. However, he could observe a white windmill not so far away, but on a hill higher than their level. Probably, it belongs to the owner of this cottage, which explains the power production. 

The swish of the trees was only audible, tensing the soldiers who didn't get a reply after the knock. They remained still, not knocking still, waiting still. The natural motion around them was taking its effects, animals of the ponds were doing their sounds, but the cottage remained still.

Gon eyed his mates nervously, hesitatingly raising his fist for another knock. He knocked thrice respectively, finally receiving a reply. He was met with a short old man, who's around 5'4" tall. Gon looked at him, investigating him as if he's a predator and the man is the prey. His hair was a shining white though his bald was a little showing. He lacked the hair, but he wasn't completely bald. The wrinkles covered his eyes, weighing his age on his face, and anyone could see the pain of life painting every wrinkle on his forehead. It was once a smooth forehead, but life abused it to be so wrinkled. Although Gon was motionlessly staring, he had a thorough look in his interpretive eyes. 

The man's eyes that'd been closed, widened at the young adult in front of him. Gon frowned tilting his head, getting ready to introduce himself properly, so he wouldn't frighten the old man. "Hello, my name's Gon Freecss, from The Army."

The man smiled, putting his hands behind his back to stare at Gon with a weird look. "Is that how you introduce yourself, Sergeant Freecss?"

Gon's eyes twitched, but he tried his best not to lose his professionalism. His smug look indicated that he knew Gon, everything about Gon. So, Gon straightened, eyeing his nervous soldiers, then fixating his gaze on the shorter man. "Apologies. Introductions aren't even important anymore. I’m Sergeant Freecss, yes."

The old man shrugged, shaking the hand of Gon, "William Smith, a retired Sergeant Major of the Army." The familiarity of the name stuck into Gon, but he just shook it off. "What's wrong, knocking at my door this late at night?" He grumpily asked, rubbing his head irritatingly. Gon was taken off-guard by the high-rank soldier in front of them, so all of them straightened and properly saluted the old man, who dismissed them off just to answer right away. 

"There is a plague spreading around, sir. Savil is completely under it, so we had to depart through the mountain road, and we are worried about you staying here any longer." Gon explained the situation clearly, his soldiers joining at the front door prior.

The old man looked away thoughtfully, eyes glimmering as if he was encountering a flashback. "Come in. You're intending to stay the night here anyway right? You know, they become stronger at night."

Gon's eyes narrowed as he looked down at him. "You know?" As secretly as his message was, the old man looked at him with an intense gaze, standing aside for Gon to come in and shoo the other two to prepare the night outside the cottage for the rescued civilians.

"I need you to tell me more about this. How much did it spread? The result? How powerful is it?" The old man questioned, and Gon knew that it's going to be a long night. 

°•~~~•° 

William walked around, followed by Gon, who was looking around the cottage. He could listen to the shuffling and conversations outside since they didn’t close the door behind them. It was a decent one-room cottage, where the bed, living room, and kitchen were all exposed to one another. A small room on the side, that looks like a wardrobe, is the actual bathroom. The man motioned for Gon to the table next to a rusty window at the end of the round cottage, so Gon went to sit down politely, still cautious of his surroundings. "I was there when they experimented with that weapon for the first time." Will, the old man, told Gon. The younger soldier's eyes widened, so he stared sternly at him.

"How did they experiment with such a weapon?" He curiously asked, observing the active man. He was opening a cupboard, snatching a cartoonish box. He took out the tea, putting the kettle on the stove. The man rested two mugs, and put the tea bags inside, turning to Gon and leaning on the counter. His eyes played a video of Gon, the suffering, and the witnessing of all the long-termed events. He couldn’t help sensing a shiver run down his spine.

"Criminals were the best rats for the procedure; the ones who are restrained forever, to be precise." William’s voice was scratchy, dull, and disturbing to the ears, but Gon usually has been hearing that tone in the army since he was eighteen.

His throat dried swiftly at the mention of the 'rats'. He couldn’t believe how they’d do that… It’s not like he was completely oblivious about the topic either. "Th-They turned them?" He couldn't help but stutter in shock.

"Yes. I know it looks brutal, but they needed to know. I don't know how it was spread in our city, but I'm sure it's either a traitor's job or…"

"Or…" Repeated Gon, worried about the next phrase. The man set down the mugs of tea on the table, settling down next to Gon, who was eagerly waiting for the completion of the previous sentence.

"—or a governmental agreement." Gon bumped his fist harshly on the round table, suspecting the answer but never submitting to it. Some of the tea splattered around, but Will didn't even flinch. 

"Bullshit…"

"I still have a lot to tell you."

"Why are you exposing this to me? It is supposed to be a secret."

Will smiled knowingly at Gon, who tried avoiding his gaze after the menacing gaze of Will. The gaze alone was capable of passing the answer to Gon, but Will answered Gon's ludicrous question anyway. "We know that your hands are dirty too, Sergeant Freecss."

Gon bit his lip to prevent lashing out. His eyebrows wiggled, and his eyes trembled. Alas, he couldn't defend himself. 

"You also have a lot of treacherous information about this topic. I wonder if it is still worth hiding it in a situation like this." Gon was going to reply when Will cut him out to continue, "If you're thinking that the base is going to give you or anyone else the antidote, then you're wasting your time."

Gon looked away, guilt was manifesting harder. "I never knew it was like this… I was never told it is like this…" Gon disgustingly murmured, bawling his hands to fists to prevent his trembling. Will was frighteningly calm, Gon hated it.

"Don't worry, I know that it will be defeated. It is a game of time. Either the whole of humanity is exterminated, or humanity exterminates the weapon."

"How…" Asked Gon defeatedly. He was looking down at his lap to confine and refrain from facing the guilt in Will's eyes; it scared him.

"Each weapon has weaknesses, even Project MC-5," Will mumbled, and Gon's eyes winded again. His lips parted, and he finally stared at the man adjacent to him. 

°•~~~•°

"Are you sure it won't rain?!" Ray irritatingly asked Caleb, who was busy lighting a fire pit for warmth. The atmosphere was getting chillier and the sky barely had stars above, so it was like a sheet of blankness, darkening the atmosphere even more. 

"I'm not a meteorologist, but the weather looks calm tonight. We need fresh air and sleeping in the truck would kill all of us." Reasoned Caleb.

"I know! But, I don't want to sleep and wake up buried under the snow!"

"You'll be fine."

When Caleb and Ray were bickering, other civilians under the lead of Ponzu were preparing the food. One of them already lit a fire pit away from the other to start cooking while Ponzu excused herself and asked if she could use the cottage’s stove. Her interference inside the cottage cut the talk between Gon and Will, but they excused her and allowed her in, changing the subject for a while. She was instructed by Caleb not to use a lot of resources because they don’t know when they’d be able to refill the missing ingredients. She had a hard mission, and the food’s quality will be poorer without all the ingredients; that’s the meaning of living on the edge, huh?

Aside from all the commotion, Killua was dangling his feet down the ravine, sitting on the edge and looking down. It was too dark, so he couldn't see anything. Nonetheless, he didn't need to because he was daydreaming. The sleepiness weighed his eyelids, still trying to wake up after Caleb woke him up vigorously. 

While he was on it, Ponzu was doing a great job at cooking. The pots weren't big, so she had to cook and cook and cook; she was fine doing it.

Upon this Lunar New Year, amid the wintry air, beneath the noble starry-black, Killua observed the beauty of the moon. Crickets played the background song, and the cold night breeze sifted through his tufts. He graced Earth's sky to glow equally for all, a picture in the light as if created by love. Love, a word that became a legend in reality. Love that gives you warmth, happiness, and stomach butterflies. It's non-existent. 

Killua stopped stalking the moon when his gaze became blurry. Why did he remember? He was just fine, surviving. But, the first reason he was this messed up wasn't the apocalypse— it was him.

Killua felt spoiled, his ivory-pale cheeks were numbed by the wintry breeze, and his tears fell like frozen beads. He clutched the blanket tighter, nuzzling his lower bottom face into it, raising his legs to his chest, then looking back at the solidified moon. Emotionless, that's how Killua described it. 

The moon, a bunch of rocks, is emotionless. It was staring down at them like a narcissistic fellow, viewing the apocalypse down from the sky without caring. He was once compared with the moon.

His boyfriend, no, credits go to his sweet-romantic tongue, always complimented Killua's appearance. He made him feel like an angel, a fallen angel.

Killua sniffled, then sobbed. His shoulders trembled at the motion of the air vibrating in his lungs. That touch.

Love. 

Love shattered him.

_ "Babe, there is an afterparty for the basketball team at my friend's house. We are invited to join." Killua was hugged by the waist, his hands were clutching the hem of his boyfriend's clothes. His nose touched his lover's chin, who mumbled calmly, asking him out. _

_ "Yanno, I have to study for my exams…” Killua nuzzled into their embrace, replying softly at him. “I still want to be with you, hon.” He mumbled again, not to hurt him, but his boyfriend didn’t just accept that.  _

_ “No, no. You’re coming, or are you going to leave me for the chicks?” He grinned at Killua’s pout, who just broke the hug to walk around the chilly park. Liam, his boyfriend, followed him, kicking a few stones out of his way. “Killua! Don’t ignore me!” he whined, but Killua just turned around with a pure grin, then ran forward. It is supposed to start snowing soon anyway. He’s wrapping up his semester before the winter’s break because Liam promised him to spend Christmas with him too.  _

_ “Liam! Look at that!” Killua pointed at the pond nearby. He felt like he’s living in heaven, so he couldn’t distinguish that life and heaven are utterly different. Liam joined him next to the railing as the pond was a few feet deeper than where they stood. Killua was clutching the railing and looking astonishingly at the view of the park in winter, but Liam was spending that time to eye Killua thoroughly, to eye that hot smoking body underneath these thick layers. He was hungry for his boyfriend, which is completely normal. It is normal unless it is a one-sided craving.  _

_ Killua purely loved Liam, deep down his core was muttering his name, but Liam only cared about what is physically appetizing to him. Killua was very cute, his smile was heart-melting. Liam wasn’t gay, never had eyes on a man before. Just he knew his inner bisexuality when he met Killua. He was patient, but he could sense his nerves popping every time Killua refuses his request for sex. He said that he’s not ready. He said he wanted to hold on for his virginity. It is something important to him, and he wanted to give it to the right person, that’s what Killua said.  _

_ On the other hand, Liam never cared for that side of the relationship. He even wondered if he loved Killua for himself or just for his looking, but whenever Killua mentions how strict he is about his virginity, something boils inside Liam. He craves for that night, but Killua is way too hard to get. That afterparty should put a line for Killua’s refusals; he’s going to take him, and Killua will die for it.  _

_ Killua caught him staring, tilting his head in confusion, so Liam smiled and hugged him with one arm. “I can’t wait for the afterparty. It looks way too fun.” Killua hummed at Liam’s statement, wondering about the buffet and the type of music that they will display at that party. He hoped that it would be anything but Jazz, which is unlikely in parties like these. As he was thinking, he was pulled into a deep kiss by Liam, so Killua muffled a little, then adjusted. To anyone who’d pass by, they could visibly pinpoint how hungry Liam is for Killua; the kiss took way too long to be broken and took Killua’s breath away. The black-haired didn’t stop kissing until Killua forcefully pushed him away for breath.  _

_ “Liam! I nearly died!” Killua objected, wiping his lips since the string of saliva stuck down on them, but Liam looked hungrier. His eyes were squinting, and he was biting his bottom lip too hard. Killua took a step back, still panting, “Liam?”  _

_ “Hm?” He hummed, wrapping his arms around Killua’s waist again. His nose stuck into Killua’s neck, digging deeper and forcing Killua’s wool sweatshirt to subside and show his shoulder’s bone.  _

_ “What are you doing?! We’re in a public park!” Killua hissed faintly, trying to push his boyfriend off of him, but the latter’s hands were strong and stubborn, clutching into Killua’s waist in need.  _

_ “I can’t get over how beautiful you are. You’re such an angel fallen from heaven. I want you so bad…”  _

His thoughts shattered once someone sat beside him. Gon dangled his legs down, swinging them and looking at the ravine. “It’s so deep. Scary.” He mumbled, but Killua tightened his grip on his legs and never replied. Gon stared at him from the corners of his eyes, then back at the sky. “The moon’s beautiful today.” He mumbled again, noticing the glistening tears on Killua’s cheeks. The albino sniffled, then nodded. He had to get the strength to wipe off his tears, but he was grateful that Gon didn’t bother him about it. 

They shared a peaceful moment of silence although they know others now are screaming, and flesh getting eaten, and horrible transformations are occurring down that mountain. Gon’s breathing was calming, so Killua closed his eyes to listen. Before Gon’s presence, his mind was a chaotic lump of screaming noises, but it is a calming silence now. Even when Gon decided to speak, it was genuinely soft and calm, warming Killua’s body completely. “I…” Killua trailed off for a second, but Gon fixated his gaze on the moon, lightly swinging his legs underneath. “I don’t know how to feel about love.” 

Gon let out a sarcastic laugh, not too loud and not too sarcastic. He didn’t mean to let it out, but the tune of it wasn’t offending to Killua’s ears. “You’re thinking about love in a situation like this?” 

Killua wiped another falling tear. He was looking down at the darkness silently, contemplating what he should reply with. “You know? I never thought about anything else the past year. W-When I went to that bar, all that was in my mind was love… no, betrayal.” 

Gon hummed, crossing his legs and resting his hands on his lap. He needed a moment to understand Killua’s hidden messages. He’s obviously chatting with Gon, but it looked like he’s using Gon to sort out his mind, to sort out the chaos going through his mind. “Well, before I got completely drunk, I sat down next to you to order another drink.” Gon started, and Killua didn’t interrupt. “Although you were irritably clingy, which angered me at some point through the night, I tried not to bother you when I saw you crying. Even when we went to the motel, you cried through…” 

Killua covered his face, steadying it on his knees, but he replied back. His voice was a mess of muffles and trembles. “Do you have a lover, Gon?” The question took Gon off-guard, so he coughed to clear his voice, then looked away.

“No? Are you hitting on me?” Gon sarcastically replied, trying to make the atmosphere a little funnier with his smirk along the way. However, Killua’s reaction shocked him. The boy jumped in his seat and turned to Gon with a red face. It was like a cherry blossom, blossoming beautifully and taking the flourishing color underneath the moonlight. “Calm down, I was joking.” Gon mumbled, mouth twitching. He nearly laughed out loud at how cute that moment was.

The look of Killua’s blossoming face, tears like diamonds on his beautiful ivory skin, and his sapphire eyes like the lightning of dedication, all pierced into Gon’s mind like a painting; he’s perfect. “I-I had something else in mind. I—”

“Continue, continue. You looked so sad, so I tried taking your mind off the little things of the past.” Gon waved Killua’s embarrassment off, who mumbled the word past faintly before looking away again. 

“If you had a lover, who was the most beautiful human around you, the one who everyone would like to date…” Killua remained silent for a deep meaningful second, then continued. “But, your relationship with that lover was based on looks only…” 

“Okay?” Gon's eyes were now piercing into the beautiful boy next to him, propping himself with his arm, as he turned a little to face the young adult while he was speaking. 

“You two were okay and happy until your lover had the most horrific accident that he lost all of his beauty, remember that your relationship is based on looks… what would you do?” Killua mumbled, resting his chin on his knees and ignoring Gon’s curious looks at the boy. 

“Honestly, I’d break up with them.” Killua turned in shock at the man, lips parted as if he didn’t expect such an answer. Gon shrugged, looking straight to the front to continue. “It is a relationship based on looks, Killua. Nothing’s real. That’s not love if you think it is. I’d be an asshole if I let that lover get attached to me further when I barely have feelings for them. If I retreated from the first time, it would save us both a heartbreak. Because let’s think about it thoroughly, I will eventually find my true love, and being with the one who I don’t have any feelings for just out of pity will break them, and hurt them after the huge breakup, especially that they won’t have confidence in themselves anymore because they aren’t beautiful like they used to be…” 

Killua looked away after the explanation, eyes trembling slightly. He was ready to say something, no, he wanted to say something but nothing was on his mind. Gon saved them both from the awkwardness when he talked again, “I’m not that type of someone who gets into a relationship based on looks anyway, so you have to ask someone who usually does that, yanno?” 

Killua nodded, shivering slightly at the coming breeze. “I understand, thank you for your honesty though.” He hugged himself tighter before he resumed, “I don’t really care about the apocalypse… I gave up on life since the day my feet entered that bar.” 

Gon looked again at him, tongue-tied but emotions boiling to say something. He waited for a bit, maybe Killua wanted to say something again. “I’d just die carelessly… It is just, I didn’t know how scary death is until I faced it.” 

The soldier twitched in his place, thinking about whether he should mumble the next sentence or not, but he did it anyway. “Does it wear socks in winter?—”

Killua cut him off with a confused look, still trying to understand what Gon just said. Gon’s cheeks reddened when Killua’s eyes widened. His lips stretched into a smile, then he looked away. That smile made Gon’s chest go bubble, bubble. He made the sad albino smile. “You sound like a child, how old are you though?” 

Gon hummed with a smile as well, looking at the moon again, wholly not disturbed by the background chat of the civilians. “I’m twenty-two.” 

“Oh. I thought you’re older.” Killua mumbled, so Gon pursed his lips.

“Now that’s rude.” 

“No, you’re just so tall.” 

Gon chuckled and looked at Killua mockingly, whose cheeks reddened at the look and imagined Gon’s next reply. “No, in fact, you’re just short.” 

Killua grumbled and looked away, upset by hearing that word again. “I’m not that short… A man is considered tall at 5’8, scientific fact.” 

“You’re 5’8?!” Gon looked too shocked, but Killua shook his head no. 

“I’m 5’7.” Gon hummed, still not quite convinced, so Killua rolled his eyes at Gon’s suspicious look. “What about you, soldier dude?” 

“I’m six feet, a little beyond that…” 

“Oh, wow. Lucky.” Killua murmured, so Gon couldn’t help but lightly laugh. His laughter was something else to Killua; gentlemanly. He wasn’t a bad boy like in movies, nor a stray, gangster, or any of these. Just a gentleman, a normal guy, with good looking features.

“So, what made you come to that bar? You said you gave up on everything, but I just want to tell you, nothing deserves your sadness.” Back to square one, Gon couldn’t fight his curiosity. Killua smiled at the soft words coming from the man who took his virginity. 

“Well, I barely have a family, and I broke up with the only one, who I considered everything, then a stranger took my virginity… Everything sucks. To make it worse, I’m stuck in an apocalypse, and I might die at any instant.”

Gon cringed slightly at the part of ‘a stranger took my virginity,’ especially when Killua carefully emphasized the words. He looked guiltily at Killua who was upset again, grunting at his stupidity for breaking the fun they enjoyed a minute prior. His tongue was extremely tied, and he didn’t know how to soothe the boy. It felt like heaven to hear Caleb’s voice, who cut their awkwardness short by yelling for them. 

“FOOD IS READY! EVERYONE FORM A CIRCLE!” Killua turned behind bewilderedly, then back at Gon, who was already looking at Caleb’s way. 

“Come on, let’s fill the tummy and get some rest.” Gon mumbled assuringly, and Killua nodded. His cheeks flourished, and his eyes glistened when Gon stood up and offered him a hand. They shared a longing look together, emotions colliding, and hearts beating. Killua genuinely accepted the offered masculine hand, then Gon pulled him up to his feet. The blanket that rested atop Killua’s shoulder fell down, but Killua was absorbed into the beauty of Gon’s blazing ambers. 

Once the soldier noticed Killua looking at him thoroughly, he gave him a solid smile and walked away, leaving Killua to stare at the back of the man, who was to his aid every time he needed him even emotionally. It was weird, scary. Killua wondered why a stranger was always helping him out, especially in an apocalypse where there is a possibility of backstabbing to survive. Is it pity? Is it his duty? Or is it something else? Probably the weird drunk bonding they had a day prior?

He had to stop thinking about the possibilities because his stomach was loud. He stayed the whole day without food, so he has to give his body a treat for holding back. Liam’s days were over; he has to focus on what’s important now, surviving. Joining the circle, he sat next to Gon where space was provided. The pregnant lady was next to him as well, and he stared at the dimly lit fire pit. “We can’t afford to light it further, so sorry for the people who need warmth.” Caleb notified, then continued, “As far as we know, the infected are stronger at night, probably when the sun is completely out of sight. That’s why if they noticed the fire, they’d be head over heels to the mountain, so let’s keep it low.” He finally added, a tint of mockery in his tone, “Cuddle with each other if you’re cold.”

Survivors were grumbling, but everyone was getting used to Caleb’s bad humor. Gon stood up to help the other two soldiers with distributing the food, and Killua just eyed everyone, hopeful that they wouldn't take long to pass him some food. As expected, Gon crouched down with a solid cartoonish plate, he handed it to the hungry albino, who generously accepted it to dig in. “Water bottles will be distributed after the meal! Make sure that it will last you more than the whole night, please.” Gon instructed, but everyone just ate in silence. 

The crackling sound of the wood stumbled upon the silence. Caleb’s boots ingrained in the soil when he came back after handing Will a plate as well. He sat down next to Gon to devour his plate hungrily. The food was tasteless, no spices, no salt, nothing of the basics…

Nonetheless, almost all the survivors were grateful that they survived the day with a great filling meal, until… “What the fuck is this?! It has no taste, it is disgusting!” The fat man, who Killua recognized from the truck as Tonpa, yelled. He spat the food away, so the people next to him were disgusted by what he had done in front of them. Killua’s eyes were bewilderedly eyeing him. He didn’t know how people could just say that when they hardly got that food.

“I tried to decrease the materials in the food, so it could last longer—” The woman who cooked, Ponzu, tried reasoning, but Tonpa cut her off with a snarky snort— full of anger. 

“You call yourself a woman? You can’t even cook—” Now it was Gon’s time to cut Tonpa off and direct all the eyes on him. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He didn’t yell, he just said it. It was hard, it was menacing. Eyes blazing, glimmering, and twinkling dangerously like a lion nearby the prey; it was the fire’s effect, but Gon is indeed intimidating. 

Tonpa stared at Gon in fright. Everyone could see the sweat shedding down from Tonpa’s forehead, who looked down at his plate to continue eating as if nothing happened. Gon turned to Ponzu, gaze a little softer now. “Thanks for cooking, and we appreciate sparing the ingredients.” Ponzu respectfully nodded, and the commotion just ended like that. 

On the contrary, behind the scenes, the albino was admiring how straightforward, gentlemanly, commanding Gon could be. It was nice to have him around, making everyone feel guided and protected. He assumed that Gon was one of those bad people before because he hooked up with him when he was drunk. Now he believes that Gon was wasted just like him. Perhaps, he regretted that night too. 

“How about we play a game like twenty questions. We could know each other better.” Ray suddenly suggested, attracting the attention to him. Gon liked the idea, followed by a few, who expressed their acceptance. “Okay, so how would we play that with all of us?” Ray questioned aloud, thinking, so Gon clutched a bottle nearby and smiled. “Oh! Yeah, let’s spin the bottle. The one introduces themselves once the mouth of the bottle is directed to them!” 

Gon nodded and spun the bottle, enjoying his meal along with playing a fast game of getting together. It rested on Ray, so Ray smiled at everyone and started, “I’m Ray, 20, Private Trainee.” He looked around the astonished faces, getting redder a little before spinning the bottle himself. It was amusing to Gon how shy Ray could be. Turn after turn, the survivors finished their meals. The bottle halted, directing its mouth to the pregnant lady. She smiled. “I’m Palm, 32, and a single mom.” Everyone in the group introduced something about them that they think they are fine telling, which is enough to at least be able to call them out. Before Palm could spin the bottle, someone butted in to ask. 

“What month are you in? You don’t have to answer!” His hair was long, and his figure was short, but he was old enough. He had wide eyes, but small pupils. However, his question was interesting. 

“The seventh.” Palm replied, rubbing her swollen belly, smiling faintly under the light of the fire. The man nodded respectfully and waited for Palm to spin the bottle. It rested towards Killua’s figure, who looked around coyly. 

“The name’s Killua, nineteen years old, and I’m majoring in medical studies,” Killua mumbled, but it was audible enough to the people around. They had to murmur happily that Killua is kind of a doctor. He could hear them saying they’re lucky to have one with them. He did mention it before, that he’s majoring in medical studies, but not everyone caught up. 

“Oh! That’s so nice to have you around then!” The same man who asked Palm about her pregnancy month sputtered enthusiastically. “What year are you in?” 

Killua grumbled lightly, not used to all of the attention, he mumbled the answer. “The second.” 

“Ohh! That’s so cool! I think we’re not doomed guys!” He said cheerfully, and Killua let out a nervous sigh, unaware of the concerned look of Gon beside him. 

The soldier eyed the cheerful man with a solid face, cutting the talk around the circle. “And what about you? Your name?” Gon said, so the man stopped talking and turned to Gon sternly as well. 

“I’m Pokkle, 30, and I’m a hunter!” Gon choked in his saliva for an instant as he stared at Pokkle in disbelief. 

“You’re thirty?! Damn, I look older than you.” Laughter emitted slightly through the circle at Gon’s comment because all of them were slightly shocked by that fact. “What do you hunt normally?” 

“Oh! I usually use my hunting gun to hunt deers and birds and stuff like that. I wonder if my ability would be beneficial to hunt zombies too.” People talked around, praising Pokkle for his bravery. Gon was going to drift off in his daze when Pokkle suddenly asked, “What about you, Gon?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m Gon, twenty-two years old, a soldier in the Army…” He said, shooting a polite smile to Pokkle, who grinned. Killua was getting tired, but he was interested in knowing the people that he will stick around for quite a while. His brain was screaming the word sleep, and his eyes were fighting the temptation of the sleeping dust. Gon smiled when he noticed the tired look on Killua’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Suddenly, the fat man interrupted a woman who was speaking for herself and her son to introduce himself and piss off Gon again my fault. 

“And I’m Tonpa, a very successful businessman, who likes food, but I’m a foodie so better prepare good meals.” Gon interrupted Tonpa’s speech, unfazed by Tonpa’s horrible demeanor. 

“I wonder if the infected will find you tasty.” Everyone turned to Gon, mouths agape. On the other hand, Tonpa’s snarky tone lifted, closing his lips tight and looking down. Killua giggled, breaking the sudden and weird silence, so everyone turned to him. 

“A successful businessman with a torn sock…” Killua giggled again, pointing at Tonpa’s torn sock after he took his shoes off to be comfortable. “Successful Businessmen don’t smell like shit as well.” The two sitting next to Tonpa started wheezing so loud as if Killua just caught up on something really important. People around them were trying to be respectful towards Tonpa, but he deserved the roast anyway. 

“You—” Tonpa stared at Gon’s dangerous look when he nearly cursed Killua out, then went back to silence. He knew if he said something wrong, he'd be the first sacrifice the next time they will depart from this mountain. And it was obvious that Gon is way too protective towards the albino for some reason. However, no one dared to point that out since Gon was the leader to them, or that what they have thought. 

Finally, Gon turned to the last one, who didn’t introduce herself yet, Ponzu. “Your turn.” Gon mumbled and the woman with aqua hair nodded. 

“Ponzu, 27, a widow…” She said silently as if trying to fight a tear. Everyone stared at her worriedly. Wasn’t she the one whose husband turned and nearly bit her? Yeah, she’s that one. 

“Bruh, all the short people are older than me, what?” Gon suddenly blurted, looking at Ponzu unbelievably. She blushed a little and looked away, but Gon indeed helped her forget about the topic, directing her attention elsewhere. It was enjoyable, their rare bonding time was enjoyable. 

Everyone felt warmer now that they knew something important about each other. Gon did a little speech, a weird one, explaining how they should support each other in a dire situation like this. It gave them a little courage when Gon said that one hand can’t clap, but two can. And when several hands clap, it makes a voice. They’ll be in safety soon, protected and happy, leaving Savil behind, memories buried under the unlucky bodies of torn flesh and the undead. Everyone was ready to move on.

The healthy city, New Risal, the one they’re going to, will hug them out, help them to move on. Or so they thought…

It was time to sleep, so everyone started to get under their futons while some others volunteered to help the soldiers provide each other with blankets. Everyone almost introduced themselves, except for Caleb. He decided to keep it a secret, claiming that there is no need to know more than his name, which was kind of suspicious to some of the survivors, but they didn’t press it. 

Gon checked up on William, who didn’t close his door the whole time, to let everyone feel welcome in his area. He was stubborn not to leave his place, so Gon had to check up on him for the last try. “It’s still a no?” 

William let out a tired sigh, “I never thought I’d meet someone more stubborn than me.” Gon smiled, walking closer to the man who was getting ready to sleep. 

“You better come with us. You’re my guide when I’m guiding everyone else.” Gon tried, so William finally submitted to Gon’s soft pleading tone. 

“Alright, I’ll make sure to be ready.” Gon nodded, smiling victoriously. 

Contrarily, Killua tiredly crawled under one of the blankets, slumping his head on the hard like rock pillow, but he was directly knocked out. The day was tiring, so all of them need to sleep it off to be stronger in the morning. The day felt like a year, and they’re sure the year will feel like a century, but they’re happy that they will say Goodbye to Savil and finally go to New Risal. 

They’ll start a new life there, ignoring the massacre of the plague that happened in Savil. Everyone was hopeful that this nightmare will end tomorrow when they wake up to the beautiful sun, rising high and pointing to the new beginning. 

Goodbye, Savil. 


	7. Rotten Flesh

Snowflakes twinkled in the sky, fluttering and swinging in the air freely, then falling down to melt in the hands of the albino. He was smiling, cheeks freezing, lips numbing, but the snow was incredible. It danced like a choreographed ballet by the gentle wind. The scenery looked like an unfinished painting, and the morning light was struggling to pass through the murky clouds. 

It wasn't silent, no morning silence like Killua's morning days. He was observing everyone, overhearing the yells, and obeying the instructions. The sounds were very much a lot to comprehend. Their boots and shoes had little snow over the top, ingrained in the fragile white-brownish nature-ground. William was transferring what he had from food and clothes to the truck with the help of Gon. He's going down that path with them, and as Gon explained it for them, his knowledge is priceless.

Gon, since the very morning light arose, notified everyone that William is taking the role of the captain—respect and obeying are essential to survive, so they have to oblige to William's orders and strictly follow their route. The safety is not too far away, but they were trained to take precautions and never underestimate a weaker threat.

New Risal, there is a country between it and Savil, and everyone thinks that the infected people won't reach that far, they thought…

Gon jumped into the truck, helping the survivors to climb up. On the other hand, Ray and William mounted the front seats, the seats that are separated from the back by a wall—only a rectangular cell window connects the back to the front, so they could communicate. 

Killua came closer, looking at Gon's extended hand since it was his turn to climb up. He looked up at Gon, who smiled genuinely at him. "Fast, Killua. We don't have all day." He softly murmured not to offend the young adult, who accepted the generous hand for a lift.

Gon pulled him up with ease, and Killua walked inside—a blanket around his shivering body. He feels so stink, two days without bathing. To someone who's used to have a bath every day, this is beyond mortifying. And, he doesn't even know when he will be able to get in the shower. He regretted not asking William if he could have a shower in the cottage.

Well, he's going to safety soon; once they provide them with housing as refugees, he will have a shower and sleep. With the help of Caleb, Gon shut the doors of the truck, yelling for Ray on the driver's seat to start driving. He received an okay, then the engine was kicked back to life.

Ray had to wait for a bit for the engine to heat up, then allowed the truck to move its wheels towards safety, towards shelter. It formed a disturbing sound, yet it was calming in the morose silence of the apocalypse.

Killua was already seated down on the side, rubbing his palms together for warmth. The friction submerged and warmed his freezing hands a little. Next to him was Ponzu and Pokkle, who were talking non-stop since yesterday's dinner. They're getting annoying, and to Killua, it felt like Ponzu easily forgot about her dead husband after meeting Pokkle—he hates unfaithful bitches…

If it was him, he'd be bawling his eyes for years until he could move on. Oh yeah, like the way he's killing himself with depression after his breakup; he’d go dead inside and empty, and he would take any possible moment to return back with the love of his life even if it was toxic. He knows how wrong this is, but it is just him? He finds it hard to move on after a week or a day like others. The road down from the mountain, Mt. Savil, to New Risal City was smooth and calm. Nothing stopped them except a deer passing by. 

Ray was calmer at driving ever since he had a partner, William, in the passenger seat. It felt better, especially since he's so high in ranks. The captain of the whole Army…

But, he's retired.

The snow was piling on the sides as Ray drove down the mountain. It was a tad bit rocky, but nothing's alarming. The truck tumbled slightly along with people inside, which disturbed them and drained their patience. This caused minor upsetting frowns on their faces, and Killua was just looking around, enjoying the  _ swinging _ sensation of the juggling truck. 

He felt that once when his family agreed to take him to the amusement park, and he chose to ride on a circular machine that was going up and down so fast while children and people clenching into its railing, screaming.

Scratch children, they were all teenagers and adults. It was a scary game, but Killua loved the sensation a lot. The army dudes expected the road to New Risal and the mountain to be open. That route wasn't threatening, but once they reached it, they were stopped by a military barrier. 

Gon stood up, heading towards the cell-window to look at the front, where Ray was talking to the soldier about their situation. It appeared that the news was directly teleported to New Risal. It took extreme locked and stern precautions not to allow anyone from the two nearby cities from coming in.

"So? You're telling us to come back and be bitten and shit?!" Ray yelled at the soldier, sweating when the soldier apologized and explained the rule. William was only staring at them, arms crossed.

Gon had to interfere, but another soldier came by and murmured into the one who was talking to Ray. "Okay, good. Um, sorry, but we had to make a call, and since you don't look infected, then we will allow you to come in. But, before we allow any survivors in, we have to test that no one's infected, sir."

Ray turned to Gon, who gave him a mere nod. "Caleb, let's open the doors. There is a search party." Gon said and walked with Caleb towards the doors. The survivors were anxiously looking at their soldiers, who opened the doors widely to be faced with other soldiers.

They saluted Gon knowingly, who brushed them off. His sharp sense notified him that those soldiers, who are risking their lives by staying at the borders, are mere cadets. They’re throwing the newbies to the front lines and hiding behind for protection, which is pathetic. "Please make it quick." Gon mumbled after, and the soldiers politely asked everyone to come outside.

"How would you know if they aren't holding the virus? Like they would just turn, yanno?" Caleb asked as one of the soldiers stuck something metallic in Caleb's ear.

"It will beep if any of you are infected even a little." The soldier replied so Caleb shrugged; his lips were droopy in glum. 

Survivors took turns for the test, while other soldiers investigated the materials in the truck. They were wearing specific glasses to detect any blood of the infected. Gon was wondering if those were invented and distributed by the base, aka legit. But, William said that the base isn't going to help them. Maybe scientists and geniuses are doing their best to end this  _ plague _ .

He's not sure how effective these machines are, but if it makes New Risal safe and all, then who cares?

"You really think that you could test an infected person? He'd just bite your head off." William complained when someone reached him. "There isn't anything about holding the virus because once the virus is inside your veins, then you're dead." He added, but the soldier tested him.

Gon knew that as well. It is not a virus, it's a weapon. It is invented to kill, not to be  _ treated. _ Obviously, whatever they know in New Risal, it is just absurd and not true—but they have to go along with it to go inside. This also helped them to know that zombies didn't reach that far yet. The soldiers who are testing them don't even know how the zombies look like, nor how they act.

Perhaps, it's because all sorts of communications were cut from Savil and the next city between New Risal and Savil. That's chaotic. 

"Beep, beep." Gon turned at the sound to see the machine beeping into Killua's ear. Killua looked confused and a few soldiers pointed their weapons towards his face.

"He's infected!"

"Guys! Be careful!"

"Goodness! He looked normal!!!"

The only calm people were the survivors of Savil, including Gon, Ray, Caleb, and William. Killua was looking around worriedly, then his eyes rested on Gon, who pushed through the scared rats around.

"STOP! HE'S INFECTED!" Someone yelled, but Gon didn't pay him any attention.

"Killua, do you feel anything?" Gon mumbled, and Killua shook his head no.

Gon knows.

He worked on that project. Project MC-5. 

The reason this apocalypse existed. Nonetheless, he just can't blow his cover. He put his hand on Killua's forehead.

Normal.

He turned around, eyeing everyone in disgust. "Who invented those things? Is this situation a joke to you?"

They looked at him confusedly, then Gon turned towards them completely, Killua behind his back. "Whoever the person, who taught you, is a big idiot. I don't think this machine works on detecting the virus. You just have to make sure he doesn't have a fever. After someone who's been infected very recently, their temperature will rise too high, they'll get shivers, and they will directly turn bloodthirsty. All you need is a thermometer, not this shit you're holding."

They looked at each other confusedly. "Ask us, the survivors from Savil," Caleb said, jumping off a truck with a thermometer to hand it to Gon. "We were so close, and we are the first party to know about the plague. We have a lot of information." Caleb secretly bribed, and the soldiers had to do some calls while others hoisted their weapons on Killua steadily.

Killua has no fear in his eyes, just confusion, which made Gon a little upset.

He wasn't joking when he confessed to Gon that he doesn't care about life anymore.

He turned to Killua, ushering for him to open his mouth. Killua looked away, slightly blushing. Then, he took the thermometer from Gon to do it himself. Just a minute, Gon slipped it off and looked at it. They don't need a thermometer to sense the high fever of the zombie, a hand is enough. They'd be boiling.

But, he tried going slow for their brains to understand—to give them solid proof. 

Killua's temperature was between 37 and 38°C. Completely normal. "Did you do your calls?" Gon called for the one holding the phone. He turned with a sweaty face before nodding.

"You may come inside, but you'll be under the watchful eyes of the military."

"Very much appreciated." Gon said, grasping Killua’s hand and leading him to the truck again. Killua trotted to keep up with Gon’s fast pace, accepted Gon’s gesture to get inside the truck, then they were finally heading towards New Risal.

They're going to shelters, where other survivors were lucky to bypass the security before everything is blocked between cities. Gon turned to Killua to see his solid expression. They gave each other a reassuring smile, and everything ended like that.

"I'm still wondering why it beeped," Caleb said, looking at Killua straight in the eye. Killua blushed slightly, trying to avoid Caleb, who bent down to look at Killua closer, dangerously closer. 

"I think, um, the machine detects any kind of metal. I do have, uh, metal." Killua mumbled, and Caleb raised his eyebrow.

"What? Explain."

Gon was sneakily eyeing them. He was also curious. "Um. Uh, I mean. I saw that machine before. It is like the one you pass in front of your clothes at the airport to detect any metal."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, but this one is attached in the ear to detect any metal inside the body. Like a minuscule x-ray shit. I don't know how to describe it."

"How would you know about that, and you have metal inside your body?!" Caleb exclaimed, looking weirdly at Killua, who looked slightly offended.

"My parents bought these for our guards—"

"Oh, wow. Guards." Gon mumbled, and Killua covered his face. 

"Someone's rich!" Pokkle joked, but no one laughed.

"Y-Yeah and they make that sound when someone has metal inside, like… some crazy peeps really attach weapons inside their bodies—"

"How in the actual fuck?" Caleb asked, and Killua opened his mouth, then closed it again.

He needed a few moments to gather his courage and say the next words. "There was a time my dad had a meeting with a new customer. The machine beeped when the guard attached it in her ear, and it appeared later on that she stuck a pistol in her pussy."

Gon, Caleb, and a few other faces were dramatically sinking in shock.

"She started bleeding and stuff— uh, just ignore that." Killua looked away, and Caleb blinked twice before coughing.

"And you have a pistol inside your anus?" He said. A few people couldn't help but wheeze aloud at Caleb's retort.

Killua suddenly threw a kick, startling Caleb and throwing him a foot away. He clutched his stomach and winced. "Bitch—"

Gon snorted at the scene, still standing like a mountain despite all the juggling of the truck.

"No, I don't have a pistol in my anus. But, I have this." Killua said, sticking his tongue out to reveal a small tongue-piercing. Gon was in awe, he doesn't remember that from their night—maybe because it is too small.

"Oh, wow. I— That's cool, not going to lie." Caleb said, still rubbing his stomach. 

Killua turned away, sulking that he had to reveal something about himself. He also had nipple piercings before, but he hadn't put them ever since his breakup with Liam. They hadn’t done a thing, but Killua was preparing for it, thinking that they’ll last forever.

"So, whoever convinced the peeps here used a metal detector instead of an actual  _ plague _ detector. They're just trying to calm the citizens down by using lies, rumors." Gon said, diving his fingers into his dark spikes. They weren't as spiky as the day before. They were messy, one spike pointing towards a different direction. They weren't as fluffy as Killua's, but they were sexy in Killua's perspective. He loved how sexy Gon is.

"That's very much it. Weird flex." Caleb mumbled, finally leaving Killua alone and standing up. He scares the shit out of Killua sometimes—trying to get  _ that _ close.

The shelters, there in front of them. They climbed down the truck, looking at the bunch of tents under the little amount of snow. It rarely snows in New Risal, which is good. Gon walked forward, meeting up with Will and Ray. They were all directed to a tent, great in size, to rest as a full party altogether. 

On the contrary, Killua walked around the place for a minute. He was looking at the tents everywhere. They are the survivors of the city he lived in and the second city in this row. The tents, tarnished in the blue and white symbols of the refugee protection services, were distributed all around the majuscule area. 

On his right, a veiled-in-black lady, holding a little baby within her arms. And on his left, a teenager with a man looking ossified as if they lost someone in front of their eyes before fleeing—as if they witnessed death in a minute. 

Killua's breath evaporated visibly in front of him due to the chilly, cold temperature. He clutched Gon's jacket to nuzzle in it, then zipped it fully to cover his vibrating chest. He might catch a cold, and it is not the best time to catch a cold. Finally, he decided to get inside the tent, where the familiar acquaintances are resting. He feels drained from all the emotions; the lack of routine is draining too. He doesn't know when he'd rest peacefully, not temporarily as if he'd be attacked by  _ something _ at any given moment. 

The conversation was going, and Killua caught a snippet of what William was instructing. In the middle of the tent, the soldiers sat idly, listening to their leader. On the other hand, the survivors scattered all over the tent, but their ears were preoccupied with William's subjects. Killua was also interested, so he joined the soldiers in the middle of the tent, to complete the circle and be as close as possible to the source of knowledge, William.

"I was firing until I had to reload. But, the infected man didn't die." Gon explained, "Instead, he was numbed? Like, he couldn't move since the bullets pierced through his main nerves, I think."

"Technically, the infected are dead people." Ray deadpanned. "So, I really don't think it is great to use the phrase,  _ I tried to kill him, but he's not dying. _ " Again, Ray objected.

"Bruh, just shut up. We know that they are dead, but they're also alive! The humans are dead, the virus is alive. We need to kill that motherfucker, or I'm trapping myself in a bar and drinking until I die of toxicity." Caleb dramatically yelled, making Killua's lips twitch. He wanted to laugh so badly, but he's also too tired. 

"If you decided to go to the bar, remember me. I'm an alcoholic, who'd like to die drinking." Killua mumbled so Caleb winked at him humorously.

"Great, we are partners on the drinking table." Caleb raised his hand, and he high-fived Killua's. Gon just rolled his eyes, focusing on William, who was waiting to continue.

"Weapons aren't effective. They barely help." Gon cut off the idle conversation, seeking the main topic again.

"Very true. I know what we should use to effectively and permanently exterminate the virus." Said, William. His heavy, scratchy tone dimmed the idle conversations of the survivors all around their tent. They were all ears, listening to Williams' follow-up confession. "To exterminate the virus, we have to exterminate the whole body." Gon frowned, but Will continued. "Just think about it, Gon. You told me that even when you fired on the infected man's neck, he continued walking, head slumped on his back. Neither the brain nor the heart is the issue. In fact, we don't really know what's the biggest weak point, so we have to exterminate everything."

Gon's breath trembled next to Killua, who eyed him worriedly from the corners of his eyes. "Are you suggesting that we use melting substances such as acid?" Gon mumbled, looking at William knowingly. The oldest hummed, clarifying his acceptance with a nod.

He knew about that before he retired when he had the upper hand at viewing the invention of this project, this weapon. "We need bullets full of acid." Will demonstrated, giving some time for Gon to think. "We have to find a way to make those real, Kids. The acid would give the best results."

"And burn humanity." Gon mumbled. "Burn the people of Savil."

"Gon, they're dead. In the worst cases, they'd be suffering and waiting to be killed. No one knows if they can view what's happening to them." William said. Logically, it is not possible, but Will wanted to convince Gon and make sure he wouldn't do something reckless because of his patriotism.

"Is there any temporary solution until we're able to find a way to invent these bullets?" Gon blurted, trying to be transparent over the topic and not to go personal by his own beliefs and ideas.

"Yes. Betadine." William answered bluntly, a heavy sigh following after.

"How—"

"This virus is practically all about the excessive attraction of different bacteria to form a conglomerate as a barrier around the dead body. This explains the flesh going all rotten too. And to disassemble it, we have to use betadine. It is a strong fighter against those kinds of bacteria. However, it is temporary and the result is nowhere near the acid results; it might not work when the virus is too strong such as at night."

Gon rubbed his face with his palms as if it would help him to erase all the anxiety he's feeling. Nonetheless, Killua was interested in this, everything about it. It is overwhelming, tiresome, and perhaps prohibited—but he likes it. It was highly interesting to his curious soul.

There wasn't any clock nearby, but in their heads, the sound of tik-toking was loud when soldiers ran into the refugee's area, screaming and yelling for everyone to run and take shelter. The survivors' tent was silent because everyone's mentality was screaming knowingly…

_ Zombies broke into New Risal, breaking the barrier between it and the previous city. _

The screaming silence was uplifted due to the manic screams of the survivors followed by hysteric growling, screams of pain,  **_chaos._ **

Gon was the first one to jump and run out of the tent, followed by the soldiers and the survivors of Savil respectively. They have to run away. Gon jumped into the truck, throwing weapons in everyone's hands to protect themselves. Ray ran to the driver's seat, his hat fell off and his red hair swayed in the winter breeze. 

Although everyone sought the protection of the truck, Killua was different. He held on to his gun, running directly towards the commotion. He wasn't spotted by his peeps when he ran far and far away. What he aimed for was something different; he aimed for that pharmacy before his vision. It wasn't that far, but it wasn't that close either. He has to put his hands on that betadine if they need to get out of this safely.

Alas, a zombie blocked his path, choosing to block Killua's amongst all the chaos. Killua had to stop harshly and point his gun at the rotten man; his face was peeling off, getting darker-greyish like the color of rubbish. His eyes were crystallized, white like mirrors and crystals with no pupils, and his teeth were bloody, hands slumped, and back bent. He growled, walking forward. Killua's hand trembled as he hoisted his gun straight to the man's head. He needed to fire to protect himself. One bullet won't be enough to numb his movement, he knows. He gulped, clutching the gun with both of his hands, and shot. It fired, making a disastrous sound to Killua's ears. He fired and fired until he needed to reload. Luckily, the zombie was numb on the ground, but Killua couldn't be happy since another one jumped on him and was ready to bite him like a tasty grand meal on a Christmas supper.

"Fuck!" Killua slurred, forcing a distance between the zombie's bloody teeth and his face, noting that he lost his gun after the fall. Little droplets of blood fell on Killua's cheek while the zombie tried moving. However, Killua was blocking him while using one of his self-defense techniques.

It doesn't matter how heavy your opponent is as long as you straighten your arms, put your widespread palms on the bones in front of the shoulder to keep the distance. His next move should be professionally sliding a leg to slide underneath and run, but he couldn't with the zombie moving vociferously. This caused his arms to tremble; in self-defense, your arms should not tremble, should not be bent. Killua knows it is the end, eyes bawling in tears, but eyebrows are furrowing agonizingly. He was trying to hold back until his last breath, not to die and feel useless even in his end.

Suddenly, like in wonderlands, someone fired. The sound of the revving familiar truck soothed Killua's screaming insides. He was closing his eyes when some of the blood splattered on his face. The corpse was heavily lifted off of him, saving his arms the agony of clutching a moving corpse.

Someone lifted him upon all the surrounding chaos, Killua wasn't able to move. His arms were still as if his nerves froze. He was hoisted on someone's shoulder, but he didn't dare to open his eyes because of how scary it was to be so close to a zombie. "It's okay, you're safe." The familiar trembling voice echoed in his alerted ears. "I'm Gon." Killua was mute at the moment, and Gon didn't bother because he was running to reach the truck. Chaos is everywhere—Rotten flesh is everywhere too.

Gon jumped inside the truck, ushering his co-soldier to shut the doors. Gon set down the albino on his feet, and Killua looked paralyzed. The sergeant of the party didn't care; he didn't care about Killua's shock, shocking him further. He directly undressed Killua's turtleneck, forcing the jacket and the shirt off. He was piercing his gaze like a lion.

Killua was staring at Gon fearfully, tongue-tied by everything he's encountering. Gon was undressing him under the gaze of Caleb, under the gaze of all the survivors. Gon just didn't care about him, so he was able to humiliate him just like that.

He stayed naked for a shocking moment. His brain froze, looking at Gon who was scrutinizing, investigating, and piercing his gaze on him just the way he did to palm. Caleb's boots echoed through as he passed both of them and headed towards the supplies. On the contrary, Gon let out a sigh, relieved about something, but Killua couldn't understand.

"The blood on his face is far away from any holes. He's not infected…" Gon reported, although it wasn't as precise as his report about Palm when she was rescued. He just wanted to rescue the albino, to believe in him.

Killua's knees gave up, so he fell down. Caleb came back with a white sweater, navy pants, and a piece of clothes. "Should I help him? He's not okay." Caleb mumbled when Gon tried giving the clothes to Killua, who was trying to wear his underwear back on like someone who's been traumatized for ages. He's just mortified, extremely mortified; that's beyond mortifying to him. He wasn't able to listen to them. 

Gon shook his head. "I'll do it. Just toss these away." Gon shimmered for Killua's stained clothes, taking the piece of cloth and forcing Killua to look at him by the chin. He wiped his face smoothly and calmly since he couldn't afford to freak the tense boy out. He looked on the verge of a panic attack, so Gon was trying to be considerate. He helped him wear the clothes, steadying him and helping him to sit down.

Hand on his shoulder, and another grasping his arm. Gon led Killua to the wall of the truck to rest. He slumped down, half-paralyzed with events. Gon couldn’t leave him alone, so he had to be next to him. He sat down, eyeing Killua worriedly. The rigid breaths of the albino caught his eyes, but he didn’t do anything, he didn’t yell for his co-soldier and tell him that something was wrong. It might be the trauma only, right? 

Suddenly, Killua’s head slumped down on Gon’s muscular shoulder. It startled him slightly, but Gon was able to notice Killua's calm breath. The boy slept, which indicated how tired he is from all of these events. He was worried, so his palm crept to Killua's forehead. His temperature was normal, nothing's scary.

Normally, before turning, the person would get a very high temperature, over 40°C. Everything's fine as far as staying on the safety line.

On the other hand, Caleb was passing by and making sure that everyone was safe and sound. His sharp, dark eyes calculated Gon's protective gaze over the tired, sleeping young adult. He tilted his head, a lip was pursed, and an eyebrow was raised.

His curiosity was over the top since he's been with Gon since they were 18—since they were cadets. Gon never showed any interest in anyone, even when he went out for a night with someone, even when he discovered that he's gay, he didn't show any interest in the people he dated.

Caleb thought that it was just Gon's personality, but he was now looking at the same man being overprotective to a boy he rescued(?) 

No, he recalls that when they met Gon, Killua was with him from the beginning. He couldn't but come closer, startling Gon who was checking Killua's temperature again and again non-stop. "Is something wrong with his temperature?" Caleb asked, squinting his eyes at Gon, who was trying to hide his nervousness due to him knowing about Caleb's piercing gaze and his ability to read eyes language. "Just making sure he's not having a fever."

"You're checking his fever for the fifth time since I came to this side of the truck."

"Better aware than sorry." Gon directly replied, not averting his gaze as if challenging Caleb who sighed and crouched down.

"Is he your boyfriend?" He finally asked, curiosity seeping through his eyes as he stared at Gon's complex features.

"Why do you think like that?" Gon asked, slightly turning pink at Caleb's overflowed curiosity.

"Maybe because you were ready to jump for his rescue although we were surrounded by a big ass pile of rotten flesh—" Gon was going to object, but Caleb raised his voice while talking not to be interrupted. "—Or maybe because Will told you it is too late, but you didn't listen although you're the one who told everyone to listen strictly to Will's orders to survive?" Caleb's tone was full of mockery; his tone was also talking, telling Gon that Caleb knows, he  _ knows _ , stop thinking he's an idiot. 

"Don't let your ideas take you away like that." Gon excused. "I'm just doing my duty. I can't leave someone there when he needs my protection—"

"Gon." Caleb cut off sternly. "Don't you play like a brat? You left the previous person, who was in the same condition as Killua when Will told you it was too late. They were in the same fricken positions. Let's not play dumb." Caleb looked away, a little upset that Gon was hiding things from him. "The two of you really suit each other as well. I kinda sense the chemistry."

Despite Caleb's nice words, in the end, Gon  _ had to _ protest and defend his position—he completely ignored the chemistry part, still trying to be defiant. "That man was bitten!" Protested Gon.

"Correction, he was bitten after you agreed to leave him."

Gon slumped down, looking at Caleb's stern gaze. He puffed his cheeks, rolled his eyes, and talked smoothly again not to wake the man who's sleeping on his shoulder. "You have to make me succumb to your military temptations and interrogations and persona, fuck ya."

Caleb snorted, smugly staring at Gon who was ready to confess. "Well, he's not my boyfriend, but I do have a thing or two for him. I don't understand it myself, but I know that I don't want his presence to leave mine yet."

"I see." He rubbed his chin, then smirked at Gon who sighed dramatically in reverse. "He's a cute one, Gon. That's a good choice. But, he's feisty, so good luck." Caleb put his hands on his neck, acting like choking, rolling his eyes, and sticking his tongue out, which made Gon snort lightly. Caleb tried to let Gon know that Killua is too bad, which makes Caleb choke; he was joking, but it was funny to Gon.

While they were at it, the truck was hitting a few zombies on its way, making the truck jolt each time as if bumping on a rock. It started to do a grumbling, weird, sound, which alerted everyone and scared them to death. As expected, all it needed was a half-minute to descend to a halt. It stopped working, even when ray was doing his best to make it work again.

The sudden halt of the truck put the survivors in the eye-sight of the infected people, who were able to break the doors and surround the truck menacingly, needing that flesh to bite and munch on. It was too overwhelming, too frightening, too unholy, making almost everyone run and jump before the zombie's pile even more. There is an escape now, but there wouldn't be any in another minute of how fast and great in numbers the zombies are.

Gon and Killua, who was awakened by all the chaos, ran to reload the weapons and use the ready ones to fight. One of the zombies nearly grabbed Killua, but Caleb pushed him harshly to fall off a few steps deeper into the truck. Killua yelped, then adjusted his vision to see Caleb firing on the zombies—the albino didn’t waste any time, so he jumped to reload a gun. The commotion was disheartening, especially when Caleb turned with an unreadable smile—that smile that Gon recognized as a goodbye smile every soldier does when he sacrifices himself for his country. Nonetheless, this time, Caleb the soldier is going to sacrifice his life for humanity. His smile talked to Gon. The message was emitted through that smile, telling Gon to win this fight, telling Killua to be strong.

It was just a second, but it felt like an eternity, and they were snapped off their pale-shock when Caleb turned to Killua after his gun was emptied. In a flying second, Caleb managed to ask, "Am I still a selfish coward to you?" Killua knew what Caleb was talking about. That time where he called him a coward for allowing Gon to fight alone, to rescue Palm the pregger. He didn't have the time to reply since a zombie was capable of biting Caleb's shoulder, snatching his flesh vociferously with his stained blood teeth. Caleb thunderously screamed, succumbing to the end of his life in front of his best friend, Gon.

At the thundering scream of Caleb, Killua's gun fell off his hands. He was highly shocked, he never expected to see someone he knows die. He never imagined although the risks were high. He never thought it would be  _ this _ painful,  _ that _ terrifying. He wanted to look at Gon since he lost the track of time, but the latter didn't give him the chance since he grabbed his hand to run. On their way, they noticed someone was still in the truck, huddled in the corner silently; Oh, Palm. They clutched her hand, not looking at the shivering, transforming corpse of their dear, protective, honorable friend—they couldn't see this, they're in no need to see this.

Running towards the entrance crazily, Gon stepped on one of the zombies' heads who was trying to jump inside and they jumped off the truck to be exposed in the turbulent street. On their side was the woman who had a child, but she was clutched by a zombie as she screamed, witnessing her beloved child being torn apart by the teeth of the zombies. Hearing her child's screams, seeing his blood, witnessing his death, Gon knew it was too late…

Killua choked agonizingly as he observed, pushing to run for her aid, but Gon tightened his grip, shook his head, and gave Killua a meaningful stare. Killua understood that  _ it was too late _ . 

_ It is better for her to die than live off with that memory. _

Gon ran, helping Palm with Killua's aid until they found a green Kia car. Not the ideal way to push through the zombies, but it was their last chance. Gon's eyes glimmered at the front seats of the truck as he bypassed them, to see William and Ray struggling with the zombies. Gon's eyes interlocked with Will's in fear, so Will had to yell. "RUN FASTER, BITCH! WE ARE ALRIGHT!"

Gon looked away, gritting his teeth and running faster towards the opened door of the Kia car. It was abandoned amidst the chaos, and there is a reason why.

Gon jumped into the driver's seat, followed by Killua and Palm into the backseats. Gon pressed the pedals, twisted the keys, and listened to the engine roaring then dying again. He did it over and over again, cursing under his breath every time it died. They were surrounded by zombies, where a zombie scared Killua by bumping his face onto his closed window.

Gon clicked his tongue, noticing a zombie nearby his window too. One second after, the zombie shattered Gon's window by hitting his head harshly. Palm screamed when the glass shattered all over Gon, and Killua gasped loudly, lips drying and eyes widening in fear. Luckily, Gon's reflexes were fast as he blocked his head and face with his arm, the one he had injured while rescuing Palm—the one that Killua bandaged for him. He turned to the zombie that growled loudly and nearly bit Gon's arm. Gon laid fast on the seats to avoid the bite, while Killua put an eye on the zombie next to his window, not to be taken off-guard.

Palm was murmuring hysterically, murmuring nonsense. Contrarily, Gon raised his leg and kicked the zombie off his window, which sent his tumbling over his own feet and falling off, taking a few zombies down with him. "Guys, make sure to block your ears with anything and tightly… I will do something crazy, and after that, do everything to run away." Gon alerted, but Killua screamed directly before Gon could jump off the car.

"STOP!"

His call was ignored since Gon was already out of the car. Palm bent her head down, blocking her ears tightly and obeying what Gon commanded her to do. However, Killua was looking fearfully at Gon like a naked human walking against a blizzard, facing all the zombies without a single weapon. Surprisingly, Gon had something in handy if he encountered this situation. He pulled out a  _ stun grenade _ , looking back towards the duo he's protecting.  _ Why do they always sacrifice themselves for people? _ Killua thought.

He directly blocked his ears just a second before the blasting, horrific, and frightening sound of the sound blast. Everything was vibrating. Killua and Palm were screaming in pain, there, and they closed their eyes once their vision became color blotches as if they were losing their eye-sight. The ringing sound needed a moment to stop as it flexed and spread for a great range. Afterward, everything was calm and peaceful. There wasn't any sound except for Palm's and Killua's breathing. 

Killua finally opened his eyes to allow his vision to adjust again. He was extremely dizzy, and he wondered how would Gon risk it that much when he knows it might hurt them too. Was it really their last chance?

Suddenly, something harshly bumped into the car, so Killua looked up to see Gon's figure falling down to the ground. "Oh, God. Fuck." He also noticed how the zombies were solidified, like giving them a shock enough to become statue-like. Killua didn't know how much time they had before running away, but he will do his best to rescue Gon.

He is not going to give up on someone this suicidal just to get his pale ass out of this situation. He doesn't approve of Gon's protection when he has to leave him behind. He doesn’t wanna stay alone and live alone amongst the rotten flesh!

Jumping off the car, Killua ran towards Gon and sank his arms under Gon's armpits. Palm was confused, but she opened her door, so she could help Killua to put Gon back in the car. "Are we leaving him in the car?! Where would we go?!"

"I'm not leaving him!! If you want, you can leave! But I'm not leaving the person who is rescuing us non-stop!" Killua yelled back, lifting Gon with all of his might. But, damn. Gon is a muscled piece of shit. 

Finally, after draining half of his power, Killua put Gon into the backseat car, and Palm helped to get him fully inside. That's when Killua calculated mentally to have at least five minutes to fix the car before the zombies started moving again. He opened the bunk and looked through it confusedly. Yes, he has a driving permit, but he's not a fucking technician. "Fuck this shit. What should I do, fuck. Damn it." He slurred under his breath, looking at the complicated structure of the car.

"Someone needs my help?" 

Killua jumped at the voice, warily looking at the tall and thin man, who approached Killua with a small bag hoisted on his arm. "A-Are you a zombie?" Stupid question.

"No, I'm Leorio." Leorio pushed Killua aside, then gave the car a look. "Leave this to the professionals and go sit on the driver's seat. Press the gas pedal once I give you the sign." Killua didn't hesitate since he knew their time was tight.

He ran back to the driver's seat, looking back at Leorio and panting. The adrenaline was high, and the time was like a rope around everyone's neck at the moment. "NOW!" Killua twisted the keys and pressed the gas pedal. The car revved but shut down again.

Zombies stirred all around the car. "LEORIO!" Killua directly yelled in fear, sweat was rolling off his forehead although it was cold. He yelled as if he knew Leorio for ages.

"FUCK! SHUT UP! I'M WORKING!" After a second, Leorio yelled again. "NOW!"

Killua twisted the keys, pressing on the pedal and revving the engine back to life. He grinned and jumped to the backseat when Palm sat on the passenger seat, leaving the driver seat to Leorio, who directly jumped inside and drove right before the zombies started walking again.

Killua exhaled in relief, his eyebrows dancing up and down because his nerves were completely wrecked. They survived it, all because of Gon—all because they cooperated.

He put Gon's head on his thigh to have space to sit, sifting through Gon's hair to notice his pained features. Gon was breathing but he was unconscious—he was bleeding. His ears must be corrupted, which scared Killua dearly. He noticed how they bled, so Killua had to react fast. "Leorio! DRIVE TO THE NEAREST PHARMACY!"

Leorio looked at Killua's complexion in his rearview, then turned back to the road all riled up. "YEEEE! TO THE PHARMACY!" That's how he accelerated, risking the not so strong Kia to flip at the high speed.


	8. Stuck Together Till Forever

**PART II: THE TRIP TO HAVEN**

Pupils were retracting, irises were widening, all due to witnessing Gon’s ears bleeding. Killua’s heart grappled amongst the beats with something way too surreal. He wrestled the tragedy of Gon’s situation to clamp into the idea of rescuing this stranger. Since the day they met, he wasn’t but a weight on Gon’s shoulders — specifically Gon. There wasn’t a reason, nor a fact of why Gon was protecting him. 

Alas, he didn’t weigh on Gon only. He felt worthless when Caleb took the front view by pushing him aside because he’s now dead. Being protected by everyone like a prince although he doesn’t have such a privilege. Even when everyone around him was dying, even when he ran to be someone worthy and grab Betadine from the nearby pharmacy, luck had chosen him to be protected amongst the chaos of dead flesh. He should be grateful, joyous to be _that_ lucky, but he felt like an obstacle. Gon’s now in a horrendous condition because of him. He knew that if he didn’t exist, Gon would’ve fled without a single injury. 

Leorio was riding like a rocket, which gave Killua the heads up that he’s a resident in New Risal. They thought they'd be rescued in this city that suddenly turned from paradise to hell. “There is a pharmacy nearby, boy.” 

“Killua.” 

“Yeah, Killua. But the place is packed with these insane hungry shitheads. What are we going to do?” Leorio questioned, eyes glimmering at Killua’s dull and sullen look by the rearview. “Is he going to make it?” He was trying to eye the injury of Gon, but it wasn’t that visible for him, so he asked. Killua chewed his inner cheek once the effects of a stun grenade information flashed through his eyes. 

“His ears are bleeding, and in that case, I’m worried his ears are permanently damaged,” Killua mumbled, the words barely made it out of his vocal cords.

“Why be negative?” Leorio suddenly asked. “Flashbangs mostly cause permanent hearing damage if he was close to it…” Killua bit his cheek harder at Leorio’s comment, tasting his blood due to over chewing his cheek. 

“He was exclusively close to it. We, even, were close enough. I’m also affected by the tinnitus in my ears now and I wasn’t even as close as him, covering my ears and protected by the car…” Killua trailed off, worry was clothing him like a visible coat. 

“True, but he wasn’t that far either. I wasn’t that far either, and I’m suffering from tinnitus as well. If we were lucky, the man would get a temporary threshold shift deep within his ears. A temporary threshold shift is a temporary shift in the auditory threshold that may occur suddenly after exposure to a high level of noise, a situation in which most people experience reduced hearing. The worst-case would be losing his hearing permanently due to the threshold shift.” Killua scrutinized Leorio by looking at him from the mirror, wondering how’d he knew such a piece of deep information about his medical studies.

“You’re a medical studies student?” Killua asked right when Leorio halted behind a building. He turned to Killua with a smile before looking down at Gon’s scrunched features — the ones devoured by sweat and agony. 

“I’m a doctor, nice to meet you.” Killua’s eyes lucidly widened, joyously staring at Leorio, who appeared as his new source of hope. 

“What kind of medicine does he need? What Should I bring?” Those two years, Killua felt as if they went with the wind when he couldn’t solve the riddle of Gon’s auditory problem. No one could blame him, he didn’t study that far into the auditory sensations. 

Leorio turned back to the road although the Kia wasn’t moving. His facials were content, sinking into another world that seemed appealing to Killua. He patiently waited behind, absentmindedly stroking Gon’s strands, until the answer found his ears. “Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen for his discomfort. They’ll help ease the pain.” He went silent again, but Killua didn’t interrupt. He hoped that Leorio would find something to treat Gon’s hearing in case it was permanent even though he knew that’s a dream. “We have to move to a silent place afterward because your man needs that when he’s conscious.” The last sentence was soft, pitiful. It was telling Killua that there is nothing else they could do but take Gon to a calm place where he could recover. 

Killua decided not to dwell on it because he had some knowledge about it as well. “Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen. Got it. Anything else?” His voice croaked, but Leorio replied with a simple _nothing._ So, Killua opened the door to give him the last look. “Fifteen minutes at most. If I don’t come back, leave.” He didn’t wait for a reply before jumping out of the car towards the next street. 

He inspected the road on both of his sides, running to the pharmacy where the infected ignored. They were everywhere except the pharmacy. Maybe, as William said, it is a weak spot for the infected. If their sense of smell is strong, they might’ve gotten the _idea_ of how dangerous pharmacies are because of the existence of Betadine. He opened the door, but the sounds of the shards shattering attracted a few bloody ears. Killua cursed lightly, running inside the pharmacy. He has less than fifteen minutes before Leorio accelerates away. 

He searched the stands for the medicine Leorio prescribed, but he wasn’t fast enough when some of the infected followed him. His head turned, breath clogged in his trachea when his eyes met the crystallized one of a zombie woman. She was struggling to move with her tight-torn skirt, so Killua took the chance to run to the second floor — where medical stocks were stored. He searched the countless boxes for Betadine, hoping that the woman can’t climb the stairs. As far as he knew, they got stronger at night. Dusk is illuminating into the tight floor, glimmering into the beads of Killua’s sweat. He was turning to the stairs each time he picked up a box. He was worried that she could climb and his expectations were right. Just like the one they faced at the motel, the woman climbed on fours — hands and legs to the ground like a wild animal.

Killua protectively took a step back with a box full of Betadine. The woman growled and was ready to jump, so Killua did the first attack. He threw a bottle of Betadine on her face, so she growled menacingly. Killua didn’t have the time to dodge when she staggered and clawed her way on top of him. They fell on the ground with loud thumps and grunts and the shattering of the bottles, Killua’s arms defensively forcing her apart from him. This time, his self-defense move shouldn’t fail him because there is someone who needs him. He wouldn’t just surrender when Gon’s out there bearing the pain after protecting him countless times. “You piece of junk.” He mumbled, hands trembling again at the lifted heavyweight. She growled upon hearing Killua’s hisses. He wriggled his butt underneath the heavy woman, forcing himself to lie like a bent ruler. His arms were forcing the weight of the woman to the next side of his body as she thrashed with her strong teeth to bite him off. Since he's aware of the infected’s attacking method now, it wasn’t that hard to break free from her grasp, throwing her aside to maintain his balance. The ringing of his ears, tinnitus, from the previous stun grenade, dimmed down, so everything was back to his advantage. Clutching one of the fallen betadine bottles, Killua aimed for the woman’s head again. He couldn’t miss that wail of pain from the first hit. She ran towards him, but Killua’s reflexes repositioned his body into a self-defensive attack, aiming for the weakest spot in her body; genitalia. He raised his thigh in mid-air, then kicked high where it hurts. 

The dead woman staggered a few feet back when Killua kicked her crotch, arm hoisted with the opened bottle. “Could you rest in peace, old hag?” He mumbled, throwing the liquid out of the bottle after waving it in front of her. The betadine was absorbed by her skin, so she wailed monstrously. Killua took a step back, looking at her with stunning features when grey smoke reverberated from her greyish skin. He stared in awe until she fell motionless on the floor. Silence penetrated around him, looking all around the broken betadine bottles. When she pushed him, the box had fallen and crashed to the ground. There wasn’t a time for taking the scene in, jumping over the woman to dig into the boxes again. Once he found a small box of betadine, he trotted down to clutch another bottle of Ibuprofen.

Someone else who’s infected was within the pharmacy range, but he didn’t seem to catch Killua. He took that to his advantage, walking as stealthily as possible towards the place Leorio parked in. No one. There wasn’t any…

Leorio left. 

Killua stared at the empty road, where he thought he’d find the doctor waiting for him, going back to Gon. He’s sure that it wasn’t fifteen minutes, but Leorio just left. Whether he encountered a problem while waiting, or drove off out of fear, Killua’s ended alone in a district full of zombies. 

The shock was ringing, but his brain was absorbing it still. It wasn’t fully absorbed until he was surrounded by bloody flesh all around. He never noticed because he let his guard down. Grip tightening on the box, he knew that it shouldn’t be the end. It is easy to submit, it is easy to give up. It is easy to commit suicide in a situation like this, but it is not easy to move forward. Killua never meant to take easy roads, and Gon’s amber eyes stuck into his brain as if calling him back. For a little moment, Killua felt how much he craves living now — he couldn’t call that a reason, but he wants to live another day with Gon. 

Absorbing the fact in a rush, Killua’s eyes brimmed with tears and eyebrows knitted down confidently. If he’s going to die, he’s dying while taking a few with him. He popped one of the bottles open right when a man limped with a great speed. He was followed by others, but Killua focused on the nearest, throwing the liquid all over him to take effect. Once he held one back, he turned to the other, and the other, and the other. The betadine’s effect dimmed down during the dimming of the sun as it set. He found an opening when the infected struggled to obtain movement again, so he slipped by hitting the one in front of him with his shoulder like a football player. It was hard as a rock, their first touch, and Killua’s shoulder was obscured with pain. The box fell off his hands and he looked behind him as he ran, then back to the front while securing Gon’s medicine and a bottle of betadine in his pocket. He made sure to have a plan B if he lost the box anyway. He could hear the running and growls of the rotten flesh following him. They’re running like a human, just broken limbs limping in case they had any. 

Subsequently, he spotted a building and it wasn’t too shabby. There wasn’t a time to change routes since the left and the right to him were cramped by these bugs. He had one road, which is climbing the whole way up and hoping to escape the _Swarm_. “God.” He mumbled, finally approaching the metal gate and forcing it close. He ran up the abandoned stairs, hearing the infected pile on the gate of the building. He didn’t stop. He shouldn’t because his time is tight. Approaching the last his feet could reach, he closed the metal doors of the cement roof and slid down to catch his breath. 

Everything is traumatizing, life's been traumatizing but to this extent?! 

He never knew that things would’ve gotten worse and even if they got better, images will haunt him at night like a ghost. No one who lived through this crisis will be able to forget it. He shut his eyes to focus on his breathing. Hyperventilating due to excessive activity and fear. The rush of adrenaline was excessive, everything was excessive. 

And since nothing was good in life, not even a small miracle, the doors received monstrous knocks. Killua’s eyes widened, and his lips were dry. He didn’t notice the dryness of his lips until this moment, how much he’s craving water. Fantasizing about water was the least of his worries, especially when monsters were trying to knock off the door of the roof.

He gathered what’s left of his energy to sprint to the edge, where he looked down at how high he was above the ground. He was put into two decisions: Jumping off and submitting to the zombies. He had to choose one and be fast because the infected knocked off the door and scampered around. Killua turned to look at them, then looked down to the new hope — A wide balcony. He didn’t think twice after looking into it since he preferred jumping and dying over turning into a zombie. So he jumped.

With a foot pressed to the mid-length edge, he jumped athletically, hands raised to the front to grab the railings. Finally, he bumped down, using his legs to push himself up and into the floor of the balcony. He inhaled once his body laid on the cold floor, listening to his hammering heartbeats as they thumped. He knew that he should move this instant, but every muscle in his body was flexing. They were trembling, his joints felt stiff under the cold and his fingers were chilled that they became numb. He moved his neck to the left, so he could help himself up, but that’s how he noticed a family of four huddled on each other and looking at Killua in fear. They were looking at him as if he was one of those creatures, but the danger was still up there, looking down at Killua before they dared to stand on the edge. 

When Killua spotted the reaction, his sense of movement involuntarily kicked in, so he ran and opened the glass door to be inside the living room with the family. “We have to flee, fast!” He didn’t have to explain himself since some of the infected succeeded with their jump. The father of the two boys carried one, while the shorter madame carried the other. They ran together manically to find a way to flee, but the creatures were already outside their front door. “There is no way!” The mother screeched, tightening her grip on the younger boy. 

“Mom? The kitchen’s ladders are working? I used to run away from you when you’re angry by using these…” The younger boy questioned, adding knowledge to the adults and lightning a new hope. 

The door of the living room burst right when they ran to the kitchen. Killua yelled for the family to run before him, so he could distract the zombies. He locked the door of the kitchen and flinched when something hard bumped on it. “Fuck.” Running to the table, He flipped it to the door, letting the little vase crash on the ground. “Fuck…” His profanities escaped his behaving lips while moving the chairs to block the door. 

“Child!” The father yelled for Killua, already passed his wife and children to safety. Killua turned, accepting the hand of the youthful man to climb out of the window. They went together down the emergency stairs, the man’s wife and children were ahead by two stages. Once they reached the final stage, The man jumped before his wife and raised his head high. Killua carried the younger child and threw him to his dad, ignoring how horrible he was screaming. The other boy jumped down alone without fear, then Killua helped the wife to jump into her husband’s embrace. They’re a young married couple, indeed. He jumped down once the man moved for space, then stared at each other. “Thank you…” He mumbled, the sense of gratitude emitted from his tone. Killua repaid the kind gesture, looking around the place. 

“We need a car to leave… It is dangerous right there…” Killua looked around, but they shouldn’t break a car to come inside because this will attract a lot of zombies. 

“I have my car, and I have the keys too.” The man said with a genuine smile as if all of their problems were solved. He pointed at his car at the far end of the parking lot, where a zombie blocked their sight of the blue Honda. “Oh, no.” He mumbled when three infected people saw them nearby, changing routes to run for them. 

However, they didn’t have the time to react when a sudden red Ferrari ran into them, smashing one under its wheel while two of them flew a few yards. Killua gasped along with the children, the woman was clutching the arm of her husband, who was also in deep shock. Killua turned to them, trying to shake them back to reality. “No time for standing! Let’s go!” He took the chance of the distraction the red Ferrari had done, so they could leap towards the old honda. 

“Oh, thank god…” Killua mumbled, resting his sore muscles into the passenger seat, while the wife with her children got into the back seat. “Please be fast…” 

The man turned to Killua as if he’s fighting himself and his beliefs. As if the man never went above the average while riding. But the blaze in his eyes spoke it all, how he’s gonna get that call of adventure to rescue who mattered for him the most. Killua felt warm, putting his hand to secure the two bottles that left. He stopped the involuntary action of biting his abused cheek once his muscles found their peace. The man accelerated to be followed by the Ferrari, but no one cared for now. They only care about getting out of this hell, to another hell…

Killua sank into his seat and stared at the empty road ahead. His lips were cracked and exhaustion was starting to take into him. “You could sleep if you want. I will wake you up if something happens.” The man turned to Killua, suspecting the tired look on his face. He was weary with an injured shoulder, droopy eyes, and thirsty lips. The offer was so tempting, but the situation right there is threatening the boy. “I’m Wing, by the way.” Killua turned with a smile to the man next to him, nodding his head tiredly before closing his eyes to be enveloped by darkness.

Night had fallen into the sky when Killua was curled up in the seat. Wing had stopped to fill his car with gas and break the glass of the locked fridge to take the bottles of water and the snacks. They need the fuel for the car and their bodies to continue, but Wing doesn’t even know where they should go when everyone is hungry for flesh. He returned to the car and handed his children and wife bottles of water, then eyes the sleeping albino. “Hey, are you thirsty?” He shook him lightly, so Killua moaned as if in pain. Slowly and quietly, he fluttered his eyes open to stare sleepily at Wing. His eyebrows knitted lightly as if asking Wing _Why did you wake me up_ , and he answered by looking at the bottle of water.

“Oh, for me?” Killua mumbled, rubbing his eyes then clutching his shoulder in pain. Wing handed him the bottle, but the pain wasn’t gone unnoticed. “Thank you.” 

“Are you okay?” He asked, so Killua waved his hands dismissively. He forced himself to sit straight, wiping the sweat off his face although it was extremely chilly. Wing shut his door and rested inside next to the abandoned gas station. He waited for Killua to open his bottle and slurp down all the water without a second thought until he drained the last drop. He didn’t think if they had more in their pockets or not because he was extremely thirsty. “Where should we go?” Wing asked once he made sure that Killua’s eyes regained the sense of life. He looked lifeless curling in the seat like that, without food or water although Wing didn’t know. 

“I’m Killua. And we should go to my house in Padokea. I can’t think of any other safe place.” Killua hoarsely said, staring straight at the dark road. “We should take cover now. It is not safe to go anywhere at night. They get stronger…” Killua trailed off, drifting into another world that Wing described as pain. He was clutching his bicep tightly, raising the shoulder up and down as if it was becoming stiff. 

“Did you hit your arm?” Wing asked, looking around to find a place to camouflage their being.

“I think it is a little sore… Maybe I disjointed my shoulder when I jumped from the roof to the balcony.” That’s the first thought that crossed Killua’s mind. There is no way bumping into an infected person could cause an excessive amount of pain, or so he thought. Those things are dangerous, and Killua tried ignoring the idea of being injured because of one of them. 

“Alright, Killua. I hope it is nothing major. Should we park behind the gas station for camouflage?” Wing said, still looking around the jaded place. 

“Darkness is a good camouflage, but it would be better if we found some leaves to hide under…” While in pain, Killua’s voice croaked wistfully. Wing didn’t ask any longer and kicked the engine back to life, so he could ride somewhere inside the orchard. “I think we should sleep now. It is around nine or something…” Killua mumbled. Wing was grateful for Killua’s low voice, especially when his children were fast asleep. He looked at his wife, who eyes him tiredly to express how much she requires sleep right now. 

“Alright… You guys go and sleep. I will watch it around.” Wing didn’t have to say it twice, since everyone was asleep.

°•~~~•°

The next morning was followed by the blessing sun, the one that everyone craves for in an apocalypse like this. It is always to their advantage when it shines, leaving the zombies to suffer and the survivors to flee successfully. Killua yawned, but he was, somewhat, dull and heavy. He looked at Wing to see him sleeping although he promised to be on the lookout. Killua didn’t mind since they survived the night anyway. He looked behind him to see the three were also sleeping. 

He rested, patiently waiting for Wing to wake and look guilty for sleeping instead of watching. Killua told him that it was okay because the shock they had yesterday wasn’t good for their stamina anyway. They discussed the routes together where Wing told the young adult that there is McDonald’s nearby. They could take anything edible and drive out of here. New Risal is a huge city, and Killua assumes that there should be districts that fled before the huge incursion. “I think we should go to McDonald’s then…” Killua finalized their debate, so Wing roared the engine and drove forward. It was just a minute before the Ferrari joined again, startling Wing and Killua. “That car is still chasing us?” Killua muttered, looking at the mirror to see the familiar car. It is oddly familiar, enough to make Killua’s heartbeats drummed twice as fast. 

“Yeah. I thought the driver would just go when we stop here. Maybe they think we have a chance surviving this or—”

“—Or they know that it is better to be together in this situation rather than splitting up.” Killua continued, so Wing nodded. “I just need to wash up. I feel so filthy and I need to examine my shoulder because the pain is unbearable…” But now that his mind is a little clearer, he wondered how Gon is doing. He left him with a serious ear injury. Did Leorio throw them away after taking the car and fleeing? What about Palm? He doesn’t have a strong connection with her, but she’s one of the survivors of Savil, the city he lived in for two years… She’s also pregnant, and he hopes Leorio won’t be petty…

Speaking of the devil, Killua’s eyes widened, lips splitting apart when he spotted a familiar green Kia. “Stop! Stop!” Killua demanded, pointing at the green Kia who appeared to have two persons inside. Wing parked right behind it and Killua ran out of the car. His feet thud on the dirt, running towards the green Kia and in his mind was only one person: Gon. 

He stood face to face with Kia’s door, spotting the tired look on Gon’s conscious face as he was taking the whole backseat to lay down. He opened it to startle Palm who turned to look at the source of the voice. Gon turned, but he seemed shocked to see Killua’s face all of a sudden. “Gon… You’re alive.” 

“We are the ones who should say that! We thought you died!” Palm exclaimed worriedly, but Killua fully ignored to be absorbed by the look in Gon’s hazelnuts. He couldn’t stop himself despite his pain because longing was much more excessive, so he went over to Gon and hugged him with the rest of his strengths. “You’re alive…” 

Gon hugged back, his touch was to placate Killua’s worries and set them where it lies. Both of them felt relieved to see the other, but both of them were also worried about the other. Leorio came back to scream in shock when he saw Killua inside the car. “Damn! You’re back!” But, Killua didn’t break the hug yet. He wasn’t ready to do that as if he hugged more, he’d make sure Gon would be safer. The only one he had in this place was Gon anyway. 

A moment left of Leorio looking at the duo hugging until Gon dared to break the hug and stare at Killua’s tired but soothing look. “I’m glad you’re alright…” Said Gon. 

“You can hear me? You’re alright? Your ears!” Killua forced Gon’s face from side to side to see that the bleeding had stopped, but he turned Gon’s face between his hands in a rush, then fixed it to be face to face with him. “You’re okay?” 

Gon smiled, pushing Killua’s hands a bit so he could talk. “I think… The ringing won’t stop, but it is a whole lot better. I can’t hear a thing with my left ear, but my right is ringing nonstop… It is better now I think…” Killua didn’t know how to take the news, what face he should make to accept it. Either way, He didn’t have the time to react because Wing jumped out of the car to yell urgently. “ZOMBIES!” 

There wasn’t any need for explanations, Leorio shut the door behind Killua and climbed into the Kia to drive as fast as he could and be followed by the blue Honda and the Ferrari. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Wattpad note)
> 
> Hi, babes!  
> This is me, Luci! :D  
> Let's skip the intros and say this...  
> I finally finished plotting this story and hopefully, the updates will be finna fast x3  
> And... one more thing... Yes, I added titles for the parts in my mind so... This is part two of three parts in the whole novel. I just added the title of part one at the very beginning (Chapter one) to make the story more appealing XD
> 
> That's it! Things should start to flare in this story, so have fun :D because it is gonna turn bloody >:)
> 
> For AO3 readers:  
> I usually announce any emergencies and stuff on Wattpad, whether it's an update that is gonna be late or not. You can also talk to me on Instagram or discord :D  
> My IG: GonKilluLuciel  
> And my discord would be taken in private messages on Wattpad or Instagram :) Thank you for reading and waiting for the updates.


	9. Overwhelming Grief

Like a race, the cars were driving. Blue, green, and red all mixed. The sound of the engine roaring filled their ears and increased Killua’s worry when he looked at Gon’s scrunched features. The loud noise was hurting him, but they never expected a strike from the infected who they never think. Suddenly, they appeared, forcing everyone back into their cars to flee. Did Wing bring any food? He doesn’t think so, and it doesn’t matter because their road is blocked by those bloody people.

“Gon, I brought a pill that can give you comfort! And betadine to put on your ears for infection!” Killua said in a rush, breathlessly. He didn’t budge, staying on top of Gon since the latter had taken all the space in the back seat. Leorio swerved harshly from the highway, where the infected blocked, and to a side-road. It was rocky and hard, not asphalt but earthen. Perhaps, he was leading somewhere near the orchard Killua and the family slept in. The cars behind followed as well, deep into the trees for cover. Gon didn’t care, he only cared about Killua’s breathing. The way he hyperventilated, the red cheeks, and the sweat… 

“Killua…” He mumbled, allowing his arm to slip into Killua’s forehead. The albino was puzzled for an instant, especially when Gon ignored his happiness about the medicine to put his hand on Killua’s inflamed forehead… “You have a fever…” 

This alerted Leorio and Palm. However, Leorio’s eyes were focused on the road, passing under the bridge. They thought that they lost them, but when something heavy bumped into the ceiling of the car, Palm screeched. “Fuck!” Leorio screamed, trying to maintain balance for the car when Gon involuntarily clutched Killua’s arms to steady him. The ringing in Gon’s functional ear eased down, and he was able to hear the growls above them. Killua’s hyperventilation was increasing, so Gon ignored the current situation to focus on what’s important. “Killua… Are you bitten?” His question was sinfully soft, pupils trembling in anticipation of the answer. He shouldn’t be that soft, and if Killua is bitten, he shouldn’t be into the car and above an injured Gon either. Leorio was preparing himself to throw Killua out if needed, but Killua finally denied the claim. 

“No, I… My shoulder hurts so much.” He mumbled, but he tried to focus on Gon and his injuries. Nonetheless, Gon forced Killua to stop moving right when a hand pierced the ceiling. Their eyes widened, and Killua’s heart nearly stopped from the closeness of the rotten arm. It was abutting to Killua’s head by just inches. “Gon.”

“Don’t move.” Gon sputtered in a rush, eyes widely piercing into the hand that is trying to break the ceiling of the car. Palm was biting the hem of her dress when Killua started to back out silently not to be caught by the grip of the rotten hand. Once he was decently far, he turned to the front. “Leorio! Swerve to that branch!” Without a question, Leorio spotted the tree and swerved left. The long, thick branch pushed the infected out of the car, which caused chaos to the other two cars behind them. 

“We’re alive…” Palm breathes audibly to calm herself down, looking at the darkening sky because of the gloomy clouds. It’ll probably rain, which isn’t in their favor at all. 

Gon forced Killua back close, forcing Killua to stay on top of him before forcing his white sweater to slide over the right shoulder, just where Killua looked for a few times. What they’ve seen was a shock to both of them. “The fuck happened to your shoulder?!” Gon allowed himself to yell, to look shocked, and to let his fear slip to the public. Killua didn’t reply. He was staring at his shoulder in absolute shock, unaware that it was  _ that _ bad. “Oh, fucking shit. Oh, fucking hell.” Gon showered the atmosphere by his curses, his profanities increased in volume with each wince Killua was making. 

His shoulder was the absolute reddish. It had translucent bubbles rising from the tumor-like injury. The pus that’s been hidden beneath the translucent substance took Killua’s breath away. “What’s this? What’s this…” Killua stammered heavily, looking at his swollen shoulder with manic wide eyes. 

“Infection.” Gon sputtered, gulping his thick saliva at the look of it. It’s no ordinary infection, and since Killua looks in utter shock, Gon assumed what he did wasn’t an explanation of this huge infection. “How did you hurt it?!” 

“Hit an infected human with it to escape,” Killua replied fast since Gon’s military tone wasn’t helping him to rest with his fear. His voice trembled so hard as he answered and he was gulping twice as fast. 

“You have a betadine bottle, right?” Gon mumbled and tried to be steady not to increase the dose of fear in Killua’s heart. 

“Yes, but it is for your ears—”

“Just give it to me.” Killua stared at Gon hesitantly. He bit his lower lip, ignoring their awkward position of Gon staying between his legs. He took the bottle out of his pocket, clutching it tightly for a moment until Gon took it by force. “There is no fucking time for you to decide, damn it! We have to clean it!” He popped the bottle open, then gave a little warning to Killua due to how swollen his shoulder is. “This will be a little painful.” 

Killua thought that Gon had surely mistaken between little and a lot. When he leaned in for Gon to pour the betadine on his injury, he had to clutch Gon’s shoulders and scream aloud. He couldn’t restrain it due to pain. That moment, Killua didn’t care about zombies hearing him, or about looking ugly while screaming. He didn’t care about anything but wished that this pain would end. On the other hand, Gon was wincing when Killua dug his fingers into his shoulders, but he wasn’t too fond of seeing Killua scream in pain. He wasn’t good at placating and witnessing people who are in pain. Pus started to get out of Killua’s shoulder and Palm handed Gon a tissue, so he could wipe them off. Killua’s voice trembled. It vanished for an instant while taking a breath, then back to the silent moans of terrific pain. “A little more and the pain will vanish. Please, hold on.” Gon muttered, placating Killua. However, the boy seemed as if he lost the sense of life from all the pain, and he nearly steadied himself over Gon. Pus was escaping its slots and the obnoxious stench was repulsive enough to be replete. Leorio’s nose was flickering at the scent, which is a behavior that the rarity of people have, while Palm expressed how unpleasant she was with the scent. 

“Killua.” Gon called for Killua, but the boy stayed on hyperventilating, finally collapsing on Gon’s body. Gon took the tissue that is full of pus to Leorio to toss it away. The empty bottle of betadine was still clutched by his tense hand. It was bad listening to someone scream in pain. That reminded him of memories of their military training. Subsequently, he clutched Killua’s shoulder to look at it. The redness wasn’t clogged like before, and the injury looks better, not too puffy as if it will blast. The absence of pus in his shoulder was relieving, so Gon decided to believe that Killua’s in a better condition now. He covered Killua’s shoulder again, closing his eyes to rest.

“Are we safe?” Gon asked. He could see the normal speed, assuming that they were in a safe area where Leorio didn't need to ride crazily. 

“Yes. I think.” He said, eyes going back and forth between the road and the mirror. “The cars rejoined and they’re also in good shape.” Gon didn’t notice that they had company until Leorio pointed it out. Although no one asked, Leorio told them the panic the two cars received when the branch kicked the infected off their car and to them. They had to separate a few paces, but they found their way back to the car. “I think we should have a break…” 

“Yeah.” Gon mumbled, looking back at the sleeping boy on him, taking his chest as a pillow. “All of us need to rest before we continue riding to God knows where…” Before, they thought driving to New Risal would be their haven. They thought everything will end there, and they will be sheltered and protected, but that haven turned to hell and Gon assumes there is no shelter on this earth anymore. Leorio parked on the earthen road, the two cars doing the same gestures before everyone got out. Gon stayed still, daring to sift through Killua’s hair. He doesn’t know what he passed through, and no one told him why he wasn’t there with them. Gon was in complete confusion when he woke with a deaf ear and another ringing ear, so he couldn’t object nor question. 

It doesn’t matter now since Killua’s back on track. He wonders what happened to Ray and William, what happened to all the survivors of Savil… They fled the truck, but it is a matter of time for them to die. No one had any survival skills and he was wondering how much they will hold up until their death knocks on their doors. Suddenly, a man with short black hair, very silky, and silky strands on his face, looked down at Gon from the window. He had a mentor’s smile although the duo was in a holy position. Gon looked at him and the man looked back. “Hello, I’m Wing.” He introduced, curtly nodding at Gon’s expectant look. His eyes went to Killua, inspecting him for a moment, so Gon tightened his grip on the albino’s waist protectively. Who’s that?

“Who are you?” Gon managed to ask, voice still croaking. He needs water… 

“I’m Wing, father of two. Killua rescued us from those people’s attacks. If I believe in Zombies, I would’ve said this is a zombie apocalypse, but I’m sure there is some logic here or there that I want to know about before going crazy about paranormal powers.” Wing briefly explained, steadying himself down by his arms on the opened window. “I’m grateful for this boy for helping us out. I’d vow myself fully for him if I make sure my children and wife will be safe.” Gon’s eyes turned down when a brunette child looked up, clutching the window of the car to push himself up. He gave Gon a wide grin as if he knew him for ages. “This is my oldest child, Zushi.” 

Gon’s lips were parted, ignoring Zushi who was talking about a lot of topics with Gon. Gon couldn’t hear well, but that wasn’t his problem. Zushi looks like Caleb…

He looked away, an eye fluttered annoyingly, or that’s how Wing thought of it. He dismissed Zushi to stop irritating the male when he looked away. “Sorry. Zushi tends to be annoying.” Wing apologized. They could hear a chat going between Palm and another woman, and Leorio talking about how gentlemanly he was for rescuing Palm.

“I’m Gon. Thank you for keeping Killua company.” It’s everything Gon managed to say, but he was out of it. He was depressed, feeling all worthless. 

Gon didn’t have the chance to give Caleb a worthy funeral for a brave soldier. He didn’t even end his suffering before they left, which made him think: Is he infected like others? Dead but alive? Feeling the pain and hunger for flesh? Wing just observed, staring at Gon’s complex features.

He knew from the knot of his eyebrows, from the lopsided frown, that Gon is in pain. His eyes were glassy, but he wasn’t crying. Nonetheless, they were screaming in agony, just how the pupils thin and enlarge naturally; he’s fallen in despair. It’s upsetting how no one could say a word, not even sorry for your loss, because no one knows. Wing’s time was over when someone pushed him aside to look down. 

It was a new face to everyone, but they knew that he’s the owner of the Ferrari car. “What’s this?” His monotone tone confused the raven-haired. Gon frowned deeper, wondering about the weird question. 

“What’s what?” He asked, allowing himself to look into the void of emotion, black eyes of the man with a tall gangster silky hair. Someone would’ve mistaken him for a girl if it weren’t for these muscular biceps and broad chest. And although Gon is considered mighty tall, this man has the privileges to be a challenge.

“What a nice position in an apocalyptic season.” He maliciously said. Lips were naturally a pout, but eyebrows looked tattooed and glued in the same position not to show any emotion. Gon didn’t care about their position until this moment, his position with Killua. The boy was lying on him, fully touching with Killua’s head glued on his neck. Gon’s bandaged arm was wrapped around Killua’s waist, so he wouldn’t fall off. But that was a complete unthought-of move from Gon — to wrap his arm around Killua protectively. It is just common sense when you feel that the one on top of you would fall at any second without your support. 

“So what?” Gon hissed defensively, but the man wasn’t fazed. The commotion brought the rest of the people towards them. Now surrounded by Palm, Wing, his wife, and the children. However, Leorio was nowhere to be seen, or probably hanging out of Gon’s sight. “Why do you care what position we’re in? And who are you to talk anyway?” 

“It’s a shame to hug someone younger than you by a lot, don’t you think?” The man said, punching the door where his hand rested. This didn’t faze Gon in the slightest, so he tightened his grip on Killua. “That one you’re hugging as you own him is my little brother.” 

Now, that’s something that could faze Gon. His hand around Killua’s waist loosened and he untied himself from Killua, but the position wasn’t getting any better. The reaction that’s been done, made Killua shiver so he moved to seek warmth again, but the pain made a moan escape. Gon’s face reddened, and the situation worsened when Wing coughed uncomfortably. “It’s not what you’re thinking…” Gon stuttered, cursing internally at himself for beginning with a stutter. He never did, but he wasn’t in a position like this before. “He’s injured.” 

The man critically looked down at his brother, trying to recall something of where and when his brother was injured. “Where and how?” He asked, so Gon slid Killua’s sweater off his shoulder to show him the redness that’s been dimming down with each minute passing. 

“What I understood from him is that he hit an infected with his shoulder to escape.” Gon’s voice croaked lightly, so Wing left to come back with a bottle of water. He didn’t know that this gesture was enough to make friends with Gon. He was thirsty enough to take Wing as his guardian angel after he handed him the bottle of water. “Thank you.” He tried drinking in an awkward position, also trying not to wake Killua up. 

“We’re low in supplies. What should we do?” Wing said, completely trying to change the subject of the man and his accusations towards Gon. “Um, also, what should we call you?” 

“Illumi.” 

“Alright. So… What should we do now? Your brother told us that we should head to his house where it is the safest…” 

“Yes, true. I’m here to retrieve my brother from Savil after we have heard about what’s been happening.”

“Alone?” Gon questioned, completely shocked by what he has heard. Illumi turned to him with a judging eye, then gave his attention back to Wing. 

“I’m taking the lead from here. First, we need supplies that could hold enough for a ride from New Risal to the republic of Padokea. Second, we need weapons for defense and fuel for cars. Third, we have to avoid riding at night.” Gon’s eyes glimmered at the last command. He knows something about the project, but he’s sure that Illumi is ignoring Gon for some reason. “I’d just take my brother and leave, but someone’s clutching him like a sack of potatoes.” Illumi eyed Gon again, who didn’t notice that his hand was back on Killua’s waist. He retreated his hand embarrassingly and wondered where he should put it in a tight place such as the backseat. 

“Sorry.” Gon mumbled. 

“So? We’re going to bring more food?” Leorio butted in, looking around with a sack of McDonald’s. He filled it with cold chicken, eating without inviting anyone to his party. “Because I’m sick of this cold thing.” He didn’t notice how everyone was looking at him angrily, maybe trying to snatch the sack from his hand to have a bite or two. 

Illumi turned to his brother, completely ignoring Leorio when he heard the moan of pain from Killua. Gon looked at him expectantly when Killua shifted and moved, waking up. He struggled, moving above Gon to make the latter more embarrassed. The eyes on them prying without shame, but it’s not like they’re doing something. The position is just unholy. Once Killua got conscious enough, he pulled himself up with his arms, propping his body high to be face to face with Gon. “Hi…” He mumbled dazedly. His droopy eyes and the slow blinking made Gon grin after being depressed. 

“Hello.” 

“Your ears?” 

“They’re fine.”

“Really?”

“How about your shoulder?”

“Hurts like a bitch.” 

“At least you’re still human.” Killua smiled, genuinely. The smile melted Gon’s heart for a second, so he coughed to clear his throat. “And as beautiful as ever.”

“Yes, very nice.” Illumi interrupted right after the flirting that escaped Gon’s lips. He clapped his hands to direct the attention back on him. “You’re finally awake, Kil.” Killua turned at the source of the voice, wondering if it’s due to his dizziness and his ears are playing a trick on him, or if it is really his brother. A gasp, very short that it was barely audible, escaped his lips when his sapphires connected with his brother’s ashy eyes. “Ill-ni.”

“You’re enjoying the ride?” Killua frowned at the sarcastic question. He couldn’t understand until he turned down to look at Gon. Gon’s hand was covering his face and Killua’s hands were touching his chest. When he noticed his sitting position on Gon, Killua jumped for his head to hit the ceiling with a loud moan. Wing, Palm, and Wing’s wife couldn’t stop laughing. Gon was looking at Killua with an apologetic smile when Killua rubbed his head with teary eyes. “Fuck you, Illumi.” Finally collecting himself and what’s left of his dignity, Illumi helped Killua to get out of the car, so Gon could feel at ease. 

“Are you okay, Kil?” When Killua was out of the car, his hand still grasped by Illumi, the older man asked. He pulled the sweater down from Killua’s injured shoulder to inspect it closely, and Killua didn’t object. He was looking at his injury in disgust as well. “This is unfortunate. You should’ve been careful.” 

“If I wasn’t careful, I would’ve been dead by now,” Killua replied emotionlessly, trying to shake Illumi’s hand off of him to cover his injured shoulder. “How did you find me anyway?” 

“I was heading to Savil when Father informed me about the incursion of those sick heads. I took the order to go and bring you back to the mansion. We have to go.” Killua frowned, standing still with lopsided lips. “I’m glad I found you in New Risal. It would’ve been bad if I wasn’t lucky and crossed New Risal to go to Savil.” 

Killua let out an exasperated sigh, looking away guiltily after causing so many troubles. “I’ve been causing a lot of troubles to everyone around me ever since people started deforming…” Illumi silently inspected the face of his brother, maybe Killua’s statement was enough to put him at loss for words. “I’m glad you’re alright,” Killua admitted, but Illumi raised his eyebrow at the sudden truth. Killua had never expressed his care for his brother, so it was weird. Illumi’s reaction made Killua a little embarrassed, so he bickered with him about not doing this teasing shit and he hopes he gets eaten by a zombie. 

“Let’s go.” 

“Not without them.” 

“Kil.”

“They did a lot to save my ass. You should be grateful that they rescued your brother alright?” Illumi’s jaw moved randomly before he let out a sigh and turned to everyone. 

“We’re leaving. Let’s head down this path to the next district, and load supplies from a supermarket or a shop, then leave.” Wing turned to his wife after nodding knowingly. 

“Bisky, let’s go.” Bisky, Wing’s wife, turned to put the children in the Honda with the help of Wing when Palm went back to sit in the Kia. Killua went with Leorio to the Kia, but Illumi grabbed his hand and forced him to stand back in his place. “Where are you going?” 

“What! I’m going—” Killua trailed off, cheeks reddening for a second at what he was going to say,  _ To Gon. _ “To the car…” 

“Oh, yeah? You’re riding with me.” Killua was at a loss for words, standing there with a flushed face. What did he just think? They don’t even know each other that much… “If you promise that you won’t accelerate…” He implied his fear of Illumi driving fast, so the other won’t be able to follow. The way he begged, and how it is illustrated in Killua’s eyes was enough for Illumi to succumb.

“Alright.” 

“I promise to jump out of the car if you did.”

“I won’t, but we need to talk about you and that soldier.” Killua scuffled around, probably biting his cheek like he always does. Illumi knows about his nervous habits anyway. “Come on.” They walked together towards the car, but Killua had to look back to see Gon looking at him. Once their eyes met, Gon looked away. Killua needs to know why it started to be awkward… 

“Oh!” He stopped, so Illumi turned to him and raised his eyebrow. “I need to give Gon the medicine… You can go without me.”

“Killua.”

“I’m not bluffing!” Killua took the bottle of Ibuprofen out of his pocket and showed it to his suspicious brother. “He threw a stun grenade to rescue me, so it is the least I could do for him, alright?” Illumi barely held himself from rolling his eyes, leaving towards his car without a second word. 

Killua took this as a chance to run to the Kia, opening the door to look at the confused Gon. “Can I be here?” 

“Just hop in, kid,” Leorio said nonchalantly. “Your man is scary when you’re not around anyway.” 

“What?” Both of them said in unison, so they stared at each other before they looked away. Yes, Killua’s sure now that’s something gone wrong. Gon sat straight, giving Killua the space to sit in the backseat with him. He looked a tad bit dizzier, so Killua dared to question. “You alright?” 

“Yeah. Just tired.” 

“I think you need some sleep.” Killua waited for Gon to say something, but Gon just looked outside the window to see Illumi’s car taking the lead. The cars started moving right when Illumi was at the front. “I brought you this. One pill would help you though.” Gon looked back at Killua, then at his hand. He took the pill and swallowed it without water, then looked outside the window again. 

“Thanks”

“It’s nothing compared to your sacrifice…” Killua mumbled. He closed the bottle and kept it secured in his navy pants as he stared outside his window. 

“Thought you’d be with your brother.” Gon suddenly said.

“Had to bring you the pill.”

“Oh, is that all?” Killua turned to Gon confusedly, then looked away again. 

“And in case you need help with something…” 

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know… But I can do that too, but you’ve been taking care of me like forever.”

“You’re not in debt for me.”

“Maybe I am.” Leorio let out a loud sigh to shut both of them up. They were getting on his nerves. They drove until the road changed again, from earthen to asphalt. “I think we’re back to the highway,” Leorio said. “I hope we won’t face any shitasses.” He added, “Are they really zombies?” 

“They’re infected by a strong plague.” Gon answered, wishing for Leorio to just shut up. 

“Oh? That’s weird. Never heard of such a plague although I’m a doctor.” Gon pursed his lips, trying to ignore Leorio, who seemed to be very naive. 

Gon’s already not in a good mood. Life’s heavy on his shoulder and he feels that he might break. At any moment. His fist tightened next to his lips, looking at the side trees around the world. “I hope there is a supermarket somewhere here,” Leorio mumbled. 

“I don’t think so… This place is so arid…” Palm replied, rubbing her belly tiredly. She needs rest for her child, and she’s hungry. 

Killua was looking at the front, listening to the conversation until it went dull. He snuck a look at Gon, who suddenly changed from the caring man to the silent one, who looks like weighing the whole world. He understands that the tragedy that happened to the truck and the survivors of Savil is still there in front of Gon’s eyes, and he needs to do something to help him, but he doesn’t know-how. “Stop beating yourself up about it,” Killua mumbled, which was escaped from him by force. His heart hammered when Gon turned to him, frowning and looking at Killua judgingly. 

“What?” He menacingly muttered, so Killua looked down then back up at Gon. 

“What happened to the truck I mean… To everyone… You did what you can do and…” Killua trailed off at Gon’s hard glare, but he managed to continue. “But it happened and we can’t change that…” 

Gon looked away, pressing his lips together as if stopping himself from saying something harsh. Killua felt naked under his gaze and even now that he’s not looking at him, he felt vulnerable. He was trying to make Gon feel better, but this led to a much more awkward talk. In the end, Gon didn’t reply, he just looked outside the window without a single word, and Killua stopped annoying him. Perhaps, all he needs is some space. 

It seemed like an hour, maybe more, of them riding. Killua was getting sleepy next to Gon, but that’s when the cars stopped. “Oh, yes. That’s a supermarket.” Leorio said. They’re now in another district that was oddly empty. Everyone got out of their cars to talk with one another. Gon stood up as well, walking to meet with everyone. 

“This is a good place to fill as many supplies as we could,” Illumi stated the obvious, and everyone listened. “It is a matter of knowing whether this place is safe or not.” 

Gon didn’t wait for anyone to volunteer, “I’ll go and check it out.” 

“No way! You’re still injured!” Killua objected, looking at his brother for help, but the latter seemed impressed. 

“You sure about that?” Illumi asked, and Gon ignored it as a payback. 

“Ill-ni!” 

“Shut up, Kil.” 

Gon walked forward, defenseless, but his gaits were calculated. He’s not some stupid kid in the streets, he’s a sergeant. Killua couldn’t see him go away alone like that with a deaf ear and defenseless, so he turned to his brother. “You or me?” 

Illumi let out a sigh, glaring at his brother who was glaring back. “You won’t cease.” 

“You’re a bitch for letting an injured person go,” Killua replied. 

“Fine. I’m going, but you owe me an explanation about why you do care so much...” Killua’s breath hitched, but he didn’t stop glaring. Illumi turned to where Gon went and followed. It would be easier to do a job without anyone prying… 

That man is a bad influence on Killua, and he should die…


	10. My Friend Could Be an Enemy

Gon's boots thrashed into the shards of glass. Everything was supposed to be still. The whole district was abandoned, so the supermarket should be abandoned as well. He heard the movement behind him, so he turned to spot Illumi right on his heels. At first, he thought it was odd, but deep down he knew Killua had something to do with it. He finally turned back to where he's going, stealthily coming into the supermarket. Chaos wasn't enough to describe the supermarket. The stands crashed to the ground and a variety of stuff was scattered everywhere. 

He looked around, inspecting like a radar, to see the objects on the white floor. Nothing seemed dangerous, so he went deeper. The only voice was Illumi’s silent gaits, but Gon’s lucky his functional ear is strong enough to catch such a low voice of movement. He clutched an abandoned basket, which had a bar of caramel chocolate in it and a few flour sacks. Emptying it, he went forward to fill it with beverages. “Can you fill one with food?” Without looking at the dark figure behind him, Gon asked. Something seemed fishy when he didn’t hear any movement, and there was this peculiar sensation at the back of his heart that urged him to be fast. He couldn’t think because, all of a sudden, something rocky hard hit him on the back of his head. The hit, whether it was weak or strong, was enough to rattle Gon’s balance all over again. He wasn’t fully stable after the grenade, and he needed some rest, but the hit was a great impact to make him stumble a few paces — seeing colors like a glitch. “Fuck…” He cursed, closing his eyes and opening them again to retain his balance but it wasn’t working. He was aware of everything, so he shouldn’t be hit all of a sudden. He was aware of everything except for Illumi. Knees giving up on him, falling on the ground and his hand clutching his head. “What… the fuck…” 

“Well, I’ll have to leave. Sorry, man. Good luck surviving those weirdos, who came at the noise.” Illumi knew it. He noticed the infected people into the buildings after they arrived, maybe hiding from the little speckle of light. Sunrays. It’s a little vibrant here, so they hid in the buildings. Illumi assumed to encounter some in the supermarket as well. He took the basket that’s been in Gon’s hand and continued filling it with a few snacks before getting out of the door. Gon tried standing up, a hand tightly pressing the injury in his head. He doesn’t know how deep it is yet, but there isn’t a single moment of hesitation in his situation. Whatever Illumi had in mind, Gon knew he’d be screwed if he’s left behind. He tried moving forward, the broken doors a few feet beyond his vision. Alas, he heard a growl, followed by many other menacing voices…

When Illumi returned to them, Killua's eyes suspiciously glimmered. They squinted like a snake as if he could get under his brother's skin. "Where is he?" Illumi stared emotionlessly at his brother in an eye challenge. As if they could talk by the mind, Killua's eyes widened. It was a split second of Killua sprinting, Illumi throwing the basket down to clutch Killua's arm, and everyone else was standing in shock at the sudden shift in the mood. "LEAVE MY ARM!" Killua screamed, tugging his arm to run back to the supermarket, where a trapped, maybe injured, Gon is awaiting. 

"ZOMBIES SURROUNDED THAT PLACE ALL OF A SUDDEN!" Illumi objected. "That man gave me time to run away by sacrificing himself." He calmly added, which wasn't very convincing after coming from someone as monotone as Killua's brother. He was never good with emotions in the first place, but Killua had a connection of breaking through his brother's mind to look beyond his monotone eyes and into his cerebrum… 

He knew that his brother was going to get rid of Gon somewhat, and he regretted trusting him so fast…

"Killua!" Kicking his leg in the air, Killua was able to distract Illumi and break free from his protective grip. He didn't look back, running into the supermarket to make sure if he could rescue Gon. If it is too late, he's going to hurt Illumi excessively. He ran into the supermarket to see Gon standing on an aisle. Their eyes met, and Gon's shimmered for Killua to  _ leave _ . Killua looked down to see five infected people or even more hiding behind the aisle, and depending on Gon's expression, they appeared all of a sudden. His hand was bloody, and Killua assumes he is injured.

When Killua didn't run, Gon mouthed for him to leave. But again, Killua ignored and ran towards a metallic tube he found on the ground. It had blood that didn't dry out, and Killua suspected the issue but ran forward to hit one of the infected in the head. "KILLUA!" When the infected turned to him, there was no reason for Gon to stay quiet. All of them noticed Killua's presence when he hit one on the head. 

"WE HAVE TO FLEE!" Killua yelled back, taking a few steps away when the infected started walking towards him. The metallic tube that looked like a water-passing tube won't be a great weapon. Gon took the chance of Killua distracting them to jump behind the aisle and kick the whole thing down. He needed one, two, strong kicks by his tactical ringer boot for the aisle to fall on three of them. Killua gasped at the sudden action, but his eyes landed on the cause of the trouble. They grinned, and Killua ran behind one of the aisles. Gon yelled for him to push it once the infected were close enough. 

Behind them, Wing, Bisky, Palm, and Leorio were running in the supermarket and filling baskets. At first, they joined to rescue Killua, but once they saw them handling the infected well, they decided to do something beneficial and grab more food. Illumi joined later to help them although he didn't care. What made him take that gesture is to try and fix what he did, so Killua wouldn't turn to his ugly self and curse the shit out of him, especially when he found out that Gon is  _ alive _ . He was sure he hit Gon in the head with the metallic tube hard enough for the strongest to fall, but Gon seemed to be fighting those heavy creatures as if he wasn't injured at all…

The sound of another aisle crashing emitted and Killua jumped and ran to the liquor aisle. Betadine has alcohol… it is not about betadine that makes the creatures die… William said that the virus is attracting a lot of bacteria to form a conglomerate on the rotten skin, which forms a heavy barrier on the infected's skin by mixed and complex bacteria… 

To cleanse an injury from bacteria and infection, there is nothing better than alcohol if it was carefully used… Killua grabbed a bottle to confirm his thoughts and turned to the only left creature. He ran, startling Gon who was ready to fistfight the creature like a motherfucker. Killua grabbed the bottle from its neck and crashed it on the infected's head. He took a few stumbling steps back, raising his hands to his head and growling. Faint smoke hissed while getting out of his head, and everyone around observed. The infected stumbled again, then fell on the ground. "Dissolving the bacteria is one way to exterminate the virus," Killua said, analyzing the situation of the dead human. "Let's go! There might be some around still!" At Killua's warning, everyone ran outside. Killua grabbed Gon's hand to run with him to Leorio's car. Confronting Illumi can wait, they need fuel and a safe place to stay for the night. 

The cars drove in a land where peacefulness had to become a dream. They looked outside their windows at the abandoned buildings that were once lively under the sun’s colors. Little raindrops knocked on the cars’ ceilings. It was soothing in a way during the ride, but also threatening by the fogging scenery. The lead, Illumi, had to decide to lay low for the rest of the day since it’s already dusk. Nearby the wilderness they went in, there will be the following district in New Risal. There is a gas station on the long road leading to Mt. Risal where it will take a few hours to ride in a deserted area. Illumi noted to pass by a weapons shop before going to that mountain. Because after it, the republic of Padokea, where his father awaits…

The sounds of the wheels on the hard ground were thoroughly emitting through. Nothing else was as loud to overcome their noise. Around them trees aligned, and most of them were leafless. Killua was looking down at his knees angrily, wondering about what he could do in a bad situation like this. It’s not hard to know that Gon has an awful dignity, and he’s distressed that he’ll break the team and leave to survive by himself. Would he be stupid enough? Would he be egotistic enough to leave the group because of what Illumi had done?

“What happened there?” Killua’s strict voice attracted Gon’s attention, whose eyes turned to the corner to look down at the tense figure. He nonchalantly ripped the old bandages off his arm, the one Killua bandaged ever since they were in the truck — right after he rescued Palm from the Zombies, then rubbed his healed arm. The threaded injury was fine, but it left a thin scar on his arm. “Brother told me that you sacrificed yourself for him to get out.” 

Gon’s eyes turned to look at Killua’s figure again. He wasn’t saying anything, trying to contemplate his answer first. He didn’t sacrifice himself? He would if it was needed, but he recalls someone hitting him on the head when he was filling the basket. He knows well that it was only Illumi behind him. “Yeah, the infected suddenly appeared behind the stands and I had to distract them, so your brother can get out. Can’t risk letting someone you cherish die.” 

“Why would you care about someone  _ I _ cherish?” Killua emphasized the word ‘I’, clearly not impressed by Gon’s lying. He wasn’t sure yet if Gon was saying the truth, so he looked into his eyes with a deep frown. “What if the one I cherish is  _ you _ ?” He emphasized the last word emphatically, adding highlights to the piece of statement. His cerulean irises were the source of light to his words, and Gon was awestruck by Killua’s menacing glance. 

“Why would you cherish  _ me? _ ” Mimicking the emphasizing tone, Gon asked. It was intimate between the two as if they were absorbed in a hole of blankness. The sound of the cars driving vanished and even the figures of the two sitting in the front seats weren’t existent to them anymore. They just stared into each other’s eyes, both of them were trying to read what’s going through the mind of the other. 

“Well, aren’t you a big idiot? I cherish my friends. You’ve become…” Killua finally broke the gaze, little to no hue colored his flesh when he continued, “You’ve become someone who I truly cherish the past few days… I mean… There is no peace in this life, and each day is already feeling like a week. It would be easily obvious to notice who truly cares for you and who’s not. You’ve only shown me the former… And it makes me melt, honestly.” Killua attempted a sincere confession of his feelings, spiced with a few flirting words to test the climate of the two males. What he said was the truth. Killua had compared Gon to his ex, Liam, for quite a while. Even when he tried not to compare the two, he mentally did. What if Killua was stuck with Liam when the apocalypse started? Killua is most definitely sure that Liam would run away and protect his butt, leaving Killua to face off all these brainless fleshes. And he often admired courageous men, such as himself. 

Gon was someone who he had in his dreams, a knight to be precise. It has always been him who protects although he’s submissive in nature. When they see a cockroach, when they face a gangster, when they fight, Killua always makes a move because Liam wasn’t capable of doing such a thing. But now, Gon just showed up in a bar, where Killua lost all of that to finally be vulnerable once in his life. It cost him what he cherished the most, his virginity. But he’s got Gon in exchange — the one he never ceased to throw himself to the front lines to take the hit instead of Killua. Whether it is his soldier nature, maybe personality type, or maybe because Gon developed feelings for Killua, they all matter to him because he thinks that they might have a chance together if it weren’t for the apocalypse. “I do care.” Gon finally replied, eyes softly squinting before he looked away. “Thanks for considering me a friend because I do consider you one too, right now I did.” 

“Late.”

“I know, sorry. But you are now.” They gave each other a funny look before grinning. The tension between them subsided, especially the one Illumi had done after his suspicious looks. Although both of them declared their friendship audibly, it felt as if they were confessing something else — as if they were promising for something else. It felt peaceful inside the chaos, and both of their hearts were rested after an emotional rollercoaster. Now that they’re down into a calm place, Gon got out to form a circle with the others. 

For an instant, Illumi nearly spoke with Killua, but Gon interfered fast enough. “It’s alright. I explained to Killua that it’s not your fault.” Gon said, rubbing his head lightly to find that whatever injury he had was no longer bleeding. Illumi didn’t hit enough. Perhaps, he thought the infected would do that job, so Gon won’t suffer from a head injury before he dies or something, or Illumi thought that Gon’s previous injuries are enough with a light hit. He hadn’t spoken a word ever since, taking a corner between two rocks to settle. Wing distributed a few snacks around, and Gon was calmly sitting and waiting for his ears to recover. 

His hope to retain the hearing in both of his ears was diminishing. His dysfunctional ear is now deaf, but no one dares to speak that out loud. It doesn’t matter much now when he has another ear that is working, right? Well, it does matter to a soldier, but it would be hard to whine about it when he knows it won’t be fixed. His eyes were closed, trying to block the voices of the people from his earshot. It wasn’t that easy, but he’s grateful that no one’s disturbing him. Killua was sitting next to his brother, eating happily while ignoring Palm and Leorio fighting over the cold chicken fries that he got from McDonald’s. “You said you’re tired of them because they’re cold! Give me some! Now!”

“Damn! I thought you’re a nice madame, but apparently, you’re so short-tempered.” Palm glared at Leorio who hid the sack behind his back. “I’m saving these for the time I become protein starved! Can’t let my toned muscles loosen!”

“I don’t care about your muscles! There is a baby in my tummy that I need to feed!” Killua watched the fight nonchalantly, trying too hard not to look at where Gon was sitting alone. He knows that Gon needs his space to sort out his thinking. He’s had no personal space ever since they ran out of that truck, leaving Gon with little time to think about anything other than their survival, then comes his ear injury, then Killua’s swollen shoulder, then the infected attack, then the supermarket bust… A lot of things so Gon deserves some space. 

“So?” Illumi suddenly started. Killua turned to him, confusedly blinking under the light of the moon. It went dark fast and the air was getting chillier. He couldn’t surpass a shiver, so Illumi threw his jacket on Killua. “Your clothes are so thin. Why didn’t you get a jacket before leaving your home?” That’s not too suspicious to ask. Their mom always forced them to bring jackets or sweaters just in case, even when it was extremely hot outside. Illumi had to ask that because he wasn’t aware of Killua’s depression after the breakup, neither he knew about him hooking up and nearly running out naked after getting attacked by an infected, protected by Gon. “Even  _ your man _ is only in a tee. Is he immune to cold?” Illumi pointed out, so Killua choked on his chips. 

He still feels guilty about taking Gon’s jacket and then leaving it behind in that truck. “Uh, we forgot our jackets in the truck when we were attacked…” Simple and easy and very convincing, so Illumi didn’t question further. 

“Who is he?”

“A survivor from Savil.” 

“Is that all?” 

“That’s the beginning…” Killua mumbled, daring not to look at his brother’s eyes. “He rescued me there, though. Without him, I’d be someone unrecognizable…” 

“So, he helped you out through that. I thought we got you into self-defense classes for a reason there…” Illumi mocked.

“Well, if military weapons can do nothing against those dead-alive humans, what do you expect from a few legs and arms moves? They were useful at some points throughout my journey though…” Illumi hummed at Killua’s soft tone, but he wasn’t very impressed when he knew that his brother is in debt for Gon. 

“How many times was he the reason for your safety?”

“Countless times I think… But, honestly? He rescued me from deeper conflicts too.”

“How?”

“I was kinda depressed and, just seeing him and how courageous he is, makes me feel lucky that I met him. Makes me feel strong…” 

Killua is aware that Illumi, his monotone and overwhelmed with melancholy brother, won’t understand his words. However, he had to say them aloud, ignoring all the stares coming his way. He had to say them aloud for himself, not for anyone else. He was also sorting his thoughts now. What to believe and what’s not to believe. What to think and what’s not to think. What he truly feels and not feels towards Gon, specifically towards that man. 

He looked to the place Gon was supposed to be sitting at, but he found it empty. He just wanted to give him a look when he thought about him, to be shocked that the man just disappeared. He looked around the place in a rush to try and find any sight of him, but there wasn’t anything. “I—” 

“He left that way.” Wing pointed towards the trees, knowing exactly what’s been rushing into Killua’s brain. He eyed the adult gratefully before getting up. Surprisingly, Illumi didn’t stop him, but he was able to feel his void-of-emotion eyes piercing into his back when he trotted towards the path Wing pointed out. 

Subsequently, Killua went between the trees to find Gon. Enough personal space. Gon shouldn’t have left without informing them, not alone, and not with being injured. Killua was pissed, being the one who tried to be in charge like always, the one who takes the first step always, and he’s pissed about it. Nonetheless, his hard footsteps calmed down until he halted. He stopped when he heard the sound of sniffling, the sound of someone who’s depressed. Someone who’s been holding a lot of things into his heart, pent up emotions until he burst. And Killua’s sure that the person who has such a thick and sexy tone in their team only belongs to Gon. He hesitated for a minute when he heard Gon’s faint sniffles. From the sound of them, Killua could feel that Gon isn’t only sullen but also angry at himself. In the car, he tried shaking these thoughts off, but Gon reacted with angry pursed features. 

This time, he will embrace Gon’s thoughts instead of pushing them away. It felt as if Gon would say something amongst the lines of  _ It doesn’t matter to you, _ or  _ it means nothing to you _ . He held himself back and Killua was grateful. Knowing what disturbs Gon, he tried to take it from his perspective this time, to embrace his pain. 

The bushes rustled when Killua moved to where Gon was standing. He directly turned to a defensive position, but he soon calmed when he saw Killua’s signature fluffy hair. “It’s you.”

“Was worried…” Killua walked to stand next to Gon. It was a nice place where they could see a few stars. The sky wasn’t starry, most likely full of clouds. It might rain, but no one seemed to care. “The stars look cool tonight… And the clouds look like a blanket.” Killua’s sudden conversation reminded Gon of himself when he sat down next to the crying Killua in Mt. Savil. His lips turned to a rueful smile, and he looked away. 

“There is a myth that says, each dead soul turns to a star. So, I was wondering if our friends are up there looking at us.” Gon mumbled, looking high and sniffing the air. He was resting on a rock, leaning on it and digging his black ringers in the damp soil. 

“Although this is very childish, I kinda admire such a nice thought in the middle of an apocalypse,” Killua replied, tinting his words with sarcasm and love. “I hope they are alright if they’re still alive, and for the dead to rest in peace.” 

“Hardly… But I hope so too…” Both of them went silent for a second, but Gon had to spill his beans in the end. He needed someone close enough such as a survivor from Savil to tell him about what’s been bugging him. “If I was fast enough to react—”

“He would’ve still died…” Killua interrupted. 

“Yes, but if I reacted faster and killed him before he transforms instead of running away like a coward…”

“You had other responsibilities, Palm and I.” 

“That’s just an excuse…” 

“Maybe,” Killua mumbled. “Caleb did that because of me. I’m the one who’s supposed to be guilty, Gon.” Gon looked at Killua confusedly, but his face was overwhelmed with agony. “He said something before he was bitten… He asked if he’s still a cowardly soldier in my eyes…” Killua felt a chill run down his spine, and Gon looked at him in surprise. He never expected that Killua was holding back these feelings of fear and guilt. “Never meant to make him feel bad about himself. A-At least not enough to sacrifice his life…” Killua’s sniffled, hugging himself tighter. “You told me he’s your idol, so supposedly you’d be hating me by now.” 

“Nah,” Gon muttered, looking down when Killua managed to stop himself from being weak. “Never thought about it that way. You weren’t mean, well. You were a bit, but that’s what made Caleb see what he truly is, aka a soldier. He died to help his civilians survive, to help his co-soldier, me.” Gon let out a sigh, “Let’s not blame ourselves for what happened, eh? Caleb would’ve become pissed if he was here. I’m mostly worried about the others. Ray and William are the strongest, so I’m hopeful they will be able to make it…” 

“They will…”

They sat in silence, Killua finally joining Gon on the rocks and swinging his legs. Gon stayed leaning, but Killua’s presence next to him was soothing. He closed his eyes and enjoyed it for a while without objections. “Thank you for being here.” He muttered. 

“No, thank you for helping me a lot.” 

“I did nothing.”

“Before you say it is your duty and some shit, a soldier’s duty isn’t making other civilians feel better about their own love life and self-worth.”

“I helped you with that? How?” Gon turned to look at Killua bewilderedly. Finally, something different from the apocalypse’s topic. 

“I thought I’m that bad one who’s sticking to his beliefs, but apparently, I chose the wrong man to be with.” Gon smiled, but it directly turned to a teasing smirk as he looked back at Killua. He was tired, so the smirk had no value. 

“So, I’m the right man that made you understand how wrong your man was?” Killua looked away, sputtering a few curses at Gon and how he didn’t mean it that way, but it already slipped and it was too late to regret it. Gon only chuckled, and grabbed Killua’s hand to force him back down. “Up for herb scavenging and some meat hunting? We need that meat.” Killua nodded and grinned at the new wild adventure, but they had to be quick, so they could get back to the camp.

They trampled together around the wild, the sound of their friends is still nearby, They couldn’t risk walking too far because they didn't know what hides behind this unknown area. Killua walked behind Gon, still wondering if Gon feels better physically or not. But what he was able to see, Gon isn’t quite upset and self-conscious as he was before his talk with Killua. The tension around them also subsided, as if they explained their attachment to each other secretly. Illumi understands why he’s so strict about his feelings for Gon. Their family is homophobic, and now that they’re in an apocalypse, his dad will highly question anyone who isn’t fucking to increase the population.

“There…” Gon mumbled all of a sudden, crouching down when Killua turned on his flashlight. Luckily enough his phone didn’t die down yet, but it is just ten percent before Killua loses his battery… It doesn’t matter, does it? They already brought flashlights from the supermarket, thanks to Wing’s quick thinking. “These are eucalyptus. They really help with pain relief.” Gon explained, gathering the ones to stand up and show them to Killua. 

“Wow… How do you know that? Plants all look similar to me.” Killua stared in amazement at the velvety dark plants in Gon’s hands. 

“Well, I lived my entire life on an island… I think my aunt, who raised me, should be fine because the island is kinda far away from chaos… I’m still worried about her and my grandmother.” Gon replied, walking with Killua back to the camp. “I’ve spent my entire childhood in the wilderness nearby. Folks are either fishermen or hunters and I’ve learned how to treat my bruises from the wild because sometimes, I won’t have enough time to go back home and heal them there. I also befriended animals, had their scent as if they marked me one of the children of the wild.”

“This is very riveting,” Killua admitted, looking at Gon impressively. 

“Yeah, but when I went to army forces as a cadet, I faced a lot of racists. Never thought that my skin color or where I’m from, even what I believe in, would make any change to me before.” 

“It actually doesn’t, but people are asses.” Killua sarcastically replied, so Gon hummed. 

“I’ve been raised to be who I truly, deeply am. Regardless of my exterior look, or my core beliefs. I was kind of shocked to know how the world works outside my island.” 

“It looks like a nice and peaceful place. I wish we could’ve just gone and lived there… If it weren’t for the situation the world is in right now.” Gon smiled as if a thought crossed his mind at what Killua just said. It took him a minute to reply… 

“My aunt, Mito, would love to meet you. You’re a sweetheart and you’d be her favorite.” Killua felt the heat prickling up his cheeks, flushed slightly at Gon’s sincere compliment. “Especially that hair. She’d ask if you dyed it and will discipline you for that tongue piercing.”

“Ah, traditional family…” 

“Yes, exactly.” They chuckled lightly, enjoying the peaceful conversation along with Gon collecting a few herbs from their way and explaining its functionalities and shape differences to Killua. It was hard for Killua to distinguish between them but he rolled with it. 

Suddenly, a sound of low animalistic growling erupted in Gon’s functional ear. He turned towards the sound even though it was hard to locate it with one ear. “What’s wrong—” At the sudden eruption of Killua’s voice, a huge squirrel (the size of an adult cat) jumped towards Killua with sharp bloody teeth. Gon’s eyes widened and pushed Killua backward to be pulled away just in time the squirrel jumped in between. Killua fell on the ground with a hard thump of the scrunching leaves while Gon staggered a few steps back. “That squirrel isn’t normal!” Gon yelled right before the squirrel growled to run and bite Gon’s ringer boot. 

He reacted fast, raised his leg, and stepped on the head of the squirrel with all of his power. But even with that, it made it hard for Gon not to fall by its manic wiggling to free itself. “Gon!” Killua stood up, yelling, and searching for anything that could defend them. Spotting a rock, pointy enough to be fatal, and he carried it with both hands. 

Suddenly, Gon lost his footing, tumbling backward for the squirrel to jump on his chest and make a hard impact that knocked Gon’s breath away. Killua’s eyes widened, and his reflexes reacted by kicking the squirrel off Gon’s chest. It was then when Gon leaped, taking the rock from Killua’s hand and stashing it to break the squirrel’s skull then the heart. After two full distorting stabs, the squirrel stopped moving. “It’s not as strong as an infected human, but for god’s sake! A fucking squirrel! What’s wrong with this virus?!” Gon yelled hefty between his pants, and Killua tried standing on his foot that’s recently been injured after the kick. He’s not going to tell Gon, or the latter will fuss about it. 

“Let’s go back before something else attacks us,” Killua said, crouching down to gather the herbs for Gon. Gon carried the dead squirrel carefully, and they walked to the camp. “We’re back!” 

“And we have this thing to dissect.” Gon added to Killua’s statement, so both of them smiled at each other, which made someone frown a little bit more. “Killua, can u dissect it? Aren’t you a doctor?” 

Killua waved his hands defensively. “I said I’m a medical student, but I’m nowhere near being a doctor. Oh!” Killua turned to Leorio who was busy eating still. “Leorio is a doctor if I’m not mistaken.” Killua grinned, pointing at him as if accusing him of a crime. 

“Wait—” Gon didn’t wait for Leorio to continue. He threw the squirrel on Leorio who screeched so hard. Gon blinked at Leorio’s feminine reaction, and Killua couldn’t stop snorting next to him. Leorio looked at the squirrel in disgust, pushing it off of him and rubbing the aching place. “Why is this rat so heavy?!” Wing laughed at that, looking at Leorio’s horrified reaction. 

“That’s a squirrel.” Killua corrected.

“Why is it so BIG!” Leorio objected.

“Ask her.” Gon mocked. 

The simplified reactions were funny, making the atmosphere lighter. After a while of Leorio complaining and grumbling, Gon went back to his sitting place next to the rock, Killua hot on his trails. They sat down, and Gon took the herbs from Killua to mash them with a small rock. “So? What are you doing?” 

“Smashing these herbs to make something similar to an ointment. I will wrap them around my ears to prevent noise and it will numb the pain.” Gon explained. 

“But won’t that be dangerous? Like, what if we are attacked?” 

“That’s how I’d be relying on you to alert me if there is danger. I would be able to hear you all, but noises won’t be harsh on me like now. My ear is still sensitive.”

“Are both of them okay?” Killua finally asked, noticing the singular form of Gon’s  _ ear _ .

“I can only hear you from my right… The left is completely dysfunctional.” Killlua felt his throat go dry at Gon’s confession, so he looked away. “Don’t forget your words before… No one is blamed for what’s been happening here. As long as we’re alive, it is everything that matters.” Killua nodded, letting out a sigh of exhaustion. 

“I think I have to take a nap,” Killua mumbled. 

“Do it.” 

Palm suddenly interrupted the side conversation, along with Gon and Killua’s. “It is so cold! Can we light up a fire?” Gon rolled his eyes, and Killua pursed his lips. 

“Are you an idiot?! This will be a huge source of attraction!” Killua objected while trying not to be so loud. They were still at the edge of the wild, trying not to go too deep in case there is found danger. But they aren’t too close to the highway either. Palm shut up and looked away angrily when she glared at Killua for a whole minute. 

Illumi was looking at his brother, who was still hanging out with Gon. He’s wondering about it for a while since his brother gets too attached to the wrong crowd. Gon might take advantage of Killua at some point because everyone would fight to survive even if it means killing someone else. Or that’s how Illumi thinks. 

Finally done mashing the herbs, Gon looked around for a way to wrap them up. “If there is moss nearby, it would play a good role in bandages.” Killua whistled impressively about Gon’s high skills of surviving in the wild. However, he turned to pierce his hard gaze on his brother. “Illumi, you better get that first aid kit you have in your car. I’m sure you have one, and we need those bandages.” Gon turned to look at Killua, whose tone shifted from soft to snarky as if he’s ready to fight someone. 

Illumi dismissed him, pressing his key for his car to beep. Killua stood up and went into the car to get the aid kit. He knew prior that Gon wouldn't accept the help of Illumi. He had that gut feeling, but now that he mashed the herb, some bandages won’t hurt Gon’s ego. He took them out from the kit and staggered back to Gon. “Let me help.” Gon thanked him as Killua worked his way to apply the mixture and bandage Gon’s head. He also applied some of it on Gon’s head injury. He frowned when he saw it, but he didn’t question. 

“So? Is it safe if all of us go to sleep?” Leorio said while working his way into the squirrel with his pocket knife. It was obvious that one has to step out and watch the area when others rest, but Leorio was worried about being that someone. 

“I will go and watch out.” Gon volunteered. “I can’t sleep now anyway. Feeling some pain.”

“I’ll watch after three hours from you.” Illumi volunteered too, so Gon stared at him for a moment before nodding and looking away. Illumi knows that Gon covered for him, but he has no sense of gratefulness because he’s still wondering why Gon didn’t blow his cover. Something was fishy to him, but it wasn’t the time to know Gon’s true colors.

Gon stood up, followed by Killua as they stared at each other. “Have rest, okay?” Gon mumbled and Killua nodded. 

“Don’t exhaust yourself,” Killua replied and so they separated ways for Gon to watch the area. It was a calm night, where Gon had to stare high. No risk of raining at the moment and the swish of the trees was calming. But the view of the naked trees in between wasn’t very appealing to him. 

However, he could wing it for three hours until he can go and sleep...


	11. Steamy Edges

The sound of silence engulfed Gon’s body, who sat and admired the whole existence. It’s been tarnished badly by humans’ destruction. And to return the world’s beauty, Gon knew sacrifices might be lying ahead. His elbows rested on his knees, trying to fight the cold longer, but his body was itchy from the lack of warm clothing. He was relying on his eyes most of the time, trying to rest his ear from overuse and focus.

An instant of peace was finally interrupted by a soft swishing sound of the pressed grass. He didn’t turn although he should be on the lookout. Deep down he knew who was coming closer, and his thoughts were confirmed when the familiar voice that he adored had risen into his functional ear; his voice spreads like an oasis of serenity amidst the havoc, and oh how much Gon loves to hear it. “Tired?” it didn’t last for a second, Killua’s voice, but it was enough to be followed by the pricking silence. 

Gon looked up and smiled at Killua’s presence. He patted the space next to him, so Killua joined. “Not really. Just trying not to overfocus on my hearing.” Said Gon. He looked at Killua as he got closer to him in their sitting positions. “So, why aren’t you asleep?” Once Killua had settled in his sitting position, Gon questioned. 

“Well, I couldn’t. I figured it would be better for me to sit with you instead of tossing and turning without avail.” Killua replied during his shifting again. He hugged his legs and rested his head atop his knees.

“But you need rest.”

“I’ll go to sleep when Illumi comes. It’s like an hour left or something…” 

Subsequently, Gon succumbed to Killua's persistence, so he looked back at the dark trees. "Alright, you can stay. What should we talk about?" He asked, and he was quite curious to know more about Killua. His hand engulfed the grass below to lean down slightly, so his head could look up at the stars.

"Well, I want to know more about you," And so, Killua confessed, putting a strand behind his ear and fixating his gaze on the trees as well. Gon didn't bother him, but he felt warm that Killua was interested. "So, I belong to a very wealthy family, but it is not the idealist family. I've had fights with them because they wanted to meddle in my life and university major. In the end, they won, and I went to study medical studies at the University of Savil." Killua shrugged, but the little confession startled Gon, so he turned to Killua curiously. "At least, I got to choose to go to Savil and stay away from their toxicity for a while." Killua started talking about himself, which would let Gon be encouraged to talk too. However, Gon was highly curious about Killua’s topic that he had no intention to talk about himself yet.

"So you didn't like your major." Gon mumbled, and Killua nodded simply after. "What did you wanna major in?" As curious as he could be, Gon tilted his head slightly to the right, he admired Killua stealthily, and so Killua did to him secretly — because no one could look away when such glimmering hazels are looking at him curiously, and that reflective auburn black hair to sway intelligibly. Gon was perfect, and so was Killua to him. 

"I'm not sure honestly. I had no time to decide, that's why I submitted to them. However, my skills were all directed to Fine Arts." Killua looked at the sky with a little smile. "I still can make any art I want without a degree. Probably, when the apocalypse ends, I will paint some bloody pictures for the next generation to see how the apocalypse was and all. If there are any next generations, and so on…"

"I like how you're very optimistic, but then you turn a tad bit pessimistic. That's kinda cute." Gon admitted, slipping a smile to his lips. He leaned towards Killua for a bit, brushing their shoulders playfully before straightening. The minuscule reaction slipped a smile into Killua's.

"I thought I might have a better life in Savil." Killua ignored Gon's remark for a while, but his heart couldn't ignore the compliment. It raced to his ears and they are getting hotter.

"But you ended up in a bar where we met. All drunk and vulnerable in front of drunk asses." Killua turned and grinned at Gon insulting himself. Gon knows he's an ass because he was one of those drunk asses, so he shrugged at Killua's mocking grin. 

"Well, yes. It is because of my ex." Killua looked away, his playful smile was existent, still. 

"He's an ex now. Why would you risk yourself and get in a bar alone at night and drink yourself until you get wasted for an ex?" Gon tried to surpass his disappointment, but he was desperate to discipline Killua for his bad decision. "You should've been more mature about your breakup. Going to a gym, maybe?"

Killua looked down at his knees with a complex and apprehensive look. It is easy for Gon to say that, for anyone to say that, but no one knows how much pain Killua had endured that month except for him. "It was too painful that I lost myself even without a drink, Gon." That shut Gon up for a bit. He doesn't wanna intervene and say something that might hurt Killua here or there. However, he was ultimately curious to know more.

But Killua continued, understanding how curious Gon is without saying. "My ex was my first love and he was like… Everything to me?" Killua's voice trembled, so he had to take breaths in between his words, not to break down or cry. "And, I thought… I thought he would get me out of my parent's grip, so we can always be together?" His question forms were tightening Gon's chest. The way Killua was talking let Gon know the outcome of his story in the end. 

"What did that bitch do to break such a cool person like you?" Gon mumbled, a tad bit dangerous this time. Killua didn't mind and kept on staring at the black sky. 

"Remember when we talked about looks and stuff? When I questioned you if you'd leave someone for their looks and all?" Gon only nodded, knitting his eyebrows to prepare his reaction to what Killua would say next. "Well, My boyfriend, Liam, went into a relationship with me for a year, because I'm  _ unique _ ."

"You are unique though." Gon replied.

Killua shook his head, too upset to reply to Gon's comment. "What I meant by unique is… I'm a hot, cool, beautiful person, but someone who is a virgin. I was keeping my distance from relationships, spotting guys betting on who would make me fall for them, after knowing that I'm gay, and taking my virginity away. It was disgusting." Gon flinched. He'd never imagined that someone would suffer like that just because of his chosen ideals. "Sometimes, I would get bullied for not doing sex stuff although I'm a college student…"

"Oh. Wow."

"Right? I never cared, but when Liam came into my life, his approach was kinda different? He never brought up that sexual talk, and it was fun hanging out with him."

Gon stared down at Killua. His cheeks were red, blocking the blood into them as if he's holding back some tears by holding his breath. Gon felt slightly irritated by seeing how life negatively affected someone just because he doesn't wanna try around and be with only one person. "Liam was quite the cool man although he was a coward. I'd defend him from bad guys out there, and I'd kill mosquitoes because he squeaks around insects in general. I didn't hate his cowardly self. I just felt he's being special?"

"When you love someone, you love everything about them, even their flaws. That's why they say Love blinds us from seeing the true colors of a person." Gon said, and surprisingly, Killua agreed. 

"Yes, he even asked me to do nipple piercing, and tongue piercing, and all that shit. I did everything to make him happy, and we had some steamy moments before. It wasn't  _ sex _ tho _.  _ I was never ready for that…"

"And you have to give consent… He better not—"

"It would've been easy if he was drunk. I would've forgiven him, yanno?"

Gon frowned. "That bitch—"

"Well, nothing happened, I was just insulted, so don’t overthink it.” Killua eyed Gon knowingly, who felt slightly heated. “I mean, I pushed him away… But the hurtful things he said about me being insecure, how horrible of a boyfriend I am, and that no one would actually fall for me if I stayed hiding under my clothes like that." Killua's breath hitched. "I don't wanna walk around naked for people to like me, yanno?"

"Of course." Gon never agreed to someone like that his entire life. Killua was ranting, and Gon was gleeful that he had to know such a great part of Killua's life. He was looking around the place, so he won't miss any attack, but his ear was focusing on Killua's conversation.

"When he dared to touch me without my consent, but I didn't wanna… I pushed him away right when that got explicit. That's when he said hurtful things and stormed out. The next day, we looked eyes in college like strangers… I understand that we've been together for mostly a year and a half. And I was preparing to tell him we will finally do it, but that happened." Killua chewed his lip for a second. "Nothing scarred me but his last statement when he said he wanted me because I'm unapproachable and… good looking."

"Well!" Gon interrupted, stopping Killua from continuing when Killua's voice started fading. Time to be a little funny. "If we met him here or there, maybe like a zombie, I'll make sure to kill him for you."

Killua looked at Gon and smiled gratefully. His eyes twinkled with emotions, not because Gon said that but because he felt protected.

"And I hope he had a hard time transforming to one."

Killua grinned. "Savage."

"He deserves it, that mosquito coward."

"They are annoying though…"

"Yeah, but running away and letting my boyfriend suffer alone is so…"

"Ungentlemanly, not so good looking."

"Yeah…"

They remained silent for a second before laughing genuinely. They weren't loud, but their cackles were sincere. "I'm kinda better now that I spilled that out."

"He's an idiot, that Liam." Gon mumbled, looking at the bush to his right to face away from Killua. "He spent a year and a half with you waiting to get sexual instead of enjoying how good a person you are. He wasted a year and a half on waiting instead of cherishing every moment with you. Wow, such a dick."

Killua's cheeks blossomed, smiling gratefully for a second. Gon showed him that he's not to be blamed for what Liam did. He's just hanging out with the wrong crowd. "Thank you, Gon. Although you weren't better than him, I still appreciate it."

Gon groaned and slumped his head down. "You had to say that."

"Just teasing," Killua mumbled, his tone was joyful and humourous for a second. 

"Both of us were so drunk. I'd love to show you how I truly am though."

"I'd love to see that," Killua replied. They were overwhelmed by a sudden emotion that was tied like a soft satin rope around them — making the atmosphere steamier.

"By the way…" Gon's husky tone, the one that's tarnished by his lust, emitted. "You'll be a virgin still because you haven't given consent… I apologize, Killua…"

"I don't care, and I don't hate that bonding anymore…" Gon's eyes widened in a part of the second before getting back to normal. However, he expressed how speechless and shocked he is when he didn't reply to Killua. "I think you're quite the gentleman, and I can't help but be grateful that I met you."

Killua's ringing words were enough for Gon to come closer. He didn't notice that Killua's hand was touching his hand on the ground, but it was an accepting gate for Gon to come even closer. Killua joined in closing the distance and their lips were intertwined lovingly. Gon didn't know what he's doing, but it felt right.

They kissed, and with each kiss, Gon came closer. His hand wrapped Killua's waist and pulled him in, so Killua lightly moaned into the kiss. The younger was hungry for more, but he submitted to Gon's hot lips on his, sucking the soul out of his lower lip. It was a hot kissing moment before Gon slipped his tongue into Killua's mouth. Killua loudly gasped, but he pulled Gon tightly when Gon nearly broke the kiss.

His gasp was involuntary, but that doesn't mean he wanted Gon to stop. When Gon noticed Killua's consenting gesture, he explored Killua's mouth in a rush. Running his tongue on his perfect teeth, and trying to reach the farthest spot he could in Killua's mouth, which triggered pleasure for the younger, who was shivering and clutching Gon's thin shirt tighter. 

Right then, Killua broke the kiss for breath. His eyes were slightly squinted, and the tip of his tongue was still apparent. Gon’s breath was released on his face, making Killua shiver. 

It didn’t stop there like Gon thought, because Killua’s hand went farther down to his crotch. Gon’s eyebrows involuntarily shrieked, but he controlled any possible gasp not to be embarrassed. He waited until Killua pressed, and that got him confused and sweaty. He really wanted to entice Gon like that? Is it okay? Should they do it? Does he really want this to happen? It’s not like they can forget about each other.

It was a tiny panic moment for Gon, and what snapped him was the unzipping sound of his pants. “I want to know the real you, sober man,” Killua mumbled, voice fading amongst his words. Gon’s stomach churned, and his heart throbbed. Killua’s hand was still there, waiting to continue. He wasn’t as nervous to answer as he was this time, which deemed Killua as someone important; Gon never gets nervous or serious about something unless it meant a lot to him. Thus, he couldn’t say a word at first, tongue-tied. 

Right then, Killua got closer, touching noses as an indirect kiss to illustrate his patience, still waiting for an answer. Deciding not to make Killua wait longer, he said the first thing that was in his mind. “And I want to see those nipple piercings.”

Killua was taken aback, retreating to his usual position, and his hand was no longer abusing Gon’s dick. Gon, for the first time, was burning from embarrassment. What did he just say? And Killua looked so shocked and embarrassed even when it was too dark. The only light is the light of one of the car’s lights… Killua shuffled a bit, huffing as if trying to shake off the embarrassment, he attentively shook his head down once. “Alright.” Gon didn’t recall seeing the piercings when they hooked up. Maybe he was too drunk to notice such a vague detail. All he could remember about Killua’s skin is how smooth and clean it was, porcelain that it was hard to believe it’s humanistic. And he recalls how guilty he was to mark it…

Suddenly, he snapped out of his thoughts when Killua took his torso clothes off. Puny piercings were tugged into Killua’s defined nipples, glimmering at the faint light of Illumi’s car nearby. They were far enough, which makes it hard to look at everything — and so Killua was lucky because his blush is too evident to be gone unnoticed. He wasn’t looking Gon in the eye, but he felt his eyes everywhere. “My hickeys aren’t completely fading yet…” He suddenly blurted, so Killua looked at him. 

A breeze bristled, so Killua shivered, but Gon’s sudden touch to one of his piercing sent a huge shriek to his spine. He let out a weird sound, clasping his hands over his mouth although he was too late. “Oh, wow.” Gon mumbled, scaring Killua. Whatever he came out with was ugly, but Gon seemed impressed. He wasn’t going to make Gon lead because he doesn’t wanna be fucked and wake everyone up in their camp. They don’t even have time.

However, he wanted something else, and something sexual to understand his relationship with Gon. They aren’t friends, that’s for sure. Killua wanted it to be romantic, and now he decided to take the first step… because, in an apocalypse, you do what you wanna do today because you might be dead tomorrow.

He sat on his knees, and Gon expectantly waited. Then, Killua looked at the soldier’s unzipped pants. He put his hand again, inside his boxers this time, and now Gon’s breath hitched. “You’re playing dirty.” Gon mumbled, so Killua slightly smiled. 

“‘Am not… I just wanna give you a blowjob… You fine with blowjobs?” He murmured, too embarrassed to talk dirty like that even though he did that talk with Liam before…

“Absolutely, when it is done by you…” Killua blushed. He couldn’t stop his body reaction to Gon’s hotness anyway, so he allowed himself to be a mess in front of him for the night. Gon looked around nervously, sitting on the rock with his pants still on, only unzipped with his dick out. His back was directed to the camp, so he could look like he’s sitting and on the lookout in case someone showed up.

Between his legs, Killua situated himself. He grabbed Gon's hard dick, and he was torso naked. His appearance alone was enough to make Gon harder, not to mention sitting between his legs. Gon covered his mouth and nose and looked away, trying to cover how lustful he had turned because of a college boy. Hot and saturated with saliva tongue swirled on his tip while one of Killua’s hands grasped it. Gon’s heart was beating in his ear, trying to be patient although Killua was teasing. Killua pumped Gon’s dick slowly, spitting on it. 

He never looked at Gon while doing it, fixating his gaze on his crotch. Too embarrassed. He’s too embarrassed to communicate with him during their first true sexual encounter, but the pleasure was already striking high. Killua put the thumb of his free hand on the tip, still pumping it with the other. He was contemplating how he could fit it in his mouth, but the size made Killua all tingly and hot, sweaty even.

He gulped, erasing his thumb and taking the tip in his mouth after lightly pressing it to his lips for a genuine tease. After two seconds of soaking it, hot and wet, he swirled his tongue around it again. Gon was silent, just examining Killua and biting his inner cheek. His heart was swollen out of emotions, too aroused to think, too aroused to talk, and he’s not the type to moan… Killua tilted his head for the tip to touch his inner cheek, both of his hands pumping Gon faster and faster. 

Gon’s hand involuntarily dived in Killua’s hair, but the latter didn’t mind. Afterward, Killua took as much of it inside as possible, moaning insignificant and rapid moans as he deepthroated Gon’s dick. In contrast, Gon was hyperventilating, enjoying Killua’s messed up look and falling for him deeper. What a face that he could make! That’s too hot, too hot that Gon feels like bursting into flames while looking at the man between his legs desperate for his cock. The attraction, the temptation led Gon to pull Killua closer, deeper. Killua’s hands played with the evident, little pubic hair, then he coughed when Gon’s dick was fully in.

After wiggling for a while then choking on his dick, Gon’s grip went lighter, and Killua took his dick out of his mouth to take a breath. They couldn’t sense any coldness because of their hot bodies. Upon Killua resting, Gon’s groin was still clutched by him, lightly pressed to his face. Gon was getting hornier by Killua’s look, and he felt guilty about the thoughts he got.  _ He’s lucky that Killua broke up, he’s lucky that Killua went to that bar and was wasted…. He’s lucky that he met someone as good as him… _ Grabbing Killua’s face to startle him, Gon started rubbing his groin on Killua’s face, technically between his nose and cheek. Killua tried freeing his head from Gon’s hands, pushing him backward. He ain’t letting Gon lead him, he said. He didn’t say it, but his actions were enough for Gon to understand. He rubbed Gon’s dick on his face for a while longer after sensing how pleasurable that was for Gon, then he put it back in his mouth to suck.

He sucked Gon’s shaft and pumped what remained outside, thrusting his face back and forth, moaning at the size and at Gon’s hand clutching his hair. His hands rested on both sides of Gon’s inner thighs until Gon forced him to let go and came on the grass. Killua slumped lightly on his knees, wiping his face, and trying to calm down. He was hard now, and he didn’t expect this to be that intense. So, he looked up at Gon, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression. Once their eyes met, Gon asked, “Are you okay?” 

“You mean did you enjoy it?” Gon looked away at Killua retort. “I loved it…” He looked back down at the man between his legs and sighed. Right then, he grabbed Killua’s shoulders and laid him down. 

“I think it’s my time to do that. You need to cum before your brother comes and sue us.” Killua blushed when Gon was on top of him. He took Killua’s pants down to his knees along with the boxers. Then, he extended three fingers to Killua’s mouth who looked up at Gon worriedly before fully submitting to him. Beforehand, Gon had zipped his pants again. Killua took his fingers in his mouth, sucking hungrily and twitching a bit from the pleasure. To make it harder for him, Gon pinched Killua’s nipple to make Killua gasp a moan. The pinch reminded him of their first night. Yes, yes he remembers those nipple piercings but vaguely now. The memory, somewhat, made him highly ecstatic, so he pinched a little harder for Killua to let out a louder moan and a body jolt. Gon snapped out of it, looking around worriedly. “Shhh.” Killua breathed out a faint cry when Gon took his fingers out of his mouth.

And without any warning, he extended Killua’s legs as far as they could get with the pants still tugged on his knees, then thrust two fingers at once. Killua’s groin twitched and his back arched. Gon needs that to be fast, and so he decided to be hard on Killua to cum fast. Once Killua settled to Gon’s two fingers, he directly thrust the third even before Killua could rest. He arched again, covering his lips. Gon was fine with that as long as Killua doesn’t moan loud and expose them. 

He started squirting his hole, looking at Killua’s hot body reaction, and pumping his dick to make it extra pleasurable. Moreover, he couldn’t resist the look of Killua’s slightly defined abs that he had to press his hand on for extra attention before pumping his dick again. Killua put his hands on his chest, squeezing his nipples and moaning loud. Gon was impressed, biting his lip as he observed. It was a challenge not to get hard again, fingering him faster to make him go crazy, rolling his eyes and fully losing control over his body — not to mention his little audible breaths; with each fast breath, a desperate audible moan. And as if something was vibrating into Killua, he moaned too lightly and sequentially as his lower half trembled while cumming. His toes and feet were hard-pressed to the ground, and his hands were squeezing his nipples intently until he slumped down to breathe. Gon brought the moss that he spared, and wiped the cum Killua spurted on his pale half-defined abs. 

Killua tiredly stared at Gon, feeling each bead of sweat as it strode down his forehead. Gon helped him wear his clothes and told him to drink a cup of water before sleeping. They sat next to each other for a while to calm down, but Killua got himself up a bit, riding his lap for the last minute to kiss Gon on the lips and thank him for the whole experience. Lips hungrily connected, sucking and tasting the other after an  _ adventurous _ night. Killua needed that, so he licked Gon’s lower lip gleefully.

"Oh, well." They both broke free from the kiss, panting and looking away at the sudden monotone voice. "What am I seeing right now?" Killua looked up to the spot the dark features of his brother. He bit his lower lip, straightening his messed up hair subconsciously. He has no excuse to tell his brother because he was caught red-handed. Gon was awfully silent as well, but when he sensed that Killua was in trouble, he decided to speak up. "It was my fault." Since when was he there? Both of their hearts pounded. Killua was ready to blow upon him if he dared and said anything, but he wanted to keep it a secret if Illumi only saw them kissing. 

He looked at Gon in shock when Gon blamed himself, but Gon didn't look back. He continued, "I led Killua to kiss me back." And by that, Killua knew they would act as if nothing else happened. He looked at his brother with red cheeks then looked away when Illumi eyed him. 

"Stay away from my brother. Aren't you being an asshole?"

"Illumi, shut up." Again, he glared at his brother menacingly, grasping Gon's hand to express his objection. "I do what I want. I love whoever I want."

"Killu, go back to sleep. Now." Killua stood up, so did Gon. He was speechless, trying so hard not to interfere between brothers. 

"You can't order me around. I'm fucking nineteen."

"You're still my little brother, and when I see that you're doing the wrong stuff, I have a right to stop you," Illumi replied, eyes void of emotion, and only filled with control. 

"Suck to be you honestly. A person who thinks love is wrong needs therapy." Killua spat, chest to chest with his brother. Gon only stared wide-eyed at Killua.  _ Love _ . Well, yes. He knows but saying that aloud was a big surprise to Gon. 

"He's a man, and he's older than you, Killu."

"I don't fucking care! He's not that old either, you homophobic prick!"

Illumi grabbed Killua's arm harshly, so Gon glared and was ready to intervene. However, Illumi gave him one look that said,  _ Don't interfere. It's not your business. _ Gon stood in his place, but he didn't back out just yet.

"Back to the car. We will discuss this later. When my parents know about it, you will be in big trouble."

"So will you." Killua threatened back. It was the first time Gon witnessed a crease on Illumi's eyebrows. "Don't forget about that Clown. I can also blow your cover." Illumi left Killua's forearm, still looking at his brother with an unreadable look. 

"My relationship with Hisoka is payback."

"Tell that to my parents, but I have pictures that prove you otherwise."

Gon was taken aback by the sibling's talk. Pictures? Payback? What? He would never understand that life, where brothers threaten each other to keep dangerous secrets. It is ill, and Gon doesn't like it. 

Illumi was silent for a moment before he ordered Killua back to sleep. Killua didn't reply, knowing that it is time to stop nudging his brother. He went back to Gon and smiled guiltily. "Sorry, brother's innuendos are sickening… I… I enjoyed whatever we had a moment ago."

Gon stared at Illumi's piercing eyes then down at Killua's red cheeks. He smiled, nodded, and head-gestured for Killua to leave. So, the latter finally obliged. Once he was out of sight, Gon and Illumi had an intense staring contest. "You're causing a lot of troubles. Mind you stop coming for my brother's ass?" Illumi bluntly asked.

It was dangerous, the atmosphere between them. Gon frowned at Illumi's retort. "We aren't friends for you to talk informally with me. Mind your way of talking to me, especially that I saved your ass although you tried killing me out there."

"Oh, yea? Why would you think that I will stop the attempt of killing you?"

"If I die, the secret of the whole apocalypse will die with me."

Illumi's eyes sharpened into a full snake-like glare. As if Gon hit a vein, Illumi couldn't allow Gon to die now. His instincts were right. Gon knows something about the crisis they're passing in, and he can't allow that to be undone. "What do you know?" Illumi asked.

"Why would I tell you?"

"Because cooperating will make us return this world back to normal."

"And why do I have to trust you?"

"You have no other choice." They stared at each other intently, then Gon walked away without a word. He made himself comfy next to the green Kia, covering himself with a blanket Illumi provided from his car. And slept.

Illumi watched the place after that, his eyes piercingly inspected for a mile's radius, or that’s how it felt like. After an hour of silent watching, he started to wonder about the squirrel. How would that thing be infected? What if it was infected by a water source? If the virus can live through water sources and transports, then the whole world might be infected by now. He got up and moved around, carefully moving with silent gaits. He heard the whisk of the air, something unusual was crushing when he walked deeper for ten minutes. He walked towards the source of noise to see animals are eating a dead body. The basket of hay thrown around indicated that he's a farmer. There is a farm nearby and it is wholly infected. Calculating his moves, Illumi turned to rush back to the camp, but he saw another farmer in a distance, a few feet from him. Walking stealthily, curiously investigating the farmer, who suddenly turned to spot Illumi.

Is their sense of smell that strong? Illumi took a step back when the infected person was a few inches away from him. His bloody mouth was near his flesh, so Illumi wrapped a cloth from his pocket to punch the rotten flesh of the infected. It was a strong hit that made the infected stumble a step back, which gave Illumi the chance to retreat to the camp. "Wake up. Zombies are all around the place. There is a farm nearby." Gon's eyes fluttered open, knocking on Wing's door to wake up. It was easy to wake him up, so he rolled down his window for Gon to explain the situation. Leorio was on a snoring fit, and Gon had to kick his door with his military ringer to wake him up.

"AN ATTACK! DUCK!" Gon's lips twitched humorously at Leorio's reply, looking around frantically to know what happened. When his eyes rested at Gon, he glared. "Is that how you wake up a man?!"

"You weren't waking up." Gon grinned when Leorio looked to see Palm was awake and laughing at his heavy sleep. "Get ready, we're fleeing."

Gon was going to get in Leorio's car, but Illumi grasped his wrist and led him to the Ferrari. "You're riding with us." He said sternly, so Gon obliged and got into the passenger seat.

Killua was still sleeping, but he woke up when Illumi turned the engine to life. "What? What? Dawn already?"

"We are surrounded." Gon answered and the infected attacked right when they drove back to the main road. Gon's eyes stared at Illumi's swollen fingers, squinting his eyes and debating what he should say. The three longest fingers of his right hand were swollen just like Killua's shoulder. "Have you had any contact with one?"

"Yes."

"No barrier?"

"A piece of cloth."

"We need to disinfect it." At Gon's final statement, Killua shuffled around to find the first aid kit. Illumi didn't reply to Gon, but Killua put the kit on his lap. "Ready when we park." He said, so Gon looked backward and nodded. 

°•~~~•°

Finally reaching another district in New Risal. There wasn't much chaos here, and they needed fuel for the cars. The cars drove towards the gas station, but it was weird when they found a few people surrounding something. "Why are they here? They don't look infected." Illumi had already fixed his fingers, wrapping them neatly with bandages. 

"Yeah, they aren't infected." Illumi agreed to Gon's statement. Killua was confusedly looking from behind, trying to get the scene clear. 

"Should we go there?" Killua questioned.

"We need fuel anyway." And Illumi replied.

Finally deciding to ride to the gas station, the group, who are a bunch of gangsters, all turned to the approaching cars. What they were surrounding was a blonde slim person. The scene illustrates a bullying gang to a nerd student in school, or that's how Killua could put it. 

Suddenly, they heard someone open the door of his car, and Leorio stepped out with a broad chest and raised chin. "What are you doing to that lady?!"

Gon and Killua choked and laughed inside the car when Leorio literally called a male by a lady. Illumi drove inside and got out to fuel his car, so did Wing. Bisky benefitted from Leorio making a scene to fill Leorio's car with gasoline. On the other hand, Gon got out with Killua to fill tanks and put them in their bunks. Alas, the gang had other thoughts. 

"Who are you? Can't you see that we are busy?!" A blonde buffed man yelled, his hand was clutching the head of the bloody slim man. "There are zombies around… be careful~"

They think it is a joke, so that explains why they didn't flee. Gon ignored them, allowing Leorio to do all the bickering. He helped Killua fill the tanks when Leorio was trying to defend  _ the lady _ . Everything changed when someone tried hitting Leorio, so everyone engaged in the fight. Palm ran in between the fight to grasp the hand of the blonde and take him into their Kia. Then, Bisky and Wing slipped back into the Honda and so did Illumi, Gon, and Killua. 

Once Illumi resettled into the car, he drove forward, making the group of gangsters jump away from the road instead of being smashed by his Ferrari. Leorio ran back to his car and everyone fled away before the maniacs could follow.

“That was smooth,” Killua commented, looking behind to see if they are chased or not. “We need to stop next to a weapons shop, Ill-ni.” He mumbled again. Illumi had that thought, but he’s not so familiar with that city. They had to stop aside and ask Leorio, who’s a citizen of this city. Leorio took the lead for a while until they found the weapons shop. 

They stopped next to it, abandoned like the rest of the city. "Let's avoid downtown and places where it could be crowded. It's New Years’ now if I'm not mistaken. Christmas also. So the infected might be there now because of the crowd." Gon demonstrated and Illumi agreed to that. Killua got out with his brother to bring enough weapons. A sniper for Killua and other stuff that they might use such as swords, knives, and guns. Anything they could find. They filled the cars with weapons, but Gon suddenly walked into the rustic shop. He looked around then walked down to the basement after breaking the locked door. “These weapons you brought might not help.” Gon muttered, eyeing the confused Killua and his brother. He trotted down the dangerous narrow stairs to the basement. It stored better quality weapons if Gon knew where to search and which crates to open. Melting. It is the only way to defeat The virus. William suggested acid, and Killua discovered that alcohol is a substitute. In addition, William talked about betadine and its temporary effects on the virus. Thus, killing them means melting them. He searched around for the weapon in mind. 

“What are you searching for?” Killua suddenly interrupted, so Gon turned to him before looking at the huge crates. 

“Flamethrowers.” Illumi hummed impressively at Gon’s remark and didn’t hesitate to start searching with him. 

“For real?! How can we find these in this shop? Are they even legal to sell?” Killua objected. He doesn’t want to waste time and search for a weapon that might not be available in local shops. 

“New Risal is known for legalizing weapons such as Flamethrowers.” Gon said and Killua walked straight to the nearest crate. “They are too expensive, that’s why you don’t see them often. However, they are a hundred percent legal in one hundred countries or more.” 

“Ooo! Military information!” Killua sarcastically replied while searching. “How can we beat the zombies' ass with these anyway?” 

“Alcohol.” Killua turned to Gon and blinked confusedly. “We need bottles of alcohol to fire at in their faces or something. This will make the fire extra stronger, but it’s excessively dangerous.” 

“That’s a death wish, Gon,” Killua mumbled, but Gon ignored and grabbed a flamethrower with a serious smile. “Gon…” Killua mumbled again, and Illumi turned to him, walked, and stood next to the crate Gon found the gun in. There was only one. 

“I expected to find only one here. They cost around twenty grand, so it would be crazy to have more than one. Let’s go.” Killua was upset the whole way back to the car. It seemed so dangerous, and he knew already that Gon is a risk-taker. Taking the sniper he found, Killua went into the car with Gon. Both of them were busy with the weapons they'd chosen while Illumi kicked the engine back to life so they could continue driving towards Mt. Risal. "Hopefully the highway won't have any people…" Killua mumbled, checking his sniper.

"Never knew you're a sniper." Killua turned to Gon, a faint blush surpassed his facials.

"It's a skill that my parents required me to learn." Gon nodded, eyes fixated on the road before him. "I wonder if Leorio is embarrassed yet or not. He screwed up when called that man a lady." Killua jumped from one topic to another, trying to escape his raging thoughts. He was extremely worried by Gon’s weapon choice, and no one can blame him. He could form severe damage to the infected by that weapon even without alcohol, but Gon wasn’t thinking like that. He was thinking about how that flames will last and are they enough to melt the infected fast?

The cars drove onto the highway road. It was deserted on both sides, which is to their advantage. They hoped that nothing would cut their way until they reach the republic of Padokea, where Killua’s mansion is. Alas, the wind doesn’t blow the way the ships want. A small figure on a three-wheel bike was biking the whole way from the waste area to where cars stopped. Gon directly spotted him and identified him. He’s a child. Even though Illumi warned him that children can be infected too, Gon said they can’t ride a bicycle.

Running towards the boy who spotted Gon and biked faster. Once he was near, he jumped off the bicycle and ran to hug Gon out of fear. Killua was hot on Gon’s trails with his M24 sniper gun. Three infected people were chasing the boy, and both males spotted them from a distance. The distance between them and the boy was great, indicating how fast the boy was biking — but not enough. The deserted area, the striking sun, the vast perimeter were all to the boy’s advantage. “Let’s go!” Killua yelled, but the infected's pace increased vastly. Killua pointed his gun to fire, frightening the boy and impressing Gon. “Fuck.”

“Ineffective!” Gon yelled, pushing Killua and the boy away. “Take cover!” Right when he pushed Killua away, one of the fast infected reached Gon who directly kicked his jaw with his ringer to make him stumble and earn some time. “Killua! LEAVE!” Illumi suddenly grabbed Killua’s arm and forced him to move out. The sense of responsibility shot in Killua again, when the boy screamed. He crouched down and carried him to run to the car. He swerved, the child shivering in his hands. The other two infected people reached Gon and Illumi. Illumi had a weapon, but Gon was defenseless. He put the child in the car looking at his minimalistic features. A Down Syndrome Child. "Stay there! Don't leave the car, okay?" As softly as he could, Killua instructed the boy who seemed around eight years old. 

In contrast, Gon dodged one of the attacks, back to back with Illumi. "You better stay alive with your secrets," Illumi muttered, so Gon had to reply. "And you better not make Killua cry after your death." Wishing each other luck indirectly, both of them tried winning against the apocalyptic creatures. 

Infected humans who became sculptures for viruses and bacteria, forming a widely dangerous weapon that was intending to destroy humanity — or it had gone wrong. Suddenly Leorio threw the shielded sword towards Gon, screaming for Gon to catch it. What can a sword do to creatures like these? They didn't try, and it's better than being defenseless. 

Gon took rapid steps back as the infected human growled, bent, and moved faster. He raised the sword, hitting it on his head once to slit the skin, probably the upper flesh, but it seemed as if that didn't affect him. With torn muddy clothes, opened on his rotten torso, Gon tried thrashing the thin sword into his chest. However, the rapid steps of the human dug on the ground and made Gon stumble hard. He dug his feet on the ground too, not to lose control.

The third infected human ran to the Ferrari, where Killua and the child were. Gon spotted him, but he was preoccupied with the one he's fighting, and so was Illumi. Killua was as fast as the other two at spotting the sudden crash of the infected, crashing the back window and scaring the boy. Killua was on the other side, still standing outside while the boy was clutching into him. He pointed his sniper and shot inside the car and into the clear human's face. He growled, trying to get closer towards the flesh of the child, but Killua reloaded and shot again. "FUCK YOU!" He yelled desperately, but the infected human, with two shots in the head, wasn't dying.

Leorio had to come for the rescue again although he was so scared of coming closer to that human. But he knows when someone is in trouble. On his side, stepped the blonde, holding two swords with a dedicated look. "Can't you see Gon?! A sword can do nothing! It's your fault for asking for swords!" Leorio yelled, still ashamed of himself when he knew that the blonde was a male. Kurapika, the blonde, ignored Leorio's complaints and moved forward, wearing a strange metallic chain. 

He dangled the one in his middle finger, perfectly throwing it around the neck of the infected human. The latter turned towards him, and Kurapika threw one of the swords at his one of his eyes. If he blinded him, they would get enough time to flee. 

The infected ran toward Kurapika, but Killua was faster, holding a  _ wet  _ dagger. He sliced right above Kurapika's chain, where the infected's main vein is, so the betadine on his dagger can be absorbed by the infected. He growled in pain, trying to turn to look at Killua with a sword stuck deep in one of his eyes. Dark blood enveloped his face, and his crystalized eye pierced in Killua's soul. Then, it fell. 

"You two are amazing!" Leorio exclaimed happily when Killua and kurapika smiled gratefully at each other. Their peace was suddenly interrupted by a loud grunt of pain. Killua's time halted at the sound and slowly turned. Bloody teeth opened a wide gush in Gon's arm as the  _ zombie _ bit it. Illumi lost focus on the infected that he's fighting when he turned to look at Gon with a wide eyes, so he earned a strong hit by the infected he was fighting — which sent Illumi crashing to the ground with a deep head injury. Right when Gon noticed that  _ he's bitten _ , he clutched the zombie with his other arm because there was nothing left to lose. 

Gon has to react and kill it before it kills anyone else. He looked at everyone to command them to flee, but they were looking at both Gon and Illumi in shock. So, Gon yelled painfully…  _ "Leave!" _


	12. Trauma

Tension.

Tension swayed back and forth like a vibrating barrier. The barrier was a fit of vibration between the crew who first killed a zombie and the other two males who deemed their mission a failure.

On the sand-floor, Illumi grunted from pain. His head blood devoured, and his facials painfully scrunched. He tried looking at the stilled background, at his shocked team, at his brother's ghostly face. That's when it came to him  _ why _ everyone looks so haunted. Gon.

He averted his gaze to the guy standing a few feet from him. As if finally his sense of hearing came back. Gon is now grunting in pain. And a human mutant was biting his forearm as if famished for flesh.

"Killua! What are you waiting for?!" Gon yelled. It wasn't exactly a cry for Killua. He was yelling at everyone to move. The infected human next to Illumi growled and limped to him again, but he fell all of a sudden. Kurapika was standing behind with a dagger. He cut something into his neck, forcing the man to die.

Killua used the same weapon, but it was dumped to the ground when he witnessed Gon failing. "I said leave!" After a grunt of desperation, a cry out of pain, Gon's voice wasn't the most beautiful song in Killua's ears anymore. 

He hyperventilated although it wasn't the best time to do so. Gon’s not allowed to leave. Not after the bond, not after sharing a special thing a day prior. His feet moved, and he took a step forward instead of backward. He's rescuing Gon, he's killing a bitch.

"Killua!" Leorio screeched, forcing the other to stop. His grasp on Killua's wrist burned, but Killua didn't look back. His eyes pierced into Gon, into his chest to visually inspect his breathing, his facials, his clenched jaw, his bleeding arm. He inspected the new apparent veins all around the bite. The infected human growled and tried to take a huge bite, to disintegrate Gon's skin. And with each tug, Gon dismantled.

He didn't wait any longer. He ran to Illumi's car, which others considered a sign of fleeing. However, Killua had other thoughts in mind. He went back to where the child rested, in the back seat. Even though the engines of the cars were all back to life, Killua was ready to let everyone leave without him. He's not leaving his brother and Gon. It was obvious that Illumi had a deep head injury out there too.

"Hand me the box." Although he quivered, although his voice danced within his demanding words, the boy looked around to notice the first aid kit. He hurried with his puny moves and handed the box to Killua.

Anyone would consider him crazy to try and rescue someone who already holds the virus. Gon's out there, fighting still. He didn't growl yet. He didn't turn yet!

He grabbed the last two bottles of disinfector. One is betadine, the other contains alcohol. He didn't forget to grab the flamethrower along the way. Who would've guessed Killua would use that first? He wouldn't care if that will blast and kill all of them if this will save Gon and him the suffering of turning. 

He threw the betadine to the ground, the disinfector was thrown in the air a second after. Killua fixed the loading of the flamethrower, mentally noting that whatever the gas it holds will be enough for one click. Gon shut his eyes when he witnessed the empty eyes of Killua.

That wasn't a look Gon recognized. It felt like a look of the devil. As if Killua ditched his kind soul that Gon once knew and loved. Killua's narrowed eyes, Killua's tight lips, Killua's focused gaze all reformed a fragment of  _ I better see you dead than deformed. _ And Gon is grateful if that's how Killua thinks. He prefers dying instead of turning.

Right the second the disinfector was thrown, right when Killua loaded the shot fast as if steadying a bazooka, Killua clicked and the fire was blown double, no, triple its allowed flame size. 

As Gon expected, the flame will increase once interacted with alcohol. He shut his eyes, listening to the growls of what blocked the flames from reaching him. Alas, parts and bits were burning all around Gon, who hissed and waited. It wasn't the only pain entangling his veins. It was, in fact, a distraction from the real pain.

The hot minute curtailed until it disappeared. The once infected human had become a burned pile of black like ash bones. It fell to the ground to reveal the albino behind. Gon looked at him and squinted his eyes indefatigably. He wanted to ask for a favor, to say  _ kill me _ , but he was frozen amidst the pain. His voice formed a lump in his throat, his eyes were shut, and the last thing he was able to feel was his head hitting the ground.

"Gon!" That voice again… Killua's voice. Like a memory of ecstasy shooting euphoria to the spine. Gon's eyes enclosed shut, but his functional ear was pleased to hear the unmistakably stunning tone. "Gon! Gon!" Killua wasn't screaming anymore, but his voice was closer, undeniably closer. The sound of hurried feet halted, and a new movement emitted. Once everything was silenced, he heard the angelic tone again. "Gon… You'll survive. Can you hear me?" The voice was right over his head, in case his ear wasn't playing any tricks. 

The disturbing sound of his rigid breaths disrupted the tune, but he couldn't stop himself from breathing loud.

A lot of voices jammed around him, feet running and tripping. Yells and fights. Gon found it hard to listen to what they're saying, but the only voice he wanted to focus on was Killua's. How persistent he is to stay with Gon. That's wrong.

He wanted to tell Killua that, but he couldn't.

"I'm not leaving, damn it!" Killua's cold hand rested atop Gon's forehead. It felt overwhelming. His hand was cold on Gon's feverish and sensitive skin. "Gon. Please, talk to me. If you can't, nod or do any reaction to notify me that you're still here." 

Gon's breath dismantled for a second, but his sign of consciousness was a mere frown. Killua wasn't sure if it was the sign, or it's just a fragment of Gon's pain. He hoped for the best. "There is a rope we brought from the weapon's shop. Bring it!" He demanded, and in a half minute, the rope was with him.

"What are you going to do?!" Wing impugned and crouched down next to Killua, next to the deformed arm and the torn flesh. 

"I'm cutting it," Killua says.

"This might not help! The virus might be in his system already!" Bisky yelled. "This will cause him more pain!"

"Can you shut up?!" Killua yelled back. Gon was hardly coping, and there is no time to waste for doubt. He tightened the thin and steady rope right above the elbow. "I know how to make it less painful…"

"Break it." Killua turned to Leorio. "Break the elbow." Killua nodded. Doctors think alike, and Leorio confirmed that this is the right way to numb the pain.  Gon couldn't look at Killua's traumatized eyes, and he didn't say a word. Blood dripped down from his arm, and everyone was hypnotically silent. 

"No one could survive the weapon without some sacrifices, right?" Gon suddenly said, forcing himself to say something. To encourage Killua, maybe. Killua's lips pressed to a thin line to prevent trembling. He only nodded, bangs covering his agonized eyes merrily.

"You're an idiot," Killua mumbled, longing to hear Gon's profanities, but the latter wasn't saying a thing, because he couldn't. "But maybe that's why I love you…" Gon smiled, and it was a mix of sarcasm and pain. "I will repair you, Gon…" 

Right then. Amongst the screaming silence. Amongst the chaotic world, they're in right now, the sound of cracking bones enchanted. Then, Gon's scream.

Someone screamed, and someone cried, and someone flinched audibly like a hiss of pain. Killua didn't know who from who, and it was the least of his worries. Under the elbow, Gon's arm is mutated. The flesh was darkened to a dirty color. It felt like asphalt when Killua grazed his fingers on it. The red lively veins were popping all around the swollen, monstrous bite. However, over the elbow is still humanistic.

Maybe there is a chance.

Once the screech of Gon's deep voice turned to grunts and breathless pants, Killua saturated a sword with betadine. His shivers were too evident to everyone. They weren't too hard to spot. "Should I do it for you?" Kurapika asked.

"No. I'll do it," Killua mumbled. "It… It has to be me…" What Killua said didn't explain to anyone around them  _ why _ it has to be him. But, as if a deep connection bound the two males, Killua knew that Gon won't survive it without Killua. 

He's not weak, but if he was able to talk, Killua felt that he'd say that.  _ It has to be Killua and no one else.  _ And Killua won't back out. 

The sword touched the flesh, the blueish flesh due to the rope groping. Right above the dislocated, broken, and mutated elbow. A thin line of blood seeped. Gon's breathless pants hitched. Killua's throat dried. His fingers froze. And then a painful and dry scream escaped Gon's cracked lips.

The sword reached the middle of his flesh. Oh, how much he hates Gon for being muscular at this instant. It would've been easier without all of this. Easier for both of them. Killua grunted, forcing them to cut deeper, unaware of the trauma he's getting.

He was unaware of the following fear that is crawling all over to his brain, to his subconscious. Shell-shock, aka post-traumatic stress disorder. He knew that he wouldn't survive it and remain mentally steady, especially when his eyes brimmed with tears while disintegrating an organ of someone he loved. By himself. 

Causing the one he loves so much pain.

Because he's selfish.

Because he wants Gon to stay alive.

"We… We… We're almost—" Leorio pushed Killua out of the way. He was prepared to take it from there. 

"Clothes." Calmly, he requested. Kurapika didn't hesitate to fill the assistant role. Killua stared in shock at Gon and all the team working to stop the bleeding. He wanted to absorb what just happened. He sat. And observed.

Then, he hesitantly crawled over Gon. He put the wasted soldier's head atop his lap, and his hands grazed his sunken cheeks. Those that had a sexy and tan curve. The ones Killua always wanted to touch whenever he looked at Gon. "You're fine. You're fine now." He wasn't sure, but Gon's fever dimmed down. 

He's not conscious, is he? Is the transformation interrupted or completed? Is Gon a danger to them after suffering from all the pain? "Gon…" Killua mumbled.

Anyone around can figure how disoriented Killua is at this moment. Maybe it wasn't fun and games from the beginning… It was an apocalypse ever since they woke up that day. 

How much time has passed? The days were jammed with the nights. Who would've known this would happen at Christmas. 

Oh, yes. Christmas. It all started on Christmas eve. Now, it's probably January. At least New Year's is over. Killua's sure of that. 

_ Happy New Year! _

Killua sobbed, trembled, clutched Gon's jaw protectively.

Something was hitting his nervous system, making him so disoriented. No-one stopped his ugly sobs from emitting, not a single soul interrupted his loud cries.

He'd attract zombies! But no one cared.

He doesn't know how much time passed after cutting Gon's forearm, but the screams and grunts of Gon are still there, blocking the voice of Leorio’s instructions and his aid to block the bleeding. If he didn't witness Gon sleeping, he'd think the screams are real. His hands were grasping Gon's jaw tightly as if he's afraid Gon would start biting. 

"I think he survived it," Leorio mumbled. He was hesitant to judge by the condition Gon is in. "I… I think the excessive bleeding after cutting his arm cleaned his blood from any possible infection in the system. We have to keep an eye out." He added cautiously.

He targeted Killua because, somewhat, Killua was the only one that everyone considered close enough to Gon. It didn't get to Killua until now that he knows nothing about Gon yet. He shouldn't die…

"I threaded the injury, but it is not enough because it's… deep. We have to get to your mansion and… bring medical equipment, so I can use that…" Killua didn't reply, but it was the cue to move.

Before he loses him.

Suddenly, the presence next to him cast a shadow over the traumatized teenager. "Killu. It's time to gather yourself and get up. Time to go home." The monotone voice of his brother was scratched. He looked up, allowing Gon some privacy to check up on his injured brother. His head was bandaged too. 

"Gon…"

"We're taking him with us, but you're sitting in the front seat, and the blonde will come with us to kill him in case he suddenly turns." Kurapika stepped to the front with a dedicated look.

With the help of Leorio, Illumi dragged Gon to the car. Bisky carried the child to the Honda with her other two children. She wondered if her children are traumatized by everything they've witnessed… They weren't talking, nor crying.

And they mounted the cars, rode the road…

In agonizing silence.

°•~~~•°

He sharply inhaled.

"Oh. You're awake." Killua's irises danced forcibly. What did he dream of?

_ Flesh. _

_ Blood. _

_ Zombies. _

_ Gon… _

_ Gon transformed.  _

_ Gon nearly bit him. _

"Where is he?" He didn't bother knowing the person talking to him, nor giving him a look. "Where is Gon?" It is a tragedy. 

When did he reach this bed?

Where is he anyway?

What's the day today?

"He's isolated in a room, still unconscious." Killua finally turned to look at the short-hair male.

He's grown. He's an attractive teenager now, with that hard look that reminded him of their dad. "Kalluto."

"Hey, brother." Kalluto stood up, cold pinkish irises pierced on his brother. "I have to notify Father that you've woken up. You shouldn't move because you're injured."

"Am I?" Killua mumbled. "What happened?"

His younger sibling didn't have the time to reply because the metallic door squeaked to life and someone came inside. "Big brother!" She screamed, Alluka. Her steps echoed when she ran to hug him. "I thought you'll die! I was so scared!"

Killua doesn't recall he injured himself.  _ Oh _ . Maybe that wasn't a dream? Gon really transformed?

"How's he?" Killua trembled, pushing Alluka off a little to breathe. Her hair was cut to the shoulder and tightly tangled in a ponytail. "What happened to him?" His tears slipped down in fear. The look on both of his sibling’s eyes scared him. Alluka's short hair also scared him. She loved long hair, what happened?

"He didn't wake up yet, brother," Kalluto confirmed, frowning at the state his idol brother is in. "You suddenly went hysterical when the medical team tried taking Gon away from you. Ill-ni had to knock you out."

Killua was relieved. He gulped, but there was no saliva to saturate his cavern. "Water." Alluka obliged, pouring water into a plastic cup and helping him to drink.

"I'll take care of him. Go notify Father." Kalluto nodded at his sister's demands. She returned her attention to her brother and forced him to lay down again. "Why the rush, big brother? You'll see Gon now or later." She said when the older tried getting up again. "No one is hurt, I promise. All of them are alive."

Killua didn't have to talk. Alluka always understood what he wanted from the look of his eyes. He wondered what happened to the rest of the crew. If Illumi dumped them and accelerated, or if he listened to Killua's pleas about helping them survive. Thankfully, Alluka came prepared. It gave Killua the minute to look at his matured sister.

The solid look on her face, her darkened irises from witnessing a lot of pain. He wonders what happened when he wasn't here. Her hair was longer than the shoulders' length, but her usual front strands are still as long as he could remember. Those baby face accessories hung on them. Without them, Killua wouldn't have recognized his baby sister. 

She sat next to him on the bed, rubbing his hand soothingly. The pungent smell in the room was revolting, but Killua was trying to cope mentally. "You've been out for three days, big brother."

"Oh. Why am I injured again?"

"You hit your head when Ill-ni knocked you out. But you're fine now. Just…"

"Mentally shattered." Killua finished the sentence.

"How do you feel?" After the burning silence of Killua's confession, Alluka worriedly asked.

Her hand involuntarily tightened over her brother's. She grasped it tightly as she uses it whenever she treats an injured human. "Surviving." That is the only word Killua could think of. "No infected people in Padokea?" He mumbled.

"There is. Our mansion is now a camp for survivors." Alluka threw the bomb. They stared at each other in silence, and Alluka waited for the information to sink into Killua's mind. "Father is the leader of the whole extermination process." She threw the next information, but Killua was speechless. "Children and old people are the only ones that aren't forced to fight." She mumbled.

"Gon…"

"He's injured. Father won't send him to the battlefield now."

"But he will…"

"Yes. When he gets better." Killua shut his eyes, grasping the sheets and trying not to lash out. "He lost an arm…" Killua said, trembling. "Why would we fight when we know we lost?!" He yelled.

Alluka didn't even flinch. She just listened. "Weren't we always raised to fucking give up when we know the enemy is stronger?!"

"Well. No one wants to die without defending themselves, brother. It's not like we can run away like we were taught to." She shut him up.

"He won't send you out of the gates, will he?" Killua inquired threateningly. His eyes held the devilish desires of fucking the shit out of who comes Alluka's way. 

"I'm not a fighter, big brother. I'm a medic." Killua's eyebrows flattened after his sister's confession. "When they sent you to college. I had a desire to, you know? Follow you. It felt genuine to study the same major. It is only one year until I go to college and pursue your major." Alluka slightly smiled. "Had those ideas to live with you in an apartment even if it was one year…"

"So?" Killua inquired again.

"So, I had to take advanced classes about it. You know our family… I had great knowledge and now experience. Fixed a lot of patients."

Killua feels proud. Although they couldn't live together as Alluka intended, it was nice to hear what she thought she wanted in her future. Then, the door squeaked to life again. Both Zoldycks were startled when the familiar giant joined. "Father."

"How are you doing, Killu?" Silva, with all his possessed power and might, allowed himself into the metallic room. "I'm glad you survived and came back."

"Father. I want to meet Gon and everyone."

"How do you feel?" Silva turned to Alluka for the report, so she steadied her posture and looked at her father just as sternly.

Everyone matures faster in an apocalypse…

"Everything is functional. Physically, his body is coping with everything quite well. However, we do assume that Killua might face a few mental illnesses. He woke up from a nightmare, noted from his hyperventilation before waking up."

Silva strictly nodded, turning to Killua. Kalluto stood beside him, but Silva's powerful appearance fully covered the one Kalluto possesses. "Give him a tour." He ordered, then left without a second word. 

Killua didn't notice until this moment that Kalluto and his father are armed. "Guys, take me to Gon." Kalluto knew that Killua isn’t going to take no for an answer, so he let out a sigh, looked at his brother struggling to sit up, and looked down to think. Gon… Someone who impressed his big brother.

Killua didn't notice that his clothes were changed into beige cargo pants and great in size but fit with a little comfortable space interval hoodie. Is this a uniform or something? "Before you ask, we are tight on fabric," Alluka answered his mental question. "But we need clothes that aren't heavy while serving the role. Also, pockets!"

Killua hummed. They walked out of the room. Even the walls were sturdier than he remembers. His dad figured everything out. It would be too hard for the infected to crash their mountain. 

Their footsteps echoed upon walking amidst the hallway. Fifteen minutes were wasted just to exit the mansion. There, Alluka handed him his pair of beige air force shoes. What a great quality for someone who's tight on necessities. "We need those legs running comfortably. Don't question." Said Alluka. Killua rolled his eyes.

It was undeniably flexible in Killua's feet. He trotted in his place to warm up, then they walked down the hill towards the cramped camp. "Gon's down there?" He questioned.

"Yes. He's supposed to be isolated in the medical building. Father made sure to acquire it with all the requirements." Kalluto answered whilst fixing his gun behind his back.

"You’re isolating him?!" Killua was regaining his senses little by little. The words started to make sense to him further with each step he’s taking.

"Yes. We need to watch him until he wakes up. There is no guarantee that Gon won’t turn. Once the medics make sure he’s alright, Father will get him to work immediately."

"What do you mean?!"

"He's a sergeant. We need him to lead a platoon."

"I don't give a fucking shit. He needs rest!" Killua yelled. But when Kalluto eyed him, he knew that he could do nothing about it. "I'll talk to Father."

"After the tour."

Without objections, they went inside a building made of metallic sheets. Upon getting into the hospital, the pungent smell was chaotic. Killua had to cover his nose and mouth in fear of puking. Blood, pus, inflammations, stinkiness are all mixed together and more.

That’s for the smell, what about the grunts? He hears loud ones and faint ones. The screams. They’re agonizingly emitting as if witnessing death. The cries. The pain. All reminds him of what happened. Forget the smell, Killua has to cover his ears. “Big brother?!”

“Luka, let’s move faster,” Kalluto ordered, so both the younger Zoldycks forced Killua to move forward. And they went deeper into the reformed hospital. Killua has to escape the emergency entrance, where a lot of injured people are. Somewhat, it’s igniting a bad memory.

That’s true.

It’s igniting Gon’s screams. 

That’s when they stood face to face with one of the doors. The voices dulled down, but Killua seemed dizzy and lost. He wonders how his siblings can identify which room to go to. Everything looks the same. There isn’t even any number on the door. “Gon’s inside. Let’s ask if it’s safe—” Killua didn’t wait for his sister to continue. He opened the door without flinching, not hesitating in the slightest. 

Right then, their eyes met…

“Gon.” He woke up and his face was contorted with pain. “Gon!” The second time Killua yelled, Gon looked up. He was startled, but his eyes brightened. His eyes... Human.

“Killua…” At the mention of his name, something broke. Killua felt handcuffed, but now he’s free. The feeling penetrated for a moment, and it was broken the other moment. His reactions aren’t that fast for some reason. He rushed and softly landed on the mattress next to Gon. He sat and hugged. Warmth. That’s what he wants to feel. Skin. Not some asphalt amalgamated bacteria covering the beautiful tan of him. Flesh. All thriving and strong. He’s alive. He’s human. 

They didn’t talk. The younger siblings stayed in the room, worried that Gon would bite their brother’s head. But, Gon seemed too soft, hugging Killua back with one arm as if they’ve known each other for years. He looked miserable, though. Holes from blood loss engraved under his eyes — all bluish. Cheeks sunken, and body weak. The shirt he wears is barely filled. But neither of the adults spoke about it. Killua didn’t seem to mind anything but the fact that Gon is still human. Right when the food arrived, Killua knew how hungry he is after seeing it. Alluka brought him a meal to eat with Gon, and everything was done in silence. 

Killua was barely looking Gon in the eyes now. He was too scared to look, too scared to talk. 

Because he’s too scared of confrontation. 

Both of them knew that Gon wanted to die. It would’ve been easier for him. 

Both of them knew that Killua was selfish. There is nothing to talk about. 

Ten minutes, Kalluto counted, until the doctors entered the room. They asked everyone out, and Killua knew he couldn’t object. This is an essential and thorough check-up. “I’ll be back,” Killua mumbled, hesitatingly leaving to continue on with the tour. 

It felt like Gon is uncomfortable with him around anyway...

After going on with the tour, Killua witnessed what he had never expected. Everyone was cramped under countless nylon tents to prevent the rain. Screams of pain emitted from a lot of them, but others were still as if abandoned.

Some were sitting outside, eyeing Killua who eyes them back. Their clothes were torn, and Alluka explained about the shortage of supplies again. They're making more clothes for them, but they aren't fast enough. Thus, some are dying from cold.

"Why don’t you allow them in the mansion?!"

"We don't trust them, brother. What if they got greedy?" Kalluto replied. The shallow part of Kalluto's reply would anger anyone because it seems heartless. However, the deeper part is right. Once a weak and disarmed human gets closer to the main power, he'll be blinded. He'd want to consume that as his, to be a leader. To be powerful.

Not everyone could go to the base, their mansion, their headquarter. They're saving lives, but not all of them are loyal. So, they're right to be cautious. "Do we lack food?" Killua asked.

"It's the only thing we don't lack," Alluka replied. Killua somewhat felt the sarcasm in her tone. Right then, Killua hears a few familiar voices. His eyes widened when he turned to spot them.

"Ayo! The albino boy!" A familiar red-headed screamed, waving his hand. Next to him stood a shorter male, too old and wrinkled.

"Ray and William…" Killua gasped, grinned, and ran towards them. Gon's going to be so happy. Those two soldiers will lighten his day for sure. "You survived!" Ray exclaimed when Killua halted.

"You survived too." Killua softly said, looking down to his feet.

"Gon… made it?" Ray mumbled. "I… Caleb is resting in peace now. I… Did it." Killua looked up at Ray who was grinning, but tears ran down his face. "You didn't leave Gon to suffer, did you?"

"I… I didn't…" Killua trembled, shutting his eyes. He did worse than killing him. He put him in so much pain. "I did worse than this… I… forced him to stay alive."

No one talked after that. Killua was trembling, crying, and gritting his teeth guiltily. He saw Gon's pleas in his eyes, begging him to do it, to kill him. But, he's selfish.

"Ray?! Will!" A cracked voice yelled. Killua's eyes widened, so he wiped them fast before the owner of the voice approached. When he turned, a sturdy arm engulfed him in a hug. "Hey, there. You're here, too." Killua couldn't look up. He buried himself into Gon's chest, clutching the beige fabric and biting his lip. He's not crying in front of Gon. Nope. He'll make fun of him.

"Gon," Ray mumbled. Obviously in shock. "You're alive, soldier." Although his tone trembled, Ray saluted.

Gon tittered and nodded once. "Thanks to him." He head-gestured toward Killua, who refused to look at Gon. "I never thought I'd survive after being bitten."

"What?!" William howled. "You were bitten?! How are you—"

"He cut my arm." Gon looked down at the space of his left sleeve. "He rescued me… again."

Killua finally broke the embrace, taking a few steps away from them to cry it out. Gladly no one followed. Alluka and Kalluto were watching from afar too. Gon turned to his brothers in duty, sternly wondering about everything they passed through.

The survivors of Savil. The truck… Caleb….

"Caleb isn't here anymore." Ray started. "I killed him."

"You rescued him," Gon corrected. "Took all of his sufferings. You did what I couldn't do."

"Yeah…"

"Can't call you a coward right now, can I?" He smiled, bumping shoulders, patting biceps then resting back in agony. It is too hard to kill someone you know, way too hard. The bravery Ray showed Gon today earned him genuine respect from the sergeant. "Did any survive?"

"Hardly," William replied. "If you consider three people surviving, excluding us, is a successful mission, then yes."

"Who survived?" Gon asked again.

"Tonpa, Ponzu, and Pokkle," Ray replied. When Gon seemed confused and hardly remembering, Ray demonstrated, "Tonpa  _ the businessman with feet stench _ , if you remember Killua's insult." Gon's eyes brightened. "Ponzu, the widow. Pokkle the hunter." 

"Oh! Oh!! I know them. I remember." 

"Yes. These are the only survivors. Out of thirty." William reminded, staggering a rigid sigh.

"Better than none." Gon mumbled, but his heart clenched. It's painful how much they're losing although it's not even two weeks yet. "This is crazy."

"Of course. What are you expecting from a global genocide?" William sarcastically retorted, that old man.

Killua joined back again. Gon looked at him, but it seems that the albino was avoiding his gaze. "You won't hug me or anything?" Gon questioned, startling the two soldiers. What Gon just said shocked them. Something changed between Gon and Killua after leaving the truck, Ray was sure of it. "I thought we're lovers right now."

Killua's cheeks reddened. He finally dared to look at Gon from the corners of his eyes. "Wh, why do you think we are?"

"You confessed."

Killua looked down embarrassingly. "You heard that?"

"Of course. You’re just playing dumb right now."

Ray and William were looking back and forth between them. What the fuck? It's just a few days… But, honestly? One day in an apocalypse is like an eternity. They understand how strong ties could be when it's formed amidst the chaos.

"Just… don't ignore me." Gon mumbled. He was too close to Killua. His chest bumped on Killua's shoulder who tensed. "Or you can't look at me because I have one arm?"

Killua finally turned to Gon. His breaths were getting harsher, tears brimming his eyes, and lip quivering in guilt. "I'm sorry."

Gon listened. "I, I was selfish. I… I should've killed you."

"Oh, wow. That's harsh." Killua sobbed, wiped his tears, and hugged Gon. His arms were protectively wrapped around him, squishing Gon's torso by the force of them. 

"I couldn't kill you…"

"It's fine—"

"You lost an arm…"

"Killua—"

"I hurt you, so you can stay with me—" Gon broke the embrace, hardly, raised Killua's face by the chin and kissed him. For an instant, everything faded. 

No Ray, no William; No Alluka, no Kalluto; No survivors, no apocalypse. Just Gon, his kiss, and Killua who melted like dissolved sugar. A kiss was never an antidepressant to Killua. It is now, though. His hands grabbed Gon's face, sensing him. He's alive between his hands this time. Although Gon's face isn't lively like before, it wasn't as bad as when he laid motionless on Killua's lap three days ago. 

Gon's body was still weak, but he's standing. He should rest, Killua's sure — or he's just scared that Gon might faint from fatigue.

When they broke the kiss, Gon was finally aware of his surroundings. He was aware of that since the beginning, but Killua needed it. Even though the albino was still in a daze, Gon had to look around the circle of inspectors. "What are all of you looking at? A puppet show?! Everyone back to your jobs! NOW!" Everyone scattered around after Gon's military order.

Ray was faintly snickering, and William was staring impressively. "Using your military commands against civilians, for personal uses? You're a bad sergeant." William remarked, embarrassing Gon. The twenty-two years old soldier turned to William, obviously embarrassed, but acting nonchalant. 

On the other hand, Killua was in his little world. Gon kissed him passionately. What shocked him is how calm it turned him. It felt so alive, so warm. "How do you feel?" Gon suddenly asked, giving his attention back to the albino.

"I'm the one who should ask that."

"No, Killua. There is nothing harder than seeing someone you care about die." Killua looked at Gon, whose expression was haunted and full of pain. "I'm worried about you," he admitted. "No one deserves to be put in that position. Just… hurting a human even if he wasn't someone you know… it's… traumatizing to kill… to intentionally injure someone."

Killua's lip trembled, but he inhaled. "I'm now coping." He said breathlessly. "I'm happy you're here." Gon beamed, kissing Killua's forehead before turning. What stopped him from moving was two females. Two of the previously forming crowd weren't afraid of Gon's command. So, they remained.

"Mito? Noko?" Gon's voice hitched when his eyes landed on them. 

Happy…

And mournful…

His grandmother didn't make it.


	13. Malice Confinement

Killua’s footsteps echoed unpleasantly on the hard iron floor. Tragedies were lying all around the place. Killua couldn’t see Gon break down like this. He had to leave Gon along with the two females. Although he was anxious about leaving him, he knew that the woman and the fine girl are too important to Gon. He needed space to cry with them, and Killua needed time to reason with his father.

The echo of his feet abruptly stopped after a disturbing sound of friction. He was face to face with the eighteenth-century door of his father’s room. The door is made of fine and thick wood, pierced with metal to hold steady. It separated him from the room that Killua always avoided when he was younger. However, he’s the one who’s coming to it now, by his own feet. After the third knock, he went inside. His face was contorted with rage. “Scrap Gon’s name from the list of fighters.” 

Silva turned to look at his stubborn child. Even though Killua clearly witnessed his dad in a meeting with a lot of leaders, he didn’t give a shit. Silva looked around the fighters, contemplating what to do. It seemed that Killua won’t back out without talking about this just now. “Gon is still sick. He lost someone close just now, too.”

Silva didn’t reply, and Killua’s voice was echoing all around the metallic room. Aside from the sound of dripping water, stillness found its way inside. Finally, Silva excused himself. He grasped Killua’s elbow, forcing him outside the room, and closed the door. For some reason, he didn’t glare or glower at Killua for being disrespectful. For being so stubborn. He just looked down at him with a serious look. “I’m sure that Gon can speak for himself.”

“It’s—”

“Who do you think you are to talk on someone’s behalf? If you’re my son, that doesn’t mean you have any privilege to burst in the meeting room like this and throw your orders.” 

“Gon’s sick!”

“So what?!” Silva’s voice rang all around the empty and dark halls. The vibration extended into Killua’s ears, echoing hauntingly and making the effect thrive. “So what?” He repeated, sternly looking down at his son. For some reason, Killua’s fight against his dad seemed useless. He felt like a child who knew nothing. This is war. 

His dad was the kind of man who always did the dirty job for the military. It’s the reason why he trained his children in self-defense and, at least, one weapon. Killua had to choose one, so he went with a sniper. However, daggers were a must too. It felt great to know some attack techniques. He didn’t know why his dad trained them on that until he graduated high school. They have a lot of underground haters…

So, now. Killua knows why his father, his mighty father, asked that. So what? Gon’s sick, but not disabled enough to stay out of the field. Not badly injured. Still good to fight… When a lot has already died, Gon’s still thriving. Why would he get an advantage when other fighters are more injured than him? “Have you considered asking Gon about it before you came here?” Silva asked again. 

“No.”

“Who are you to talk on his behalf?” 

“His lover.” Silva raised his head, however, his eyes were still piercing down at his son. His lover. And Silva has to excuse him because he’s his son’s lover. Lovely. “You’re just tossing him into the frying pan when you know he can’t defend himself.” Killua continued, and his voice danced amongst the escaping words. “Because, of course, Illumi told you that I have a thing for him. You dislike it, so Gon better gets out and die, right?” 

“I don’t care, Killua.” Silva’s scratchy voice emitted, a ting of disappointment was huffed out. He put his hand on Killua’s shoulder for a tight squeeze. “Your relationship with him is nothing to me when we are surrounded by death. You playing around—”

“I’m serious about him.”

“—You playing around is not my top priority now.” Silva ignored the cut in between, continuing his speech as if Killua said nothing. “Illumi told me everything, including that Gon might be the key to end this apocalypse.” Killua looked up at his dad in utter confusion. “That means I won’t risk killing him, son. Not now at least. But his knowledge is important. We can’t ignore that either.” 

The tight grip on his shoulder ached. His pupils quivered when he looked down again. “At least, put me in his team.”

“No way.”

“Why not?!” Killua raised his voice again. “I… I—”

“You’re a medical student. You’re most needed where injured people are.”

“That’s why I have to be with him!” Silva shook his head. Killua was sputtering nonsense to him, wasting his meeting time. 

“Just go. I don’t have time to convince you.” He sternly said, glowering at Killua with eyes shining under the hung torches.

°•~~~~•°

"GON!" Killua screamed. 

He looked around the darkroom. Nothing but void greeted him. He could feel his hand clinging high in the air, but it wasn't just air until he woke up. What was that? Another nightmare? He clutched Gon's left arm and screamed for him to stop, but Gon didn't. And his arm was the only thing left for Killua to cling at, amputated and bloody. 

Why is he getting all these nightmares? Where is he anyway? As if a wall of ice fell atop him, he started shivering as if he's an icicle ready to break free. He hugged himself, teeth clattering. A few days ago, Gon met his aunt. He broke down because his grandmother didn't make it, and he refused to stay with Killua because he needed some time with his aunt  _ and that girl. _ It was alright, but he's so scared now. He's losing Gon over and over again in those nightmares. The amputated arm always haunted his mind. He's always bloody, stained by the blood of his loved ones. He's not okay. Darkness is not his friend anymore.

That's why he needs him now.

He slid his legs to the ground, feeling the solid surface. Although it's cold, it helped Killua understand that he's not dreaming. He didn't know how he got himself up when his legs were jittery, opening the door stealthily and heading out aimlessly.

The torches around the mansion were blazing and crackling. And Killua waddled to Gon's assigned room in the mansion. He stood face to face with the door. It's been days since he saw his face. How is he doing? What if that girl is there? Killua was scared to step inside. 

He doesn't wanna catch him with someone else, not after all the nightmares of him dying or leaving. Nonetheless, he couldn't leave either. So, he knocked. 

No answer.

His room in the other hallway was hauntingly calling for him, but Gon's door was amiably welcoming. That's why he dared to open it and step inside. "Gon?" Hushed and calm, he called. Gon stirred in his sleep, and soon enough, he turned to look at Killua silently. 

"Killua? What are you doing here?" Asked Gon. His voice was scratchy and cracked from sleeping. It made Killua hot. "Are you okay?" Asked Gon. He sat and looked at Killua in the dark. It was hard to see each other's expressions, but their gazes were attracting them to each other like magnets.

The only light was the moon's light that seeped from the sweaty window. "I… I can't sleep." Killua shifted. He regrets coming here. Now that he looks like a child who peed himself, going to his parents for a hug after a nightmare. It's embarrassing. "I…"

"You can sleep here then." Without questioning, Gon stumbled but successfully moved towards the wall. The little space that he provided wasn't enough for both of them, but it's better than sleeping alone at the moment. Thankfully, Gon didn't ask about it.

Killua hesitantly approached the other, reluctantly lying on his side and giving his back to Gon. He could feel the curious gaze piercing his back, but he wasn't ready to talk about it. "I'm training a platoon tomorrow." Killua opened his eyes when he heard the deep and husky tone of Gon. "Figured that you should know."

Killua sank into the blanket to warm himself up, eyes shining guiltily and posture tensing. "I'm sorry… I tried talking to my father. But—"

"No. I asked him to hurry up. There is no time to wait for my full recovery though." Killua turned. Their eyes interlocked amidst the dark, breaths hot on each other's faces. 

"Are you okay, Gon?" Killua didn't specify why he's asking. But it felt genuine and explained because Gon understood. Ever since Gon met with Mito, he isolated himself. The death of his grandmother was a huge shock. He wasn't that worried because it was supposed to be an isolated island. But who would've known the ship was carrying an infected person?

"I'm fine now. It's… not so surprising." Killua didn't press the topic, but he soothingly nuzzled on Gon's chest, grabbing his shirt to feel his warmth. The muscular arm was wrapped around his frame, and Killua felt blessed to be cuddled in a cold night like this. “My grandmother had a huge part of my life.” Killua intently listened when the mournful tone of Gon emitted. “She was the mom to me.” Whoever knows this fact becomes shocked. They all think that Mito is in the place of his mother, but to Gon, it was a little different. “She always takes care of me when Mito goes to her work.”

“Mito took the place of your dad…” Killua stated although it had a tinge of an inquiry. 

“Yes. She brought me everything I wanted. She worked hard and she was so strong. I wanted to be like her, to make her proud, so she wouldn’t worry about the bills anymore.” Killua nuzzled into Gon’s chest and ignored the forming lump in his throat. He could feel Gon’s pain trespassing in his heart. He wanted to mourn the slight happiness they’ve had before the apocalypse. Now that he knows how ungrateful they were for the peace they’ve had. They silently mourned her, wishing that she rests in peace. She’s probably in a better place, Gon believes so. Killua doesn’t believe so. 

"I want to join your platoon, but my dad is being a bitch." That’s how Killua broke the haunting silence again. He wasn’t ready to be engulfed by it yet, especially with the prickling sensation on his neck. He’s still scared of that nightmare, of Gon losing a voice. 

"Don't call your dad that." Gon rolled along although he seemed tired and in need of sleep.

"I won't let you fight alone, Gon."

"I'm not alone. And I can take care of myself."

"No, you can't. You take care of everyone else even if that meant losing your own life."

"Maybe that. But I have some people that are waiting for me to return. Guess… I'm going to fight for those people.” He paused slightly, probably waiting for Killua to reply. When he didn’t receive any reply, he added, “I've heard you're assigned to be a medic, right?"

"Sadly." Killua's grip tightened on Gon's shirt. He felt weak, and the silence was hurting his ears. He's mentally begging Gon not to stop talking. 

"You're not going to tell me what's wrong?" Gon finally decided to ask. Well, he won't ignore the trembling of the boy he's holding right now, though. "I've never seen you like that before."

"I've been diagnosed with PTSD." Said Killua. After the little confession, Gon stopped talking. Killua could've sworn that Gon lost his breath for a second although he didn't gasp. His grip tightened on Killua's frame to placate him, but the albino was able to feel the sullen aura that emitted from the man he connected with beforehand.

"I'm sorry. I think it developed after you amputated my arm, right?" Killua only nodded. "I'm sorry it was horrendous…" he's in no need for Gon's pity. Honestly, he's the one who should pity Gon for losing an arm and becoming side deaf. 

"No news about your hearing?"

"Doctors said it's not retrievable." Killua wrapped his arm around Gon's waist and bit his inner cheek. Even though this won't stop the stinging in his heart, it felt right to do it. "I'm training my platoon tomorrow morning because we might be sent later to the downtown of Padokea. We need food and medical things."

"Isn't it too early?"

"We're losing a lot, Killua." It ended at that. There weren't any more random conversations. Gon sifted into Killua's hair, and the latter just nuzzled. He just wants this to end, but all he cares about right now is Gon's embrace.

He wishes this moment would never end…

“I’m sure we’ll be okay.” He placated. “And we’ll live happily… unless you want a man with two arms.” Gon jokes, but Killua took that seriously. 

“I just want you although I’m still conflicted about my feelings.” 

“Conflicted.” Gon repeated.

“We didn’t really talk about it after that, right?”

“We didn’t, but I’d love to. Maybe after training, I could introduce you to my aunt.” Though this was a normal action, Killua felt so grateful with a few rapid pangs in his heart that Gon is considering that. He’s considering introducing him to the only person he cares about. 

“Who was the other girl by the way?” 

“A daughter of our neighbor, Noko.” Gon sensed the squirming and hesitation of Killua. He knew that the albino wanted to ask about something, but he ended up humming at what Gon just said. Because he knew Killua won’t ask, he added without question, “She’s like a sister to me. There is no rival.” 

“Wh-What do you mean?” Killua’s stuttering is everything. Gon enjoys it like a tune in his ear. So he only chuckled. Killua was grateful for the dark again to cover his embarrassment. They should sleep as well because Gon’s tone was too sleepy. Finally dropping the topic, they nuzzled into each other, sleeping calmly as they’ve never had before. 

Another day of the apocalypse with a depressed sun rising atop the metallic walls of the zoldyck land signaled that they finally survived another day. It was a busy day ever since everyone fluttered their eyes open. Alluka was assigned to bring Killua to the hospital and the meeting, but she was shocked to find his room empty. “Brother?” She stood there dumbfoundedly, wondering where her brother had left in an early hour. She also considered that he’s not a morning person. It got her thinking for a while, and the only place he could be in is Gon’s room. 

It's funny how easy she concluded that. It's either Killua being too obvious, or she knows her brother doesn't care about anyone else. He doesn't even know whom he'll meet in a few as well. Her footsteps echoed when she headed towards the designated room. What would her brother's reaction be when he goes to the meeting? At least Gon will be with them.

She politely knocked on Gon's door and went inside. The view stretched her lips into a magnificent smile. A few days ago, she had to stay with her brother because of his uncontrollable nightmares, but what she's seeing right now soothed her worrying insides. Killua was protectively nuzzled into the broad embrace of Gon. The thick arm was wrapped tightly around him as if Gon was scared of Killua running away. 

Her heart was warm, and she wished to get a love like that. "Morning!" With a chirp, she called. The two figures stirred at her voice, and she could hear Killua grumble and whine hoarsely like every morning. It also means that he slept comfortably, so she was grateful. "Wake up! We have a meeting to attend!"

Gon raised his disheveled head up, an eye squinted at the light. "Oh, hello."

"Hello! How was your sleep with my brother?" She said it innocently, but the hidden tease inside her tone caught Gon off guard. He didn't know she's a sibling of Killua, but now he's embarrassed. She chuckled at his baffled reaction, winking at him before jumping on Killua. "Wake up, soldier Zoldyck!"

Gon watched with a smile. This girl is absolutely bright — just like the sun. She bickered with the sleepy Killua for a whole minute until she threw him off the bed. "What's wrong with you?!" Killua whined, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. 

Both the other two giggled, but Killua cursed under his breath. "Why are you here?"

“There is an important meeting. Father had chosen a few new leaders, including you and Gon.” Alluka briefly reported, sitting on her knees next to Gon. 

“Me? A leader?” Killua expressed his shock without any intention of hiding it. He straightened on the ground and looked at his sister. “I’m assigned to a platoon?”

Alluka shook her head and looked down at her lap. “Things are bad, brother. You have enough knowledge for being a leader of a medical team.”

“I didn’t even graduate my first years—”

“But we lack the medical staff. That’s why.” No need for any further explanations. Killua went back to his room to change back into his beige outfit. He did it in a rush because he didn’t cope alone in the room. He needs fresh air. He headed to his father’s meeting room, and it was easy to remember the bickering with his dad a few days prior. When he knocked and came inside, the room was filled with bulky men, all armed and posture steady. Kalluto was sitting between them, but his small figure was easily covered by the buffy men. 

Killua spotted Gon sitting on the other side of the table, an empty seat was reserved next to him. They locked eyes. Right then, when Killua eyed him, Gon gave him a tight smile and gestured for the seat next to him. “Please, son, come inside.” Killua turned to the call to politely nod at his father and go to sit next to Gon. He was a little tense when he sat to his left, where Gon missed an arm. It was easy for Gon to spot Killua’s stiffness in mood and muscles, but he didn’t press it. 

Silva started, and the tension circled them like a thin blanket. Everyone was silenced, focused behaviors spread on their faces. Killua scrutinized the faces of the men. If Killua’s guts were always right, he would’ve believed that most of them are criminals. Alas, he doesn’t trust his guts, not like Gon does anyway. Some of them looked weaker, and they had the medic badge linked to their beige sweater. 

That’s when Killua’s eyes darted to a figure with a medic badge. His eyes ascended from the torse to the familiar silky and side-buzzed black hair and blue eyes. He was looking at Killua the whole time, and Killua was unaware of his obvious shocked facials. He even mouthed  _ Liam, _ without notice. No one heard him because it was too small, but Liam smiled. It won’t be too hard to read Killua’s lips, those lips that were on his once upon a time. 

“Survivors are dying from the plague. We’re short on medics.” Silva started with one of the points he wanted to discuss. It was unnerving to everyone in the room to know about the weakness they’ve had. Gon wasn’t giving any attention to the college student next to him. To that shocked look and those interlocked eyes. “And there are some riots in a few tents nearby. They were reported yesterday.” Killua finally broke free from Liam’s gaze, looking at his father when something grabbed his attention. 

Riots? What kind of riots? “What kind of riots?” Someone asked what was running in Killua’s brain. Silva bent down on the table, allowing a heavy sigh to escape. 

“We couldn’t find a suitable name for it, so we settled on riots. Pangs of fear everywhere. Three cases of rape. Five dead bodies due to successful suicide attempts. And a lot more.” The last sentence went ringing into the room. Everyone looked at Silva, awestricken.  _ A lot more. _ Chaos branched inside the mansion although the infected weren’t accessible. “Everyone’s desperate.” He finished. A few lightly grumbled others shifted in their seats. 

Even though the air was heavy, someone stood up. Tall and thin, dirty blonde hair, eyes piercingly shaped at ends. He saluted like a soldier although his thin posture wasn’t giving Killua the military vibe that Gon had on him. Professionally, the man started with a small introduction. “ShaiaPouf. Twenty-three. I came from Chimera City.” And then, he questioned the system. 

Killua was analyzing him thoroughly. It gave him an off feeling, but it wasn’t as worse as those familiar figures sitting next to him to the right. They were grinning at Killua when he eyed them, but that’s when it clicked. Aren’t they the thugs that trapped Kurapika in the gas station back in New Risal? Oh, boy. Who else is going to join the bloody party? 

That’s when the door burst without any notice, shutting Silva up when a man that almost breathed out flames burst inside. “I’m late.” Gon jumped off his seat, too shocked to say any word. “Yo. You survived.” The overly muscular man grinned when his eyes were met with Gon. It took Gon a minute to give a military salute. 

“Knuckle, sir.” Killua looked between them, very much as everyone else in the room. An armless man followed  _ knuckle _ inside, and Gon walked towards them. He got a strong pat from Knuckle and then a warm but also empty smile from the follow-up man. Killua wonder’s who they are. 

“You lost an arm, dude!” Knuckle exclaimed, frustratedly sighing and waving for everyone's attention when Gon only nodded in response. “Listen up. I’m Lieutenant Knuckle. And I worked directly on developing Project MC-5.” Everyone murmured confusedly, but when Gon turned around and looked sternly at them, everyone stopped talking. “Aka, Malice Confinement the fifth!” Knuckle yelled. 

Everyone knew that it was time to unravel the secret behind the sudden outburst of the plague. 

Malice Confinement the fifth… It already gives Killua an idea of what’s it all about. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far :D
> 
> Always make sure to leave a comment about what you liked the most in each chapter. Because it's what makes me going! Also, things are so heated now! I hope you're ready for what to come along on that trip.


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